# Why does semen sting the eyes **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 22, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680 "2010-09-22T18:51:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/61 "2010-09-28T21:11:14Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Opening your eyes in salt water doesn’t do the same thing so that is not it. Too true. Every time anyone ever opens their eyes, they open them in salt water, so it can’t really be that. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/62 "2010-09-29T12:32:03Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > The normal pH of semen and tears is the same range - 7.2-8.0. Actually, the Ph of normal eyes is 7.0 to 7.3. While normal semen may be 7.2 to 8. Urine is 6.o. > [@WhyNot](#): > > But that’s a pretty big range, so if you’re on the lower end of that and your partner the higher (assuming the semen in your eye isn’t yours), then yes, that could cause irritation. Not really a big range as far as Ph goes, both are just slightly alkaline and saline. Although, if your eyes are neutral at 7.0 and your partner is closer to 8.0 it may cause an initial stinging similar to water at a public pool or saltwater. > [@WhyNot](#): > > Surprisingly, semen’s not particularly saline, I was taught, but I can’t seem to find numbers on that right at the moment. Alternatively, I have heard that the food you eat can affect the properties of your semen. So if your gonna continue with the facials, lay off the Jalapenos! ---
**Author:** ![GiantRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@GiantRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GiantRat)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/63 "2010-09-29T20:22:15Z")
[snip] [quote=“Sparky812, post:62, topic:554680”] > [@WhyNot](#): > > So if your gonna continue with the facials, lay off the Jalapenos! This is why I’m no longer allowed to eat wasabi peas. It sucks, or she doesn’t. I’m not sure which one I love more (depending on which is more readily available). Damned if she can’t tell when I’ve been cheating on her with the peas, too… just imagine how ridiculous it is to get yelled at for gastronomic infidelity… yeesh. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/64 "2010-10-02T02:13:41Z")
I…am laughing my ass off. Thank you for threadspotting this! When I was younger, I was warned about the semen in the eye, but couldn’t figure out how the hell that would happen anyway. Sure enough, less than a month later, whammo! The image of the little zygotes burrowing into your eyeball does NOT help. It’s really amazing how much that hurts, how long it lasts, and how BAD it looks! I now am really curious as to what the hell is up with that, as I have always swum with my eyes open, have 20 years worth of makeup-in-the-eye experiences \ and nothing has ever hurt like that. Anyone asked Cecil? Anyone DARE? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Pandoranoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce73a5/32.png) [@Pandoranoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pandoranoid)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/65 "2010-10-06T16:58:57Z")
> [@Corner\_Case](#): > > > [@Dean Martin](#): > > > > When the semen hits your eye > > or a big piece of pie > > That’s Amore! > > [sub]_runs_[/sub] Unrelated to the topic but I’ll go nuts if I don’t priggishly point out that ‘a big piece of pie’ is not the right lyric. It’s ‘a big pizza pie’, innit? On topic: if semen is highly alkaline, does that mean it’s good for heartburn? [Please note that I do not have heartburn and therefor am not looking for someone to help me test this idea.] ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/66 "2010-10-06T17:32:24Z")
> [@Pandoranoid](#): > > > [@Corner\_Case](#): > > > > [sub]_runs_[/sub] > > Unrelated to the topic but I’ll go nuts if I don’t priggishly point out that ‘a big piece of pie’ is not the right lyric. It’s ‘a big pizza pie’, innit? > On topic: if semen is highly alkaline, does that mean it’s good for heartburn? [Please note that I do not have heartburn and therefor am not looking for someone to help me test this idea.] [sub]_{runs by…}_[/sub] Actually it’s “Like a big-a pizza pie”. [sub]_{runs by again…}_[/sub] However, if one is changing the first line, one must change the second line. If the first refers to semen, then the second should refer to another part of the anatomy - in this case, vulgarly referred to as a “piece” or as “piece of pie” [sub]_{…runs faster…}_[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/67 "2010-10-06T17:38:06Z")
I like pie. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/68 "2010-10-06T17:39:11Z")
> [@Corner\_Case](#): > > > [@Pandoranoid](#): > > > > Unrelated to the topic but I’ll go nuts if I don’t priggishly point out that ‘a big piece of pie’ is not the right lyric. It’s ‘a big pizza pie’, innit? > > On topic: if semen is highly alkaline, does that mean it’s good for heartburn? [Please note that I do not have heartburn and therefor am not looking for someone to help me test this idea.] > > [sub]_{runs by…}_[/sub] Actually it’s “Like a big-a pizza pie”. [sub]_{runs by again…}_[/sub] However, if one is changing the first line, one must change the second line. If the first refers to semen, then the second should refer to another part of the anatomy - in this case, vulgarly referred to as a “piece” or as “piece of pie” [sub]_{…runs faster…}_[/sub] In that case, shouldn’t it be, _When the semen hits your eye or a big creamy pie That’s Amore!_ ---
**Author:** ![rayxi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rayxi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayxi)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/69 "2010-10-06T19:16:30Z")
LMAO. Sounds like a question for Katie Morgan’s HBO show. ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/70 "2010-10-06T20:36:43Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > —snip— > That stuff stings initially but I don’t think it is the saline. The pain grows over time and it will cause your eye to get really red and swell. Great, now you have to come up with two cover stories one on top of another. Opening your eyes in salt water doesn’t do the same thing so that is not it. It is truly painful and long-lasting if you hit your pupil like a bullseye and, despite the skill involved, you don’t get a stuffed animal for it. > > I have my own theory on the **penonomenon** but I am not sure if it is right. > > Your semen are swimming hard and furiously to impregnate your own eye. They have some similar capabilities given their real purpose and try to burrow straight in. I would love to believe this isn’t true but it is the best I can come up with. Was that (bolding mine) on purpose? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/71 "2010-10-06T20:45:23Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > I…am laughing my ass off. Thank you for threadspotting this! > > When I was younger, I was warned about the semen in the eye, but couldn’t figure out how the hell that would happen anyway. > > Sure enough, less than a month later, whammo! > > The image of the little zygotes burrowing into your eyeball does NOT help. If you have a [zygote](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zygote) burrowing into your eyeball, things are even stranger than you thought (although it takes "ectopic pregnancy) to a whole new level). I suspect you may have meant [another](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamete) word. 😃 And indeed, [best username/post combo](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12961740#post12961740) in the history of the internets! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/72 "2010-10-06T20:56:13Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > If you have a [zygote](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zygote) burrowing into your eyeball, things are even stranger than you thought (although it takes "ectopic pregnancy) to a whole new level). That would be an ectoptic pregnancy. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/73 "2010-10-17T22:39:19Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Picture of Seamen stinging an Eye: > > [http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3F\_adv\_prop%3Dimage%26va%3DFantastic%2BVoyage%2Bposter%26fr%3Dyfp-t-980&w=600&h=916&imgurl=filmsgraded.com%2Fposters%2F00%2F6%2F0%2F3%2F97a.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Ffilmsgraded.com%2Fposters%2F00%2F6%2F0%2F3%2F97.htm&size=128KB&name=posters+for+fant...&p=Fantastic+Voyage+poster&oid=59dce1ef0ef7cded8177ed807a4ea9d4&fr2=&no=4&tt=581&sigr=11eshuasa&sigi=118ott1hc&sigb=134k4t09p](http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3F_adv_prop%3Dimage%26va%3DFantastic%2BVoyage%2Bposter%26fr%3Dyfp-t-980&w=600&h=916&imgurl=filmsgraded.com%2Fposters%2F00%2F6%2F0%2F3%2F97a.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Ffilmsgraded.com%2Fposters%2F00%2F6%2F0%2F3%2F97.htm&size=128KB&name=posters+for+fant...&p=Fantastic+Voyage+poster&oid=59dce1ef0ef7cded8177ed807a4ea9d4&fr2=&no=4&tt=581&sigr=11eshuasa&sigi=118ott1hc&sigb=134k4t09p) That’s hilarious, Cal. Reminds me of the old query: Why are camels called “ships of the desert?” 'cuz they are full of Arab seamen. ---
**Author:** ![falcotron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ab097/32.png) [@falcotron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/falcotron)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680/74 "2010-10-17T23:36:42Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > > [@Shagnasty](#): > > > > Opening your eyes in salt water doesn’t do the same thing so that is not it. > > Too true. Every time anyone ever opens their eyes, they open them in salt water, so it can’t really be that. [Andy, never put salt in your eyes!](http://chickens4life.buzznet.com/user/video/31942/kids-hall-never-put-salt/) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-semen-sting-the-eyes/554680.md?page=3)