# Why does sexual fetishism seem to manifest mostly in men? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 11, 2004, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-sexual-fetishism-seem-to-manifest-mostly-in-men/239508 "2004-04-11T23:12:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-sexual-fetishism-seem-to-manifest-mostly-in-men/239508/21 "2004-04-12T23:43:54Z")
If we insist upon the true definition of fetishism, where the person cannot achieve orgasm without the object of his or her fetish, maybe I ought to point out that due to bad communication and/or incompetent lovers, women don’t always orgasm during “normal” intercourse anyway. IANA… um, whatever the abbreviation for “sex expert” is … but I would guess that this makes it more difficult to distinguish between a woman who has simply had unsatisfactory experiences and one who lacks that certain Something in her sexual adventures. Is it possible that some women themselves don’t realize they have a fetish? ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-sexual-fetishism-seem-to-manifest-mostly-in-men/239508/22 "2004-04-13T01:01:04Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > Like it is for men? > If I was in conversation with my friends about beating off while hanging from a noose with a dildo up my ass\*, I would be killed. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! \*This fucking place is killin’ me!!! \* 😃 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-sexual-fetishism-seem-to-manifest-mostly-in-men/239508/23 "2004-04-13T01:31:26Z")
One other point that hasn’t been addressed, but that **Qagdop** kind of indirectly mentions above (post #7? the numbers aren’t visible on this screen) – men in general are much more visually oriented with regard to sexual cues, and are thus more likely to produce and consume porn in the form of magazines, videos, etc. – so there’s more “product” out there than there is for women. ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-sexual-fetishism-seem-to-manifest-mostly-in-men/239508/24 "2004-04-13T04:17:12Z")
WAG: It may be because women who need to feel sexually controlled or need to “act out” have other outlets for it: prostitution, stripping, and porn. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-sexual-fetishism-seem-to-manifest-mostly-in-men/239508/25 "2004-04-13T04:33:32Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > Like it is for men? > > If I was in conversation with my friends about beating off while hanging from a noose with a dildo up my ass\*, I would be killed. Believe me. If you’re a women, you’d be considered freaky. If you’re a man, you’re a freak and should die. Well, anything having to do with being penetrated and yes, guys would flip out. I still know a lot more about my guy friends’ sexual kinks than about my female friends’ – I just find that guys tend to be more upfront about things that they like in a general sense. ---
**Author:** ![Mathochist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c89c15/32.png) [@Mathochist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mathochist)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-sexual-fetishism-seem-to-manifest-mostly-in-men/239508/26 "2004-04-13T05:54:07Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > Well, anything having to do with being penetrated and yes, guys would flip out. I still know a lot more about my guy friends’ sexual kinks than about my female friends’ – I just find that guys tend to be more upfront about things that they like in a general sense. Indeed. If **ParentalAdvisory** told his friends he’s got a thing for redheads to the point he can’t get it on without at least one of the girls being a redhead, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-sexual-fetishism-seem-to-manifest-mostly-in-men/239508.md?page=1)