# Why does every damn social meeting have to involve the whole fucking family? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 10, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236 "2011-08-10T19:02:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/221 "2011-08-15T07:19:35Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > At some point I honestly believe Dio lacks the ability to see how he comes across. He does come off that way, despite the fact that he tries so hard to dramatically emphasize every point he makes. It’s actually kind of amusing when he gets offended by people repeating his own point for him. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/222 "2011-08-15T14:29:15Z")
Now someone’s going to come along whinging about the “Dio Show” when in reality, it’s the “Dio Offenderati Show”. **Dio** didn’t imply anything more offensive about people who like to do things separately from their family than other posters implied about people who prefer to eschew guys (or girls) nights out - that the wife must be a controlling shrew and that the kids will be stunted because their parents are hobby-less, friendless bores. Yet Dio is the one who “comes across” as offensive? I was much more offended by the “other side” but, you know what? I don’t whine and cry every time someone rubs me the wrong way. I don’t always agree with **Dio** and I’ve seen threads where his stances are pretty eye-rolling, but this just isn’t one of them. It’s like you all have decided you don’t like him, so you pick at every little thing he says, with Guin yapping along behind the little cool kids club. It’s boring and it’s threadjacking. Move on. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/223 "2011-08-15T16:43:57Z")
> [@C3](#): > > Yet Dio is the one who “comes across” as offensive? I suggest you re-read the earlier pages than this one. Mostly, Dio’s offensiveness comes from the fact that he shoots off without thinking, and does so with positions that are both extremist and ultimately untruthful. Case in point, his third post in the thread says “There never has been [one second during which he might prefer someone else’s company other than wife and kids] yet.” and then later in the thread he says "I occasionally meet a friend for dinner, if they happen to be in town (like I said, most of my friends live in other states. I’m a transplant here), it’s not like my wife won’t [i[let\* me, I just don’t like to very often. " If that doesn’t come across as abrasive and disingenuous to you, then frankly you need to recalibrate. ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/224 "2011-08-15T16:44:23Z")
Yes he did. He said that wanting to go out with a friend to a movie is not a legitimate reason to be away from your family. > [@](#): > > It’s not a question of why you would want to engage in the activity, it’s why should your wife have to be stuck with the kids while you do it. > > Weekends are family time. If you’re going to ditch them (and expect your spouse to pick up your slack), you better have a legitimate reason. Hanging out with your buddy to watch movies is not a legitimate reason. > > Personally, I no longer see the appeal in that kind of thing anyway. I’d much rather hang out with my family. Anyone who prefers their buddies to their families probably should not have made a family to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/225 "2011-08-15T17:44:54Z")
[QUOTE=Palo Verde] Yes he did. He said that wanting to go out with a friend to a movie is not a legitimate reason to be away from your family. [/QUOTE] Oh no! Someone said something you disagree with! I found these statements much more abrasive and judgmental than anything Dio posted: > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Living your lives completely for your kids and not ever allowing yourself any time without them and not allowing yourself any interests that they aren’t the centre of is not simply a different lifestyle choice - it’s unhealthy for everyone involved. > [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Then too there’s the practical aspect of it: your kids will eventually grow up and form lives of their own. If you’ve let all your friendships and hobbies and even your romantic relationship with your spouse fall by the wayside, what will you have left besides your job? > [@DianaG](#): > > The whole point of raising children is to give them the skills to get the hell out of your house. What exactly are you going to do with yourself when that happens if you’ve let everyone else in your life fall away? They make the assumption that the alternative to hanging out with your friends, without your family, is to lose all touch with your friendships, hobbies, and life outside your family and that you’re damaging your children. In other words, you’re a boring recluse and a bad parent. And this isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way about their posts. Maybe I should start a clique to follow these posters around now, dismantling every thread they post in, so that we can talk about how much they annoy us. Oh, wait, that would be stupid. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/226 "2011-08-15T17:51:22Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > I suggest you re-read the earlier pages than this one. Mostly, Dio’s offensiveness comes from the fact that he shoots off without thinking, and does so with positions that are both extremist and ultimately untruthful. Case in point, his third post in the thread says > > “There never has been [one second during which he might prefer someone else’s company other than wife and kids] yet.” > > and then later in the thread he says > > "I occasionally meet a friend for dinner, if they happen to be in town (like I said, most of my friends live in other states. I’m a transplant here), it’s not like my wife won’t [i[let\* me, I just don’t like to very often. " > > If that doesn’t come across as abrasive and disingenuous to you, then frankly you need to recalibrate. There’s nothing contradictory in those statements. Occasionally, I go out with just the girls because of social obligations - a good friend’s birthday or another special event. I have fun and it’s good to hang out with them, but if given the choice, I’d rather be with my family. They’re more interesting to me and I feel more at ease. What he said certainly wasn’t abrasive - he was simply stating how things are in his life. If you took offense at that, I think it’s you who needs the recalibration. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/227 "2011-08-15T20:26:44Z")
> [@C3](#): > > And this isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way about their posts. Maybe I should start a clique to follow these posters around now, dismantling every thread they post in, so that we can talk about how much they annoy us. Oh, wait, that would be stupid. Lol, are you new here? Dio is known for derailing threads with his opinionated bullshit. Hell, I actually agree with the guy a lot of the time, but even when that’s the case he’s just so overbearing and posts so many times that by the end of it I wanna change my own opinion just to not be on the same team as him. He’s the king of beating a dead horse, and there are countless Pit threads where he’s indicted for that very thing. I don’t think there’s anyone else here who can even compare to his behavior. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/228 "2011-08-15T20:32:19Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Lol, are you new here? Dio is known for derailing threads with his opinionated bullshit. Hell, I actually agree with the guy a lot of the time, but even when that’s the case he’s just so overbearing and posts so many times that by the end of it I wanna change my own opinion just to not be on the same team as him. He’s the king of beating a dead horse, and there are countless Pit threads where he’s indicted for that very thing. I don’t think there’s anyone else here who can even compare to his behavior. He didn’t do that in this instance, though. Just because he’s annoying in other threads doesn’t mean every thread that he participates in needs to be hijacked by the Dio Haters Club. Frankly, I find that little group of bullies far more annoying and intrusive than anything Dio could possibly come up with. If people have a problem with his posting style, they can certainly find one of the numerous other threads where they can rail to their hearts’ content. Otherwise, it would be nice if I could read a thread with Dio posts where everyone manages to discuss the topic at hand rather than their current favorite punching bag. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/229 "2011-08-15T20:34:50Z")
And, if you notice my join date, I’m not fucking new here, but I’ve been watching these little cliques form and dissolve here for over ten fucking years and it reminds me of fucking middle school. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/230 "2011-08-15T20:36:42Z")
This kept bothering me and it’s been quoted multiple times so I can’t let it go. So sayeth **Dio** way the fuck upthread: > [@](#): > > It’s not a question of why you would want to engage in the activity, **it’s why should your wife have to be stuck with the kids while you do it**. > > Weekends are family time. If you’re going to \*\*ditch them \*\*(and **expect your spouse to pick up your slack** ), you better have a legitimate reason. Hanging out with your buddy to watch movies is not a legitimate reason. > > Personally, I no longer see the appeal in that kind of thing anyway. **I’d much rather hang out with my family**. Anyone who prefers their buddies to their families probably should not have made a family to begin with. (all bolding mine) So, on the one hand, **Dio** is awesomeness personified because he’s so devoted to his family that he’d rather be no place else in the universe than with them … but if his wife is spending time with the family, she’s “stuck” with them. WTF? :dubious: Which is it, **Dio** - stuck with the family, or happy to be spending time with them? For the record, I’d rather be no place else than with **The Other Shoe** and our two cats - my little family. But to say that I have no legitimate reason not to go catch a movie with a friend is ridiculous. On occasion, I will do just that. I’ll be glad to be home, back to my family, but I’ll be glad I went out. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/231 "2011-08-15T20:56:16Z")
See, I think that Dio and the OP are guilty of the same thing. They both over generalize. Of course, if you ask your buddies to do something and **every single time** they want to bring their kids, it would be annoying…but the majority of the population, that I know, are willing to do different things with or without the family. Likewise, if a guy **always** did social things without including his wife or kids and **always** left the kids in the care of his wife, then he would be a nutsack, but again the majority of the population, that I know, pick and choose. It appears that Acsenray and Dio’s worlds are full of absolutes, which just doesn’t exist in my universe. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/232 "2011-08-16T14:22:59Z")
> [@C3](#): > > He didn’t do that in this instance, though. Just because he’s annoying in other threads doesn’t mean every thread that he participates in needs to be hijacked by the Dio Haters Club. Agreed. I think **Dio** presented his perspective pretty reasonably, here, and people are assuming judgement where none was intended. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/233 "2011-08-16T14:35:34Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Agreed. I think **Dio** presented his perspective pretty reasonably, here, and people are assuming judgement where none was intended. Bull. At one point ge used the word “abandon” to describe a parent going out with friends. How anyone can deny his abrasiveness in this thread is beyond me. Hell, C3 as much as admitted that Dio was abrasive, but decided to use the age old “other people did it too!” defense. Middle school, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/234 "2011-08-16T14:40:10Z")
I don’t think **Diogenes** has said anything unreasonable here. I believe folks are used to a particular style of declaratory statement from him, and in this instance have read it into what he said, even though it isn’t there. He said, as a general principle, that anyone who prefers their buddies to their families probably should not have made a family to begin with. People responding to that statement are interpreting it to mean absolutely, for every moment, in every circumstance, anyone who chooses to spend time with a buddy instead of their families should not have made a family to begin with. That’s not what he said. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/235 "2011-08-16T14:42:36Z")
\ _shrug_ “…developmentally arrested retards…” sounds pretty judgemental to me, especially in response to a complete joke, but hey, YMMV and all that standard boilerplate. There are an awful lot of bristling hackles in this thread. I still think the stuff I quoted/bolded above has a weird cognitive dissonance to it. 😉 \ ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/236 "2011-08-16T14:55:51Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > He said, as a general principle, **that anyone who prefers their buddies to their families** probably should not have made a family to begin with. People responding to that statement are interpreting it to mean absolutely, for every moment, in every circumstance, anyone who chooses to spend time with a buddy instead of their families should not have made a family to begin with. > > That’s not what he said. Thats nice. Except nobody here was talking about THAT were they? Dio needs to learn to read better or write better or get used to getting shit for not being able to do either. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/237 "2011-08-16T15:10:29Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Thats nice. Except nobody here was talking about THAT were they? > > Dio needs to learn to read better or write better or get used to getting shit for not being able to do either. And who wouldn’t rather be out drinking with their buddies than cleaning up baby puke?! That’s not the point. If you have kids you have a responsibility to them. But that doesn’t mean that preferring to be doing something else makes you a horrible parent. It makes you human. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/238 "2011-08-16T15:12:38Z")
Can someone just pit Dio in another thread so we can get it out of this one? ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/239 "2011-08-16T15:17:57Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Hell, C3 as much as admitted that Dio was abrasive, but decided to use the age old “other people did it too!” defense. Middle school, indeed. “As much as admitted”? What the hell does that mean? You mean like this? [QUOTE=C3] What he said certainly wasn’t abrasive - he was simply stating how things are in his life. [/QUOTE] and… THANK YOU, **Ascenray**. I’m done with my rant. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236/240 "2011-08-16T17:54:05Z")
> [@C3](#): > > Oh no! Someone said something you disagree with! > > I found these statements much more abrasive and judgmental than anything Dio posted: > > They make the assumption that the alternative to hanging out with your friends, without your family, is to lose all touch with your friendships, hobbies, and life outside your family and that you’re damaging your children. In other words, you’re a boring recluse and a bad parent. No, YOU made that assumption. I think my post was pretty clear in its absolutes - if ALL people do is spend time with their kids and do NOTHING else, it isn’t healthy for them or the kids. If people are anywhere in the middle between completely ignoring their kids and doing nothing BUT looking after them, I wasn’t talking about them. > [@](#): > > And this isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way about their posts. Maybe I should start a clique to follow these posters around now, dismantling every thread they post in, so that we can talk about how much they annoy us. Oh, wait, that would be stupid. Like, a fan club? Sweet! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-every-damn-social-meeting-have-to-involve-the-whole-fucking-family/592236.md?page=13)