# why does everyone hate the aliens in kingdom of the crystal skull? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 19, 2010, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970 "2010-05-19T04:13:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/21 "2010-05-19T20:07:03Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > I don’t think this is quite right. While the Ark of the Covenant is a legitimate mythological artifact and does (more or less) have the advertised capabilities represented in _Raiders_, the Holy Chalice or Grail is definitely a post-Roman (and post-Gnostic) invention, initially presented in _Perceval_ and largely popularized by Robert de Boron’s apocryphal stories of Joseph of Arimathea, which were the first to make it a Christian myth. Mythologists widely place the origins of the grail in Celtic myth, and its advertised capabilities in the film are mostly a manufacture of the screenwriters. Yeah, I was including the Celtic antecedents to the Grail myth when I said it had been around for thousands of years. Which is debatable, of course, as the myth changed significantly when it was Christianized, but even if you throw that out, de Boron’s work is, what, eight centuries old now? Sufficiently ancient that it doesn’t undercut my point about the cultural weight behind the myths used in the first and third movies not being present in the ancient astronauts theme of the fourth, at any rate. Not sure what you mean about the Grail’s powers being an invention of the screenwriters, though. The only power it demonstrates in the film is the ability to heal mortal wounds, which I understand to have been fairly constant in the myth, at least since it became attached to the Arthurian mythos. We see some other supernatural events at the end of the third Indy movie, but I don’t think these were powers of the grail itself, but rather, wards and safeguards placed around it. > [@](#): > > There are no Sankara stones or anything really like them in Hindu mythology; although Lingam stones (which are marked by runes or hieroglyphs) do serve as icons in the Hindu faith they aren’t anything like the Sankara stones in the film. I figured that was the case, but I don’t know much about Hindu mythology, so I wasn’t sure. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/22 "2010-05-19T20:32:31Z")
I’ll second Stranger on a Train. The Lingam stones are indeed a symbol of fertility, though, which is where I guess they got the correlation to crops and such. Here’s a funny thing. The Lingam is a symbol of male fertility. Specifically, Lord Shiva’s. It is shaped sort of like a male penis, if you squint a bit. And we worship it…by pouring white milk over it. Yeah. Anyway, as to the aliens. I don’t mind aliens in a story sometimes but most of the time they feel like an annoying copout. I hate when people make aliens out to be these great, grand, powerful things - so much more intelligent than us poor shoddy humans and obviously NO human could have ever built X thing. When the fact is that humans do amazing things. It just seems insulting to our intelligence. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/23 "2010-05-19T21:10:33Z")
> [@JSexton](#): > > I know you’re winking, but Warehouse 13 is exactly the point. In that universe, to certain people, those kind of artifacts ARE mundane. They’re stored in a big warehouse, after all. The heroes are equipped with all sorts of futuristic technology, and it quickly becomes commonplace for them. This is the opposite of how the Indiana Jones series treats magical artifacts. > > Back to the OP: My short answer is “What if they blew up the mothership at the end of Independence Day and Nazis rained out?” That would be equally as bad as the end of Crystal Skull. They’re only mundane to the agents. To everyone else, such things are fantasy because as soon as they’re discovered, they’re snatched up and locked away. But we can presume that Indy happens to prefer going after items that are supposed to have powers, so he ends up in competition to the Warehouse agents. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/24 "2010-05-19T21:16:51Z")
> [@JSexton](#): > > I know you’re winking, but Warehouse 13 is exactly the point. In that universe, to certain people, those kind of artifacts ARE mundane. They’re stored in a big warehouse, after all. So was the Ark. In fact, the first time I saw a commercial for Warehouse 13 I was stoked precisely because of the connection to Raiders. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/25 "2010-05-19T22:05:35Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Mostly, it’s that the movie kind of sucked. Aliens in and of themselves aren’t _inherently_ bad, but frankly by the time we got there I didn’t give a rat’s ass about the movie anymore. They lost any emotional investment for me with that incredibly retarded chase scene. (By the way, once they blew up the Video Game Road-Making Machine, who had made the road they were still driving on?) When they fell down two extra waterfalls for absolutely no reason whatsoever I wasn’t just “meh” about the whole thing, I was actively disgusted. They would have really had to wow me after that to get me on board again. > > Remember in _Raiders of the Lost Ark_ in the map room, where the “amazing wonders” music swells up and the light hits the staff and throws the beam to the Well of Souls? Remember how _awesome_ that was? And Indy’s awestruck by it too? Yeah, there wasn’t none of that in the fourth movie. This. Absolutely this. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/26 "2010-05-19T22:09:28Z")
Also, if it matters: [South American army ants **cannot** eat an adult human alive. (Though some African ants might.)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=399197) ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/27 "2010-05-19T22:10:34Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > Damn, now I have to see the movie. But, really, why do that to yourself? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Gustav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Gustav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gustav)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/28 "2010-05-19T22:12:41Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Anyway, as to the aliens. I don’t mind aliens in a story sometimes but most of the time they feel like an annoying copout. I hate when people make aliens out to be these great, grand, powerful things - so much more intelligent than us poor shoddy humans and obviously NO human could have ever built X thing. When the fact is that humans do amazing things. It just seems insulting to our intelligence. Welllllll they kind of win that one just by virtue of having presumeably developed a means of travelling to another solar system. They’ve pretty much got us beat on that one. Anything amazing that humans do would be about as amazing to them as an ant hill is to us. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/29 "2010-05-19T22:28:04Z")
I liked the beginning, where the russians were so nicely menacing. I could see the russians trying to get the Arc, or some other artifact that they need. I could even see the crystal skull, as some sort of lead to a resource [mine of rare element perhaps, linked with a lost city like Opar just in south America] I think the atomic bomb bit sucked, lose that part. Running through the test site and getting nicked by the government, OK. We were paranoid at that time. The paranoia works. Keep the meeting with Shia and the pursuit through campus, I liked the bit in the library. You could keep the wandering through the lunatic asylum, and the bit with his friend in the russian camp. Keep a little bit of the race through the forest, lose the waterfalls. Use the skull as a compass to find the lost city - just need to figure out what is in the lost city for the end - the alien bit sucks. Maybe an element with some sort of radiation that heals instead of kills, and that spanish explorer is still alive because of the element. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/30 "2010-05-19T23:17:08Z")
> [@Gustav](#): > > Yeah, the previous movies had mystical elements too, but not all mystical elements are equally silly. Santa Claus is mystical too, but you wouldn’t expect him in an Indiana Jones movie. I don’t think aliens as a concept is unworkable, but if you’re gonna do something like that you need to do an extra good job selling it. Can’t just tack on a bunch of goofy translucent dudes and a flying saucer at the end for no reason and with no real foreshadowing. Good writers could do something with the [Mythic Santa](http://www.cryptomundo.com/wp-content/uploads/wildmanposterlg.jpg).\* - From [Cryptomundo](http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/santas-family-tree/) But they would have to be _good!_ ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/31 "2010-05-19T23:18:48Z")
There was a lot of good stuff in the beginning, I agree. The first chase scene was fun, and it was an Indiana Jones-ish scene. After that… well, it had a ton of the same problems as the Star Wars prequels. Too much CGI, not enough heart. Look, we don’t get excited just because it’s Indiana Jones anymore than we get excited just because it’s Darth Vader and Obi Wan Kenobi. You have to earn it and then keep earning it. And I have to _give a shit._ ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/32 "2010-05-20T01:53:37Z")
Wasn’t it the aliens that caused Cate Blanchett’s brains to leak out her ears? I hate 'em for that; it’s like, this aggression will not stand, man. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/33 "2010-05-20T01:58:38Z")
I hate the whole movie equally. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/34 "2010-05-20T03:24:50Z")
^^Yes. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/35 "2010-05-20T03:48:59Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > why does everyone hate the aliens in kingdom of the crystal skull? Let me fix this for you. Why does everyone hate the aliens in _Kingdom of the Crystal Skull_? Could you at least try? Would it kill you? ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/36 "2010-05-20T04:12:59Z")
You, **UncleRojelio** , sir, have just provided me with my biggest laugh so far today. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/37 "2010-05-20T04:26:07Z")
> [@MTCicero](#): > > But, really, why do that to yourself? 😕 That’s what I was just thinking. I didn’t see it when it came out and it was on my ‘get around to someday’ list. But I didn’t know there were aliens and now it’s pretty much been bumped off even that list. I suppose I should thank the OP, even though a spoiler like that really has no place in a thread title. ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/38 "2010-05-20T04:30:25Z")
come one guys at least I used a question mark in the title this time. I haven’t worked my way up to capital letters yet. no need to be so mean about it. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/39 "2010-05-20T04:36:27Z")
You aren’t really accusing us of being mean again, are you? Don’t make me bring up the Slave I. ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_s\_Son](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19adc/32.png) [@Jim\_s\_Son](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_s_Son)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970/40 "2010-05-20T04:39:23Z")
I don’t hate the aliens in “Kingdom”, they are just something of little consequence stuck at the end" Shia LaBoeuf is more worth of contempt as something truly useless. But where “Raiders” had humor (pulling the gun in a sword fight, “I’m making it up as I go along” line, “Snakes…very dangerous-You go first” and “Crusade” had the Ford and Connery pairing, "Kingdom has two hours of frantic action that gets tiring quickly with some dialogue in between. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-the-aliens-in-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/539970.md?page=3)