# Why doesn't Donald Duck wear pants? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 4, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041 "2009-12-04T23:19:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sparrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Sparrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparrow)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/41 "2009-12-17T11:57:48Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > And how can Goofy, a dog, have a pet Pluto, also a dog? > > It’s madness people! Is Goofy a dog? I was never sure what he was. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/42 "2009-12-17T19:13:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by \*\*AskNott \*\*Ducks, like all birds, have internal naughty bits. The only time we can see them through the feathers is for a brief moment during mating. The cloaca in the male and female everts, and sperm cells are transferred. > [@Jolly Roger](#): > > Thats more than I needed to know about Donald Duck. > [@runcible\_spoon](#): > > I feel compelled to point out that many species of ducks do, indeed, have phalluses. Granted, they’re retractable, and they lose them and regrow them every year, so at any given time Donald may not have an external phallus. But the possibility exists. I stand corrected. That is TRULY more than I need to know about Donald duck, or Ducks in general. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/43 "2009-12-17T19:22:00Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > Except for the gloves. Bugs always wears gloves. Nevermind “What’s Up Doc?”, what’s up with the gloves? White gloves on animated characters are there so you can see them more easily, particularly when the hands are in front of the body. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/44 "2009-12-18T00:31:58Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Mine don’t, due to my two X chromosomes. I don’t have to wear pants? Not in a cartoon, doll. Not in a cartoon. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/45 "2009-12-18T00:40:25Z")
They’ve caught up with [Ziggy](http://www.gocomics.com/ziggy/2009/12/17/). (Will he never win?) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/46 "2009-12-18T00:48:14Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > They’ve caught up with [Ziggy](http://www.gocomics.com/ziggy/2009/12/17/). > > (Will he never win?) Heh…it’s even funnier if you’ve been reading Pearls Before Swine the last week or so. ---
**Author:** ![Xotan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/278dde/32.png) [@Xotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xotan)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/47 "2009-12-18T16:42:00Z")
I assume that most contributors to this folderol are adults and Americans. So some questions: What does your turkey wear in the store when hanging up for purchase as Thanksgiving approaches? What does it wear when you cook it and bring it to table? Are Americans turned on by animals that don’t wear clothes? Don’t bother answering. I already know. None of these are, or should be sexual situations. Besides, normal humans are not turned on by animals or anthropomorphized animals. We are, goddammit, talking about cartoons here. Even the greatest pervert among us is unlikely to get turned on by, or to have sex, hetero or homo, with a duck, let alone a cartoon duck. So what the hell is all this about? Or have people lost all sense of propriety? I go to my nearest beach in summer. As it happens it’s a naturist one. There men, women and children go totally naked. It is the most unsexual place in my experience. There are no erections, false modesty, lewd glances, no awareness of nudity: people actually are enjoying a freedom that is innocent and free from shame or blame. So I should worry about a cartoon duck? So anyone should? I think such a worry would be unhealthy. Actually, my worry is that nobody is worried about Donald DUCK. So, is Donald a transvestite, a lesbian, as gay, an hermaphrodite or what? And is he a big disappointment to Mr and Mrs Drake, his parents? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/48 "2009-12-18T17:18:40Z")
> [@Xotan](#): > > I assume that most contributors to this folderol are adults and Americans. So some questions: What does your turkey wear in the store when hanging up for purchase as Thanksgiving approaches? What does it wear when you cook it and bring it to table? Are Americans turned on by animals that don’t wear clothes? > > Don’t bother answering. I already know. None of these are, or should be sexual situations. Besides, normal humans are not turned on by animals or anthropomorphized animals. We are, goddammit, talking about cartoons here. Even the greatest pervert among us is unlikely to get turned on by, or to have sex, hetero or homo, with a duck, let alone a cartoon duck. So what the hell is all this about? Or have people lost all sense of propriety? I take it you have not encountered “furries”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/49 "2009-12-18T17:21:00Z")
Also try a Google image search for Donald Duck and Christina Aguilera with SafeSearch off. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/50 "2009-12-18T17:31:04Z")
> [@Xotan](#): > > I assume that most contributors to this folderol are adults and Americans. Adults and Americans with a sense of humor, mostly. > [@](#): > > So some questions: What does your turkey wear in the store when hanging up for purchase as Thanksgiving approaches? What does it wear when you cook it and bring it to table? Nothing. But if it wore a sailor’s shirt and hat, it might not be unreasonable to ask why, followed by “Where are its pants?” > [@](#): > > Are Americans turned on by animals that don’t wear clothes? I’m sure some are. You’re on the Internet. Look around. > [@](#): > > Don’t bother answering. I already know. Now you tell me. > [@](#): > > So I should worry about a cartoon duck? So anyone should? I think such a worry would be unhealthy. Yes, it would be. If you encounter anyone who is seriously worried about a cartoon duck, you should try to help them. > [@](#): > > Actually, my worry is that nobody is worried about Donald DUCK. So, is Donald a transvestite, a lesbian, as gay, an hermaphrodite or what? No, he’s a male [duck](http://m-w.com/dictionary/duck). ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/51 "2009-12-18T17:31:39Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Porky pig doesn’t wear pants either. Nor do Petunia and **Cicero**. I knew the ancient Greeks were sexually adventurous, but not THAT adventurous! > [@runcible\_spoon](#): > > I feel compelled to point out that many species of ducks do, indeed, have phalluses. Granted, they’re retractable, and they lose them and regrow them every year, so at any given time Donald may not have an external phallus. But the possibility exists. > > Also, a species of duck possesses the largest known avian phallus. 42.5 cm. [Cite](http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/enviro/EnviroRepublish_366856.htm)(warning: graphic duck penis). God, I feel dirty now. Ok I feel inadequate next to that duck… :(⭕eek: ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/52 "2009-12-18T22:55:04Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > I knew the ancient Greeks were sexually adventurous, but not THAT adventurous! Romans. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041/53 "2009-12-21T13:36:24Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Ok I feel inadequate next to that duck… :(⭕eek: OK, that made me think of a joke I heard a long time ago. It has nothing to do with ducks, unfortunately. A guy walks into a bar and theres a donkey with a sign around its neck that reads **“Win $500 if you can make this Donkey laugh”**. The guy tells the bartender he can do it, and whispers in the donkey’s ear. The donkey then falls to the floor laughing uncontrollably. Grudgingly the bartender pays up. The next day the guy walks back in the bar. Now the sign around the Donkey’s neck says \*_"Win $500 if you can make this Donkey Cry_". \*The guy tells the bartender he’ll take the challenge, and walks the donkey in the bathroom. A few minutes later he and the donkey come back to the bartender and the donkey is crying like a baby. The bartender pays the guys again but asks “How did you do that? No one has made the donkey laugh or cry before!” The guy tells him “Yesterday I told him I had a bigger dick than he did. Today I \*\*showed \*\*him.” Ok, stupid joke… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-donald-duck-wear-pants/520041.md?page=2)