# Why do zombies want brains? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 14, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-zombies-want-brains/404078 "2007-05-14T19:25:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-zombies-want-brains/404078/41 "2007-05-16T03:59:06Z")
I would imagine that zombies, whose teeth are frequently falling out, find brain tissue easiest to chew šŸ˜‰ Also, while the zombies in the computer game _Diablo II_ have been known to moan ā€œBraaaaiiins!ā€ as they shuffle toward the player, the zombies in Dungeons & Dragons have no special affinity for brains. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-zombies-want-brains/404078/42 "2007-05-16T13:23:45Z")
[QUOTE=MacTech] [the ā€œTarmanā€](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQzA6xGnwbg) was the first Undead American (IIRC) to speak and show higher-reasoning abilities [/QUOTE] That clip was TOO DAMN FUNNY! And I loved at the very end, when the kids ran up the stairs, how the one girlā€™s skirt just happened to catch on the railing and tear completely off. I may have to rent that masterpiece! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-zombies-want-brains/404078/43 "2007-05-16T14:23:29Z")
Itā€™s a towel, actually. \ ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-zombies-want-brains/404078/44 "2007-05-16T16:03:15Z")
[QUOTE=Christopher] See now, _The Guide_ strictly discusses terrestrial zombies. To be quite honest, the probability that anyone, much less zombies, has or ever will come from another planet is so low, that I must wonder what reality your living in šŸ˜‰ . Real terrestrial zombies do not have masters. [/QUOTE] But they are our dead (say that 10 times fast)ā€¦ Here is a quote from the masterpiece itself! [QUOTE=RULER] Plan 9ā€¦ah yes. Plan 9 deals with the resurrection of the dead. Long-distance electrodes shot into the pinion pituitary glands of recent dead. [/QUOTE] [Quote=TANNA] What do you think will be the next obstacle the Earth people will put in our way? [/QUOTE] > [@EROS](#): > > Well, as long as they can think weā€™ll have our problems. But those whom weā€™re > using cannot think. They are the dead. Brought to a simulated life by our > electrode guns. You know, itā€™s an interesting think when you considerā€¦the > Earth people, who can think, are so frightened by those who cannot: the dead. > Well our ship should be regenerated. We better get started. See They use our dead to conquer usā€¦ No brain eating eitherā€¦ just kinda lumbering around aimlessly and the occasional off screen attack. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-zombies-want-brains/404078/45 "2007-05-16T23:07:56Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] As **pinkfreud** notes, the thing about eating brains comes from **Return of the Living Dead** , which is non-Romero. Its **zoombies** , unlike his, speak, are animated by chemical means rather than space radiatioon or whatever, and **they can move pretty fast.** [/QUOTE] I guess thatā€™s why theyā€™re zoombies, eh ? Yeah, yeah, cheap joke, but I couldnā€™t resist. [QUOTE=Christopher] See now, _The Guide_ strictly discusses terrestrial zombies. To be quite honest, the probability that anyone, much less zombies, has or ever will come from another planet is so low, that I must wonder what reality your living in šŸ˜‰ . Real terrestrial zombies do not have masters. [/QUOTE] Anita Blake would disagree. And possibly have her zombies beat you up to prove it. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-zombies-want-brains/404078/46 "2007-05-16T23:37:46Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] Anita Blake would disagree. And possibly have her zombies beat you up to prove it. [/QUOTE] Sadly, she would probably be to busy having sex with him/her and possibly the zombies in question as well to actually give the kill order. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-zombies-want-brains/404078/47 "2007-05-17T07:45:58Z")
[QUOTE=Patty Oā€™Furniture] :rolleyes: What a cowardly line. [/QUOTE] I give that pun a ten, man. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-zombies-want-brains/404078/48 "2007-05-17T11:10:07Z")
Itā€™s all a misunderstanding, they actually want [branes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Branes). And zombies are really just Theoretical Physics grad students who havenā€™t slept in a couple of years. The best defense is to quote [Smolin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lee_Smolin#The_Trouble_with_Physics). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-zombies-want-brains/404078.md?page=2)