# Why does Tarzan wear a loincloth? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 7, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560 "2005-09-07T18:54:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/1 "2005-09-07T18:54:49Z")
What gives? Why would the apes make one for him if they didn’t wear 'em themselves? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/2 "2005-09-07T18:58:25Z")
A) He is afraid he can’t match monkey dick. b) He is Jewish and doesn’t want anyone to know. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/3 "2005-09-07T18:59:17Z")
Because, even for an almost-Victorian era fantasy with nearly nude people, _some_ decorum must be preserved. IIRC, in the books Tarzan doesn’t start wearing a loincloth until he’;s older and sees other human beings wearing stuff around their middles. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/4 "2005-09-07T19:08:00Z")
With all that vine-swinging I don’t reckon you have to fly through too many bushes before you realize that certain non-retractable elements are more prone to snags than others. It would be an invention of necessity in fairly short order. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/5 "2005-09-07T19:16:18Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > b) He is Jewish and doesn’t want anyone to know. Anyone see the movie “Europa Europa”? ::shudder:: ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/6 "2005-09-07T19:19:34Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > Anyone see the movie “Europa Europa”? ::shudder:: That was based on a true story. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/7 "2005-09-07T19:23:11Z")
He don’t want cheetah swinging on _that_ vine? ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/8 "2005-09-07T22:14:35Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > With all that vine-swinging I don’t reckon you have to fly through too many bushes before you realize that certain non-retractable elements are more prone to **snags** than others. It would be an invention of necessity in fairly short order. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the corner, in the fetal position. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/9 "2005-09-07T22:25:38Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > A) He is afraid he can’t match monkey dick. Actually, more likely, he didn’t want to make the monkeys insecure 🙂 . (Wise move, there’s nothing more dangerous than a sexually humiliated chimp. Er…or so I’m told!) I would think it was for the same reason humans did to begin with; the combination of walkng upright and being the best hung primate makes it rather…vunerable. So, yes, probably a good idea to tie that thing down (quite apart for Victorian sensibilites). ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/10 "2005-09-07T22:40:32Z")
He started wearing a loincloth out of shame after Jane laughed at his penis for not being prehensile. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/11 "2005-09-07T22:58:51Z")
Going back to the original source, Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs, published in 1914, we find the answer. (at least I hope we do, I’m doing this from memory.) Tarzan learned to read by studying the picture books left behind in the cabin of his parents. In those books, pictures displayed men being clothed, and apes being naked. Tarzan also noted that the natives in his vicinity were also clothed. So when he decided to make a point of being a man, not an ape, he adopted a loincloth. Had there been a tailor there from Savile Row, perhaps he would have adopted a more elaborate outfit. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/12 "2005-09-07T23:17:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Because, even for an almost-Victorian era fantasy with nearly nude people, some decorum must be preserved. I don’t think that was it… In the Barsoom novels, also by Burroughs, all men wear is enough of a harness to hang a sword from, and women just enough to accessorize their womanly bits. Clearly he was no prude about nudity. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/13 "2005-09-07T23:23:07Z")
Me Czarcasm. You thread in wrong forum. Me move thread to Cafe Society. Jane look damn sweet in loincloth, woo hoo! ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/14 "2005-09-07T23:33:36Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > With all that vine-swinging I don’t reckon you have to fly through too many bushes before you realize that certain non-retractable elements are more prone to snags than others. It would be an invention of necessity in fairly short order. Yes, but the loincloth just hung in front of Tarzan’s crotch. It didn’t contain his package as would a jockstrap. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/15 "2005-09-07T23:36:06Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I don’t think that was it… In the Barsoom novels, also by Burroughs, all men wear is enough of a harness to hang a sword from, and women just enough to accessorize their womanly bits. Clearly he was no prude about nudity. What is the difference between bosoms and BARSOOMS! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/16 "2005-09-08T00:36:01Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > What is the difference between bosoms and BARSOOMS! A pitcher of cheap beer? ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/17 "2005-09-08T00:47:35Z")
Yep, I also read Bar rooms insead of Barsooms. But I’ve go a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/18 "2005-09-08T00:50:08Z")
> [@Jake](#): > > Yep, I also read Bar rooms insead of Barsooms. But I’ve go a problem. I see you’ve started early. No prob-next one’s on me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/19 "2005-09-08T02:45:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Quote: > Because, even for an almost-Victorian era fantasy with nearly nude people, some decorum must be preserved. > I don’t think that was it… In the Barsoom novels, also by Burroughs, all men wear is enough of a harness to hang a sword from, and women just enough to accessorize their womanly bits. Clearly he was no prude about nudity. > > * * * I don’t think so – Even when only festooned with jewels, the women have their womanly bits covered. That’s the wa it is in Burroughs’ own sketches and those he approved (that I’ve seen), and certainly in just about all depictions I’ve seen (until very recently). ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560/20 "2005-09-08T04:18:25Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Actually, more likely, he didn’t want to make the monkeys insecure 🙂 . (Wise move, there’s nothing more dangerous than a sexually humiliated chimp. Er…or so I’m told!) Yes, thank you. Human penises are bigger than those of any other ape. Even though gorillas are like twice the size of us, their dicks are something like an inch and a half long. Jared Diamond’s interesting book _The Third Chimpanzee_ illustrates the comparative size of primates’ meat-and-two-veg with an immensely amusing (to me) diagram using the “male” symbol’s circumferance and arrow length. Something like this: ```auto _ _ /| /| / ------ --- _ / \ / \ /| | | | | / \ | | \ / \ / \ / --- ------ Human Gorilla Chimp ``` Chimps beat us in ball size, but humans totally beat everyone else when it comes to dick. Incidentally, I think I must be the biggest dork in the world to actually go to the trouble of making an ASCII-art rendition. Enjoy! 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-tarzan-wear-a-loincloth/320560.md?page=2)