# Why Doesn't Gandalf's Sword Glow in The Mines of Moria?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-gandalfs-sword-glow-in-the-mines-of-moria/487900>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [March 1, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-gandalfs-sword-glow-in-the-mines-of-moria/487900 "2009-03-01T19:06:54Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\
**Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-gandalfs-sword-glow-in-the-mines-of-moria/487900/61 "2009-03-03T23:53:38Z")

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> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> . . . movie-Aragorn was a wanker, an idiot, a blind fool who was unable to appreciate the blessings available to him, a wanker\*, a cad who BROKE POOR EOWYN’S HEART AFTER LEADING HER ON, a pervy-hobbit fancier who only made it to the throne of Gondor because he had Gandalf greasing the weels for him, and a wanker.\*\*

And he has a quacky monotone of a voice. After listening to the melodious, perfectly-pitched deliveries of the classically trained actors like Ian Holm, Ian McKellen and Bernard Hill, it becomes even more painfully apparent. To me, he sounded kind of pitiful during his “inspirational battle speech” to the troops in front of the Black Gate.

But he did do well as a ferocious soldier.

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**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\
**Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-gandalfs-sword-glow-in-the-mines-of-moria/487900/62 "2009-03-04T00:08:38Z")

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> [@teela\_brown](#):
>
> And he has a quacky monotone of a voice. After listening to the melodious, perfectly-pitched deliveries of the classically trained actors like Ian Holm, Ian McKellen and Bernard Hill, it becomes even more painfully apparent. To me, he sounded kind of pitiful during his “inspirational battle speech” to the troops in front of the Black Gate.
> 
> But he did do well as a ferocious soldier.

I’m pretty sure I’ve made this complaint before, but Aragorn’s speech at the Black Gate is completely undercut by Theoden’s far more muscular, vibrant, and overall kinglier one at Pelennor. I mean, both speeches communicate pretty much the same damn sentiment: _What I am about to order you to do is almost certain to get us all killed. But we have to do it anyway. To demonstrate how necessary it is, I myself shall go first and probably die early on. You want to go home, do it, and forever be known as a wanker._

But of course, Bernard Hill had the advantage of reading the Perfesser’s words, not Phillipa Boyens. And Viggo Mortenson has the disadvantage of portraying a wanker.

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