# Why does everyone hate Yngwie Malmsteen? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 22, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-yngwie-malmsteen/327432 "2005-10-22T16:00:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![John\_F](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/43a26b/32.png) [@John\_F](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_F)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-yngwie-malmsteen/327432/21 "2005-10-22T21:22:57Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Folks like Yngwie and Steve Vai have, if anything, superior playing skills, but can’t compose their way out of a paper bag. I challenge. :eek: I’ve seen a few posts now that seem to lump Via into a “Malmsteen-ish” simply speed / technique style. Here are a few small audio clips (on quick time) that illustrate Steve Via is a much more complex player. These are not even clips I would pick as “best” examples just what I was able to find in a few min. of looking. [http://www.vai.com/audio/clip\_salamanders.mp3](http://www.vai.com/audio/clip_salamanders.mp3) [http://www.vai.com/audio/clip\_touchingtongues.mp3](http://www.vai.com/audio/clip_touchingtongues.mp3) [http://www.vai.com/audio/clip\_luckycharms.mp3](http://www.vai.com/audio/clip_luckycharms.mp3) ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-yngwie-malmsteen/327432/22 "2005-10-22T21:27:01Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Of course, you know he’s a serious musician when you see his custom axe: > > [http://www.edromanguitars.com/rock/Malmsteen/YM-Custom\_950.jpg](http://www.edromanguitars.com/rock/Malmsteen/YM-Custom_950.jpg) That’s an instrument? It looks more like a wall clock. It reminds me of the carved ship my grandmother had hanging on her living room wall. I got out of metal and into blues around 85, 86. I was impressed with Malmsteen for about 3 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-yngwie-malmsteen/327432/23 "2005-10-22T21:32:55Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Of course, you know he’s a serious musician when you see his custom axe: > > [http://www.edromanguitars.com/rock/Malmsteen/YM-Custom\_950.jpg](http://www.edromanguitars.com/rock/Malmsteen/YM-Custom_950.jpg) :eek: That’s one butt-ugly axe. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-yngwie-malmsteen/327432/24 "2005-10-22T22:15:34Z")
> [@Flipstrip](#): > > For an explanation, click[here:](http://www.biggerthanabreadbox.com/rants&rraves.htm) I’d heard the story, but the audio clip is fucking hilarious. So is “Yogi Milstein”. ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-yngwie-malmsteen/327432/25 "2005-10-22T23:35:08Z")
Yngwie J. Malmsteen is a pretentious, venomous bag of suck that is so foul that you can literally see the dog shit fumes coming off of him. His hatred of guitarists that are more talented than him is matched only by his resentment of most of his own fans. A backstage pass to a concert of his is a tedious and soul-crushing episode, like watching smoke from a book burning taint a cloudless sky. He’s a hack who learned how to play all the notes, but simply could not learn to play the music. Yngwie J. Malmsteen is to lifeless guitar playing what Bruce lee was to nunchucks. He is to hair spray and socks stuffed in leotards what Kato Kalin was to pull out couches. Oh, and his mother is a cum-slurping whore in Hell. How’s that for unleashing the fookin’ fury? ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-yngwie-malmsteen/327432/26 "2005-10-22T23:41:08Z")
> [@Euthanasiast](#): > > Yngwie J. Malmsteen is a pretentious, venomous bag of suck that is so foul that you can literally see the dog shit fumes coming off of him. His hatred of guitarists that are more talented than him is matched only by his resentment of most of his own fans. A backstage pass to a concert of his is a tedious and soul-crushing episode, like watching smoke from a book burning taint a cloudless sky. He’s a hack who learned how to play all the notes, but simply could not learn to play the music. > > Yngwie J. Malmsteen is to lifeless guitar playing what Bruce lee was to nunchucks. He is to hair spray and socks stuffed in leotards what Kato Kalin was to pull out couches. > > Oh, and his mother is a cum-slurping whore in Hell. > > How’s that for unleashing the fookin’ fury? And this is all coming from a fan. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-yngwie-malmsteen/327432/27 "2005-10-22T23:47:32Z")
> [@John F](#): > > I challenge. > > I’ve seen a few posts now that seem to lump Via into a “Malmsteen-ish” simply speed / technique style. > > Here are a few small audio clips (on quick time) that illustrate Steve Via is a much more complex player. These are not even clips I would pick as “best” examples just what I was able to find in a few min. of looking. > > [http://www.vai.com/audio/clip\_salamanders.mp3](http://www.vai.com/audio/clip_salamanders.mp3) > > [http://www.vai.com/audio/clip\_touchingtongues.mp3](http://www.vai.com/audio/clip_touchingtongues.mp3) > > [http://www.vai.com/audio/clip\_luckycharms.mp3](http://www.vai.com/audio/clip_luckycharms.mp3) #1 is really aimless both rhythmically and melodically. You can tell he’s in trouble when he resorts to a long wailing note and a key change to get out of it. #2 sounds like “Fantasia on Heart’s _These Dreams_” #3 shows something only slightly more interesting. It would make a good theme for the afternoon movie (not the movie itself, but the music the station plays at breaks). I might agree with you that Vai has a bit more emotion in his playing than Malmsteen, but he’s hardly ‘much more complex’. Probably technically inferior though; overall, much more _palatable_ but I feel I’m damning him with faint praise. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-yngwie-malmsteen/327432/28 "2005-10-23T01:32:57Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Rarely have I heard anyone so impressed with his own “genius.” That sums it up for me. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-yngwie-malmsteen/327432/29 "2005-10-23T06:32:32Z")
> [@Euthanasiast](#): > > Yngwie J. Malmsteen is to lifeless guitar playing what Bruce lee was to nunchucks. Hey, don’t drag Bruce Lee into this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-everyone-hate-yngwie-malmsteen/327432.md?page=1)