# Why does Donny Osmond irk the shit out of me? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 28, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032 "2003-10-28T15:19:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/21 "2003-10-28T17:41:19Z")
It’s his megawatt smile. Go go go go! ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/22 "2003-10-28T17:45:31Z")
**Juanita** : > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by essvee \* > \*\*I know that Monty is the self-styled defender of all things Mormon, but, man! Hitting the mats for Donny Osmond is simply beyond the pale. \*\* There you go, babe. ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/23 "2003-10-28T17:53:43Z")
Apropos of nothing I heard Donny Osmond on the Howard Stern show once, and Howard not surprisingly kept wanting to talk about sex. At some point he asked DO if he’d ever had a blowjob, DO said no. “Not even from your wife?” Asked Stern, and his response was along the lines of “I wouldn’t want to humiliate my wife by asking her to do something like that.” Now THAT surprised me. I don’t mind someone being a prude, but for heaven’s sake, a blowjob does a humiliating experience make. ---
**Author:** ![Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sat_on_Cookie)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/24 "2003-10-28T17:58:10Z")
Okay. This is what we have so far: Reasons why DO sucks: 1. His teeth 2. His chipmunk cheeks 3. His sister 4. His happiness, of which I might be jealous 5. His apparent lack of a penis or knowledge of intercourse 6. His role in “Joseph” which is causing some turmoil for those of us who liked it 7. His talk show 8. His 40,000 teeth bearin’, purple sock wearin’, Puppy Love blarin’, soulless, funkless entertainer from Aitch Eee Double Toothpicks 9. His butchering of “Living in America” 10. His snub of his brother, Tito, who he never, ever talks about 11. His reckless use of the term “rock and roll” 12. His sister’s stupid signature song 13. His real life Ned Flandery way 14. His megawatt smile ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/25 "2003-10-28T18:04:38Z")
Maybe people who are sheltered from sex don’t learn consideration, and they find blowjobs to be humiliating because their wives choke on the unexpected ejactulate… Go go go go! ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/26 "2003-10-28T18:12:47Z")
Maybe he’d be a bit more tolerable if he’d just get a blowjob. He’d be somewhat closer to being a little bit rock and roll, at any rate. ---
**Author:** ![Witch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Witch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Witch)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/27 "2003-10-28T18:15:14Z")
Donny was my first love. I went straight from him to Mick Jagger. My father is still reeling almost 30 years later 😃 I still have a soft spot for The Osmonds. I _really_ think they _really_ are that way, and they seem happy enough. More power to 'em. Love me for a reason, and let the reason be love… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/28 "2003-10-28T18:18:07Z")
“I’m a little bit rock and roll.” No, Donny, you aren’t. Not a little bit. Not a tiny bit. Not an amount that could be measured by NASA. You are neither an infinitesimal smidge rock nor a miniscule tad roll. The amount of rock and roll that you are amounts to, on yearly average, zero. You, sir, are the goose egg of heavy metal, the Big 0 of grunge, the empty wasteland of acid rock. But you’re not a bad game show host. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/29 "2003-10-28T18:18:39Z")
I’d like to see Marie with that _Something About Mary_ hair flip. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/30 "2003-10-28T18:20:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Witch \* > \*\*Donny was my first love. > > I went straight from him to Mick Jagger. My father is still reeling almost 30 years later :D\*\* Meh. My niece went from New Kids to Marky Mark to Jimi. I still applaud her almost 10 years later. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Witch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Witch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Witch)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/31 "2003-10-28T18:47:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tdn \* > \*\*Meh. My niece went from New Kids to Marky Mark to Jimi. I still applaud her almost 10 years later. 😉 \*\* Pretty Good!! But remember, 30 years ago Mick was wearing lots of make-up, satin skin tight pants, and shaking his bum alot. He wasn’t the upstanding Knight we see before us today 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/32 "2003-10-28T19:29:49Z")
kung fu & essvee can both go to hell as far as I’m concerned. So far, neither of them’s put forth a damn thing to show that ol’ Donny’s done anything other than smile to irk them. Sat on Cookie, on the other hand, does have a valid gripe. To wit, that song _Puppy Love_. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/33 "2003-10-28T19:32:51Z")
Just so’s essvee doesn’t whine (yes, whine) any extra: Sat on Cookie’s valid gripe is quoting you. So, you can be happy that you finally got one freaking thing right. IIRC, ol’ Donny’s married & has at least one child. But I could be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sat_on_Cookie)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/34 "2003-10-28T19:34:45Z")
Actually, **essvee** was the one who pointed out the horror that was “Puppy Love” ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/35 "2003-10-28T19:36:56Z")
The scary thing is that (allegedly) Donny Osmond has more Elvis than Michael J. Fox does. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/36 "2003-10-28T19:44:41Z")
Pssst…Sat on Cookie. Don’t look up for two minutes. 🙂 Gotta say I’m glad my posting beat your’s there! ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/37 "2003-10-28T19:56:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monty \* > \*\*kung fu & essvee can both go to hell as far as I’m concerned. So far, neither of them’s put forth a damn thing to show that ol’ Donny’s done anything other than smile to irk them. \*\* Be fair, **Monty**. I never said what irked me about Donny because, well, he doesn’t. I just find him bland and harmless and boring. Mayo-on-white-bread, if you will. The only thing in this thread that irks me is the presence of small horses of unique talent. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/38 "2003-10-28T20:02:09Z")
> [@](#): > > Apropos of nothing I heard Donny Osmond on the Howard Stern show once, and Howard not surprisingly kept wanting to talk about sex. At some point he asked DO if he’d ever had a blowjob, DO said no. “Not even from your wife?” Asked Stern, and his response was along the lines of “I wouldn’t want to humiliate my wife by asking her to do something like that.” Not that I don’t believe you but have you a cite for that? I’d like to read or hear that interview and I don’t think searching for such a thing would be wise here at the office. The fact that there might be a man who thinks it’s humiliating for his wife to perform a blowjob (on him, no less) is beyond my realm of comprehension. As to Donny Osmond, I really have no opinion of him. I think I’m a little too young (it’s getting harder and harder to use _that_ phrase, by the way) to know of the Osmond show. As I don’t watch talk shows, I didn’t know Donny and Marie had one. My exposure to them has been very, very limited, to say the least. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/39 "2003-10-28T20:07:49Z")
It was like Lawrence Welk for kids. ---
**Author:** ![Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sat_on_Cookie)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032/40 "2003-10-28T20:11:07Z")
From [marksfriggin.com](http://marksfriggin.com) > [@](#): > > After the game Howard spent some time with Donny and found out some interesting stuff. Donny was married at age 20 and was a virgin at the time. He’s never had anal or oral sex from his wife either! Howard found that to be very fascinating. He also admitted to seeing his sister, Marie, naked when he was about 18. I remember this interview and _think_ I recall him saying something about not wanting to humiliate his wife but I can’t find anything to that effect. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-donny-osmond-irk-the-shit-out-of-me/210032.md?page=3)