# Why does semen sting the eyes **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 22, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680 "2010-09-22T18:51:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/41 "2010-09-23T16:43:07Z")
Picture of Seamen stinging an Eye: [http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3F\_adv\_prop%3Dimage%26va%3DFantastic%2BVoyage%2Bposter%26fr%3Dyfp-t-980&w=600&h=916&imgurl=filmsgraded.com%2Fposters%2F00%2F6%2F0%2F3%2F97a.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Ffilmsgraded.com%2Fposters%2F00%2F6%2F0%2F3%2F97.htm&size=128KB&name=posters+for+fant...&p=Fantastic+Voyage+poster&oid=59dce1ef0ef7cded8177ed807a4ea9d4&fr2=&no=4&tt=581&sigr=11eshuasa&sigi=118ott1hc&sigb=134k4t09p](http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3F_adv_prop%3Dimage%26va%3DFantastic%2BVoyage%2Bposter%26fr%3Dyfp-t-980&w=600&h=916&imgurl=filmsgraded.com%2Fposters%2F00%2F6%2F0%2F3%2F97a.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Ffilmsgraded.com%2Fposters%2F00%2F6%2F0%2F3%2F97.htm&size=128KB&name=posters+for+fant...&p=Fantastic+Voyage+poster&oid=59dce1ef0ef7cded8177ed807a4ea9d4&fr2=&no=4&tt=581&sigr=11eshuasa&sigi=118ott1hc&sigb=134k4t09p) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/42 "2010-09-23T16:54:02Z")
I’ve always wondered why so many pirates wear eyepatches. (get it–seamen). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/43 "2010-09-23T17:30:38Z")
Mine doesn’t. Would you like me to prove it to you? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/44 "2010-09-23T18:20:57Z")
Flying through the air it can collect particles of dust, micro-allergens and bird dander. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/45 "2010-09-23T23:42:19Z")
> [@The\_Controvert](#): > > Mine doesn’t. Would you like me to prove it to you? No, thanks. I’ve had a facial already today. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/46 "2010-09-24T00:05:00Z")
Sperm have little stingers, didntchaknow? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/47 "2010-09-24T01:18:35Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > > [@The\_Controvert](#): > > > > Mine doesn’t. Would you like me to prove it to you? > > No, thanks. I’ve had a facial already today. I must insist. I’ve really got the “no more tears” formulation. Hey, where are you running to?? ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/48 "2010-09-27T16:15:00Z")
> [@joemama24\_98](#): > > Just thought I’d note that the sequential thread to this one on the board just now was labelled "How do I get this stain off my driveway > > Gave me a nice laugh, which I need while working at 12:30 am. Nice segue, for sure. It is still funny at 12:30 pm., too. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/49 "2010-09-27T17:41:09Z")
> [@Dean Martin](#): > > When the semen hits your eye > or a big piece of pie > That’s Amore! [sub]_runs_[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![goodie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@goodie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goodie)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/50 "2010-09-27T19:13:00Z")
Any scientific experiment that involves a penis and a “control eye” is inherently awesome. ---
**Author:** ![BestWifeEver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/838e76/32.png) [@BestWifeEver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BestWifeEver)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/51 "2010-09-27T20:45:51Z")
I solved the problem by switching from contacts to glasses for bedroom activities. I get excellent eye protection and hubby gets hot librarian look! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/52 "2010-09-27T21:14:40Z")
> [@BestWifeEver](#): > > I solved the problem by switching from contacts to glasses for bedroom activities. I get excellent eye protection and hubby gets hot librarian look! 😃 And there’s the winning username/post combo of the day, folks! Perhaps even the year. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/53 "2010-09-27T23:41:13Z")
It takes a little while to sting because all the little spermies are expecting to hunt for an egg about the size of the dot at the end of this sentence. But then, when they land on the eyeball, they’re temporarily stunned by the gargantuan size of what they perceive to be the promised land. Then they all suddenly break from their stupor, let loose with a loud rebel yell, and get to getting down on your eyeball. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/54 "2010-09-28T17:39:57Z")
“Semen contains citric acid, free amino acids, fructose, enzymes, phosphorylcholine, prostaglandin, potassium, and zinc.” According to: [What Healthy Sperm Smells, Looks, and Tastes Like](http://menshealth.about.com/cs/stds/a/about_semen.htm) Several likely eye irritants in those ingredients, no? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/55 "2010-09-28T18:10:05Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > “Semen contains citric acid, free amino acids, fructose, enzymes, phosphorylcholine, prostaglandin, potassium, and zinc.” Ah, high fructose porn syrup. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/56 "2010-09-28T18:31:11Z")
“A little bit of sugar makes the girlfriend go down.” ---
**Author:** ![Amblydoper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Amblydoper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amblydoper)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/57 "2010-09-28T18:49:36Z")
> [@panman\_1960](#): > > This sounds lik a job for doper investigation. All we need is a willing subject and a shooter with a vasectomy. If it doesn’t sting after a while," VIOLA, eet iz not zee spermazoid burrowing into zee eyez!" Check post #32 ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/58 "2010-09-28T19:44:50Z")
My eyes! The goggles do nothing! ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/59 "2010-09-28T20:31:24Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > My eyes! The goggles do nothing! Rainier has a kink. ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/60 "2010-09-28T20:43:06Z")
Reminds me of a college experience. Maybe I should have rephrased that. :smack: My wife-to-be and I went to separate universaties but saw each other on the weekends. I got pink eye, and she (not surprisingly) got it too. She was going to a huge state university that was know for being, how should I put it, quite rambunctious. I was going to a tiny private university. We had very different experiences at our respective student health centers. My student health center. Me: I have pink eye. Dr: Yes you do. Here’s your prescription. Her student health center. Her: I have pink eye. Dr: Are you sure you didn’t just get something in it? Her: Yes. My boyfriend just got pink eye. Dr: Are you sure you didn’t get, “something” in it. Her: Yes. I’ve had pink eye before, I know what it’s like. I have it right now. Dr: Could you have, you know, gotten _something_ up in your eye? Her: Look, I know what you are getting at, and no. I have pink eye. Look at my eye; it’s puffy and pink, not watery and red. Dr: Are you sure? It’s OK if you got something in your eye. Etc. :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680.md?page=4)