Why does perihelion and aphelion move around so irregularly?

I’m curious as to what these secular effects are … the three effects you’ve listed are eminently periodic …

The center-of-gravity of the Earth is irregular: volcanoes, earthquakes and the general fluid motion within the Earth … these would have some effect on the time of the apsides but only when we start looking at millions of years …

The key to dealing with tensors is to spray them with Round-up every two weeks during the growing season, this will kill about 90% of them so repeating the following year just about gets rid of them all …

Also important is to express your systems of partial differential equations in Cartesian coordinates using unit vectors … this prevents tensors from taking root in the first place …

I believe that’s right. We’re talking about the phases of the Moon, and the main contribution to the secular acceleration of the Moon’s longitude are the tides which are accelerating the Moon and slowing down the rotation of the Earth. Lesser terms result from the shapes of the Earth and Moon and from perturbations due to other planets.

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Yes, the Earth experiences precession of the equinoxes, and in addition the perihelion of the Earth’s orbit advances (apsidal precession). These effects add together and account for the date of perihelion advancing by 1.7 days per century.

The relevant lunar theory is called ELP 2000. Of course there are tens of thousands of terms, but at least you can go in there and explicitly see the polynomials expressing secular effects and see how much is due to the tides, how much to other planets, etc.

I meant secular effects on the phase of the Moon. It’s well-known it is not completely periodic, the biggest effect on its ecliptic longitude being the tides. They are actually accelerating the moon.

In principle the Earth could become tidally locked to the Moon, but supposedly the Sun will have exploded before then so I wouldn’t prematurely take it into account.

I suspect this also has something to do with our calendar not being a perfect match for the length of the year. A year has 365.2422 days. That’s inconvenient. We deal with it by adding an extra day every four years, but that’s not perfect.

Ha ha ha ha …

From the OP’s citation:

Emphasis mine

What’s wrong with this sentence?

It’s more than just that. The soltices and equinoxen change because of that, but they move in a very regular pattern. In non-leap years, they move almost 6 hours forward and then jump back almost 18 hours in leap years. There’s no pattern like that for the perihelion and aphelion.