# Why doesn't CNN cover the REAL news? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 26, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641 "2002-08-26T16:11:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/1 "2002-08-26T16:11:35Z")
So I’m at the drugstore; and while I’m checking out I notice the headline on the _Weekly World News_: WORLD’S FATTEST TWINS ARRESTED FOR STEALING WORLD’S FATTEST CAT! I don’t have time to read it, so when I get home I go online and check with CNN. “Reliable” CNN; “legitimate news source” CNN. And what do I find? Not a goddamned word! Is the cat okay? Were the twins riding little motorbikes? I don’t know – because Mr. High-and-Mighty Wolf Blitzer can’t be bothered. Hey, CNN – thanks for nothing! Assholes. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/2 "2002-08-26T16:27:36Z")
Heh heh heh, probably had the WORLD’S SLOWEST GETAWAY! Oy. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/3 "2002-08-26T16:27:36Z")
😛 ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/4 "2002-08-26T16:34:45Z")
Well, it at least appears that the Al-quaeda video series is over. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/5 "2002-08-26T16:59:52Z")
they also failed to report on these breaking news items: Man parks illegally in front of _Krogers_ store (rat bastid, I had to drive around him). Woman takes 13 items through ‘12 items and under lane’ _claims to suffer from ADD/ADHD_’ Motorists on West Saginaw highway fail to yeild properly when faced with ‘lane ending, merge right’ signs! ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/6 "2002-08-26T17:22:00Z")
I give CNN credit for giving significant attention to the OZ teleportation experiements, whilst USA Today and the WSJ apparently missed the stories completely for a few days… ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/7 "2002-08-26T17:28:11Z")
Have I not looked hard enough, or does [FOXnews.com](http://FOXnews.com) really not have a science section? No, the “junk science” section doesn’t count. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/8 "2002-08-26T18:11:12Z")
Geesh. Demanding, aincha? ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/9 "2002-08-26T18:22:44Z")
I just picked up that issue. I saw the headline and thought, “Fattest twins? Eh …” then I read the part about the cat and I was sold. FTR, they were arrested for _attempting_ to steal the cat. The cat is fine. There’s even a centerfold of the cat, which I like to look at when my friends are around and say, “Man, that’s one impressive pussy!” In other news, Jimmy Hoffa’s shrunken head was found in Florida (where else?) and the Holy Grail is to be auctioned off on the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2002, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/10 "2002-08-27T00:13:03Z")
Well, as of this morning, they were too busy gabbing about who was kicked off _American Idol_. I wish I were joking. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2002, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/11 "2002-08-27T06:18:54Z")
Because real news would confuse Anderson Cooper? Because Connie Chung is too busy doing whatever she does on that fluffy show of hers? Because it might provoke another Larry King heart attack? Because they’re waiting for James Carville to shed his skin on-air? Because they blew the correspondent travel budget on Tucker Carlson’s necktie armada? Because a dedicated team of scientists is trying to calculate just **how** Arthel Neville has a career? Because they’re too busy trying to keep Judy Wooduff and Deborah Feyrick from being in the same room together, realizing they are in fact the same person, and destroying the space/time continuum? Because they have too keep starting wars around the world for Christianne Armanpour to cover, or she will stare us all in to oblivion with those unholy, unblinking eyes of hers? Because they must cover up Wolf Blitzer’s hidden pastlife as the lost Allman brother? Because “Real Journalism. Fair and Balanced.” is the domain of Fox News, since they keep telling us so? Because they have to keep laquering Daryn Kagen’s hair in place? ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2002, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/12 "2002-08-27T07:46:31Z")
It would appear that discussion of the world’s fattest cat is not part of Ted “Mr. Jane Fonda” Turner’s liberal agenda. By the way, did anyone catch the story in the WWN about housewives that actually get off on looking at plumbers’ buttcracks, to the point where they spend thousands of dollars on repairs they don’t need, just so the plumber will keep coming back? I bet CNN never bothers to report on that one, either. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2002, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/13 "2002-08-27T12:32:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Because “Real Journalism. Fair and Balanced.” is the domain of Fox News, since they keep telling us so? I think everyone, including most of the Fox executives, snicker hardily, everytime that stupid catchprase is uttered. Can you imagine the meeting where the new phrase is introduced by their Ad agency. "Its ‘Real Journalism. Fair and Balanced’ " Everyone laughs, then realizes the ad dorks are serious. “Guys— have you even **watched** our network?” Fair and Balanced-- _right . . . ._ :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2002, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/14 "2002-08-27T12:37:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bob Scene \* > \*\*It would appear that discussion of the world’s fattest cat is not part of Ted “Mr. Jane Fonda” Turner’s liberal agenda. \*\* I thought he got bought out from CNN… wasn’t he ousted when AOL Time Warner bought it? ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2002, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/15 "2002-08-27T15:39:53Z")
Hrrm you’re suprised that CNN sucks? The same CNN owned by, “Hey Witchblade is a high quality, thought provoking tv show” Ted Turner? Last night marked the second episode of Witchblade I’ve every watched. I’m going to try to sue to get those two hours of my life back ☹ ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/16 "2002-08-27T16:26:35Z")
“We report you decide!” I’ve decided to get my news from the BBC, its least they have a modicum of respectability. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2002, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-cnn-cover-the-real-news/125641/17 "2002-08-27T22:44:09Z")
Come to think of it, CNN would be more likely to profile the world’s fattest cat than to present really accurate science news. Almost every story I’ve seen in their website relating to astronomy or space travel has its numbers wrong, sometimes by orders of magnitude.