# Why does the SDMB condone cyber bullying? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [March 21, 2015, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576 "2015-03-21T07:28:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/81 "2015-03-23T05:21:39Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > Well I think this is a matter of semantics. I think insults are bullying. I’ve posted this opinion 4 or 5 times now and haven’t really gotten a direct response. Perhaps this is the last time I need to mention it. And I think 99% of the time when anyone over the age of the age of 18, claims to be a victim of “cyber bullying” needs to grow up and get over themselves. It’s different when you’re a kid. When people cyber bully you on Facebook, those are done by people you know. You have to interact with these people at school in a very real way. Here, if people are “Bullying” you, all you have to do is not click on the thread. Gee, I sure bet teenagers who really ARE victims of cyber bullying would love to have the “No click” option to avoid their very real and very painful bullying. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/82 "2015-03-23T05:26:13Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > Everywhere else but the PIT is very well monitored for a no insults allowed policy. But to say that SDMB does not allow cyber bullying, when you have a whole section set up where people trade insults like two boxers in a ring… It was DrDeth who stated that there was cyber-bullying outside of the pit. I think DrDeth can speak for themselves on this matter. > [@](#): > > Well I think this is a matter of semantics. I think insults are bullying. I’ve posted this opinion 4 or 5 times now and haven’t really gotten a direct response. Perhaps this is the last time I need to mention it. I believe you have. You don’t get to create definitions for words that have meanings already. And besides, Broomstick stated the (unbelievable) “facts” that are in dispute in the first place. When asked about them she doubled down. If they were josh-y parables she had time to get out from under them. Let me ask you a question, if I tell someone in all sincerity that I have been to the moon and someone tells me I’m full of shit, would you consider that bullying? The thing you are missing out on is that her stories are just not believable. Another question, do you yourself believe Broomsticks femur breaking story? ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/83 "2015-03-23T05:27:25Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > I’ve posted this opinion 4 or 5 times now and haven’t really gotten a direct response. There’s a very good reason for that: your opinion is ill-informed, as you don’t seem to understand the meaning of the term _cyber bullying_. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/84 "2015-03-23T05:28:25Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > And I think 99% of the time when anyone over the age of the age of 18, claims to be a victim of “cyber bullying” needs to grow up and get over themselves. > > It’s different when you’re a kid. When people cyber bully you on Facebook, those are done by people you know. You have to interact with these people at school in a very real way. > > Here, if people are “Bullying” you, all you have to do is not click on the thread. > > Gee, I sure bet teenagers who really ARE victims of cyber bullying would love to have the “No click” option to avoid their very real and very painful bullying. You know, upon reflection… I was thinking it over and I kind of came to the conclusion that implicit in the term bullying is teenagers/kids. I think you put my thoughts into more concrete terms. I guess an adult or group of adults could bully someone at the workplace… but that is not the case here, and, as you say, you can either put people on ignore or simply avoid the PITT or avoid certain threads on the PITT. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/85 "2015-03-23T05:33:31Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > It was DrDeth who stated that there was cyber-bullying outside of the pit. I think DrDeth can speak for themselves on this matter. > I believe you have. You don’t get to create definitions for words that have meanings already. > > And besides, Broomstick stated the (unbelievable) “facts” that are in dispute in the first place. When asked about them she doubled down. If they were josh-y parables she had time to get out from under them. Let me ask you a question, if I tell someone in all sincerity that I have been to the moon and someone tells me I’m full of shit, would you consider that bullying? The thing you are missing out on is that her stories are just not believable. > > Another question, do you yourself believe Broomsticks femur breaking story? She probably does deserve it!!! But me asking for a bit ore civility is not inventing my own terms. Haggling over definitions is a poor indicator of the sate of affairs in any conversation. > [@splatterpunk](#): > > There’s a very good reason for that: your opinion is ill-informed, as you don’t seem to understand the meaning of the term _cyber bullying_. My desire to broaden the civil dialogue does not mean I don’t understand the terms we are using. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/86 "2015-03-23T05:38:40Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/87 "2015-03-23T05:41:10Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > I ask again, do you yourself believe Broomsticks femur breaking story? Oh, sorry… I am not familiar with the details but from what I have read on this thread I would have to say I do not find her stories to be credible. I have very little doubt that she is either exaggerating greatly or outright lying for attention. ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/88 "2015-03-23T05:43:20Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > Haggling over definitions is a poor indicator of the sate of affairs in any conversation. This makes no sense whatsoever. > [@](#): > > My desire to broaden the civil dialogue does not mean I don’t understand the terms we are using. You are not trying to “broaden the civil dialogue” (whatever that means); you are attempting to impose your own narrow definition of a broadly understood term (cyber bullying) on the rest of us. Hint: it ain’t working. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/89 "2015-03-23T05:48:36Z")
> [@splatterpunk](#): > > This makes no sense whatsoever. > > You are not trying to “broaden the civil dialogue” (whatever that means); you are attempting to impose your own narrow definition of a broadly understood term (cyber bullying) on the rest of us. Hint: it ain’t working. No, actually, my position is that some of the insults on the BBQPITT get taken too far and that it would be nice if people were more civil. I feel there really is nothing left for me to say on this topic, because, as you say, my appeal for people to be more civil ain’t working. ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/90 "2015-03-23T06:01:36Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > I feel there really is nothing left for me to say on this topic, because, as you say, my appeal for people to be more civil ain’t working. That’s not at all what I said, but you know that. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/91 "2015-03-23T06:08:10Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > Um, how do you know there are people speaking up for you, if you haven’t read the thread? 😕 Because she has totally read the thread? As well as the “other board” which she seems to magically know there is a discussion about her, but she hasn’t read it either. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/92 "2015-03-23T06:10:16Z")
> [@splatterpunk](#): > > That’s not at all what I said, but you know that. If I have overreacted to your comments, I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/93 "2015-03-23T06:42:18Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > No, actually, my position is that some of the insults on the BBQPITT get taken too far and that it would be nice if people were more civil. I feel there really is nothing left for me to say on this topic, because, as you say, my appeal for people to be more civil ain’t working. Because the Pit is not meant to be a place to be “civil”, or “nice”. It’s a place to argue, bitch and yes, flame others. If you have a problem with that, perhaps you need to stay out of there. (BTW, it used to be a LOT worse than it is now) You ever heard the phrase, “there’s no such thing as a right NOT to be offended?” Well, that would be the case here. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/94 "2015-03-23T10:49:42Z")
I can’t help but be reminded of an article I read the other day (can’t find the link) about how a college was holding a forum on rape. Some felt “under attack” by the thought of having to hear opinions on rape that differed from their own and so set up a “safe space” with beanbag chairs and, literally, fluffy puppies. Perhaps we could set up a hug-intensive anti-BBQ Pit for those who find “being disagreed with” so mentally harmful. Oh, wait…that’s MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/95 "2015-03-23T11:37:46Z")
**why does the SDMB condone white knighting?** /hijack ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/96 "2015-03-23T11:48:53Z")
> [@splatterpunk](#): > > FFS, _punishment_? Could you possibly be more melodramatic? Could you possibly read for comprehension? My post was a response to the DrDeth post directly above mine. HE said “I have not heard that opinion- **I have heard that either she deserves it "for being a liar** ’ or that their behavior is not cyber-bullying.” [emphasis added]. IF a group of posters have taken it upon themselves to punish another poster for what they believe is lying then yes, they HAVE appointed them judge and jury and executioner of sentence. I have NOT named any particular posters as actually doing this. In fact, that would be a form of moderating, which no one outside of moderators is supposed to be doing on this forum - but as well all know the moderators here can be slow to act and don’t always make the decisions people would like them to. > [@](#): > > The thread in question is nothing more than criticism from other posters who don’t believe some of the stories you tell here. And I’ve stated more than once I’m quite happy they’re all camping out in one thread instead of threadshitting all over the Dope. > [@](#): > > You are not being bullied or persecuted or punished. I never said I was - _DrDeth_ brought up that possibility, not me. Again, please try to keep straight who is saying what. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/97 "2015-03-23T12:03:30Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > Because it’s consensual. People are aware, presumably, that there is a board called The Pit and any post or poster may end up there. The Pit has rules and standards that are discoverable. Anyone who doesn’t consent to ending up in the Pit can completely avoid that eventuality by not posting at SDMB. Not true. Plenty of threads in the Pit are about people who have never posted at the SDMB. In fact, the majority of them fall into that category. > [@splatterpunk](#): > > This is not Facebook, where we use our real names and interact with people we know IRL. No one on this board knows who you are or where you live. Insulting your username on this board is not cyber bullying. I have, however, at times been asked to post “proof” that would have in fact revealed my name, date of birth, where I live, and other personal information, as have other people. Something that is actually against the rules here. I wish people would get called on that more, because that can lead to actual real world consequences if it occurs. > [@PlainJain](#): > > Broomstick, I’m re-posting this because I feel the same way. I’m not to look it up but there was a post of yours that read (something to the effect of)… Let me get this straight - YOU, who are _constantly_ demanding CITE! from other people, can’t be bothered to look up a post? Really? OK, back at ya - CITE! C’mon - link to the _exact post_ where I said _exactly that_. Otherwise, it’s just another example of people distorting what I have actually said. > [@](#): > > ‘People in wheelchairs are treated in such and such fashion and my spouse is disabled too’. I got the impression he was also in a wheelchair. I feel confident that anyone who conflated those two ideas were not purposely spreading ‘lies’ about you. AND I HAVE SAID, _more than once_, that I do err on the side of doubt and _politely_ correct any mistaken impressions that do occur. Unless you have a CITE! where I have done otherwise? > [@](#): > > FTR, I don’t dislike you but I do think _your posts_ paint you as a drama queen and an embellisher of the truth. FTR, I don’t believe that statement. > [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Because she has totally read the thread? As well as the “other board” which she seems to magically know there is a discussion about her, but she hasn’t read it either. This may shock you, but I do have friends who have told me about those other discussions, in one or two cases sending me links. What, you think I’m sitting here in some sort of isolation? I have PM’s and e-mail, too, you know. Really, I’m not as vain as you think I am. Also, I have this _dreadful_ compulsion to post in threads I read… if I’m not posting, it’s a pretty safe bet I’m not reading. How did you think I got to 20,000+ posts here, after all? I mainly found out about the “other board” when I did a Google search to attempt to find out what happened to the poster known as **I Have Hippos In My Garden** , whereupon I found some of the self-righteous congratulating themselves on having outed **umkay** , how good it felt, and maybe they could continue the crusade to expose other posters as frauds. I’d post a link, but I’m really not sure how the mods would take that, or if it would be constructive. I have, however, given anyone enough information to do such a search themselves if they care to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/98 "2015-03-23T12:47:36Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > Oh, sorry… I am not familiar with the details but from what I have read on this thread I would have to say I do not find her stories to be credible. I have very little doubt that she is either exaggerating greatly or outright lying for attention. I’m not sure what you’re complaining about. What you’ve written here is essentially just what people have written in the pit thread. (It is pit by the way, not Pitt. It has nothing to do with William, or Brad, or the 'burgh.) If there are worse insults in the pit thread than what you wrote here, they are atypical and are far and away the exception rather than the rule. Hypocrite. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/99 "2015-03-23T13:17:59Z")
> [@FXMastermind](#): > > Mods are the worst when it comes to being a jerk. Anybody else you can pit them, but Mods, you say anything and they gang up on you. I’m sick of this modal swarming! ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576/100 "2015-03-23T13:18:08Z")
Okay, after a modestly quick skim, I found no insults in that thread greater that “liar/lying”, and no discussion of any other aspects of her character. Nobody has written that they do not like her, and nobody has insulted her (again, outside of the issue of her dishonesty). If there is any example to the contrary, please provide it. So, the cyberbulling, meanness, and “executioner” stuff seems to me reflective of a dramatic overreaction. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-the-sdmb-condone-cyber-bullying/715576.md?page=6)