# Why Doesn't My Son's Classmate Celebrate Valentine's Day? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 8, 2010, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199 "2010-02-08T23:14:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/1 "2010-02-08T23:14:26Z")
I realize you (probably) don’t know my 7-year old son’s classmate, Ashley. Today, he brought home the list of his classmates for V-Day cards. On the list was a note saying that Ashley doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, but he could make her a “friendship” card instead. I’ve never heard of someone not celebrating V-Day. Ok, I know grown-ups who don’t, for a variety of reasons, but a 7-year old? My first guess would be religious reasons. Are there religions that forbid it? ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/2 "2010-02-08T23:19:16Z")
Jehovah’s Witnesses do not celebrate pagan holidays, which includes Christmas. They only celebrate the memorial of Christ’s death (at Easter). ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/3 "2010-02-08T23:21:21Z")
He’s probably a Jehovah’s Witness. It’s been so long that I can’t remember the exact basis for not doing so but when I was one as a child we skipped Valentine’s Day. Technically it is of Catholic origin with various pagan add ons so I imagine it had something to do with that. I’d probably just skip the “friendship” card too, but that may just be me. I hated when I was a kid and people did stuff like “this isn’t a birthday present, it is a present I just happen to be giving you on your birthday.” My internal response was always “thanks for apparently thinking I’m an idiot.” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/4 "2010-02-09T00:15:39Z")
> [@obfusciatrist](#): > > I hated when I was a kid and people did stuff like “this isn’t a birthday present, it is a present I just happen to be giving you on your birthday.” My internal response was always “thanks for apparently thinking I’m an idiot.” Huh. I was once at a Thanksgiving dinner where a JW (adult) was in attendance. She made a big point of saying, “There isn’t anything special about today, it’s just friends and family having dinner together.” But she stuffed herself just as much as anyone else. 🙂 I wondered who she thought she was fooling. Herself, perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Call_Me_Shirley)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/5 "2010-02-09T00:27:31Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Huh. I was once at a Thanksgiving dinner where a JW (adult) was in attendance. She made a big point of saying, “There isn’t anything special about today, it’s just friends and family having dinner together.” But she stuffed herself just as much as anyone else. 🙂 I wondered who she thought she was fooling. Herself, perhaps? God. She was fooling God. Apparently the JW god is a moron. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/6 "2010-02-09T00:34:02Z")
I once had a JW coworker who wouldn’t let her kids go to birthday parties or dress up for Halloween. So sad. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/7 "2010-02-09T00:38:16Z")
I’d say any devout non-Catholic or Christian family might have reservations about observing a Catholic saint’s day. I used to always hate how we **had** to give Valentine’s cards to everyone in our class, other guys included. I understand that they didn’t want any “Charlie Browns” that got no cards for whatever reason. But to paraphrase “The Incredibles”: when everyone’s your “special Valentine”, then nobody is. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/8 "2010-02-09T00:50:52Z")
I realise I should probably file this under “cultural differences” or whatever, but I don’t really get the concept of 7-year-olds celebrating Valentines day at all. Particularly as some sort of school-sponsored activity. Aren’t they a little young for that? ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/9 "2010-02-09T00:55:01Z")
The whole idea of schoolchildren even celebrating St Valentine’s Day seems very odd to me. And, on preview, I can see that **Aspidistra** has just said the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/10 "2010-02-09T00:57:13Z")
What’s odd about it? It doesn’t have any romantic connotations to them, it’s just a friendship thing. The kids always like doing it. Every kid gets something nice from every other kid. What’s the problem? It’s not an orgy. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/11 "2010-02-09T01:32:21Z")
It just seems wierd, that’s all. Aren’t romantic connotations the whole point of Valentines day? ETA: that could lead to another possible explanation for the OP’s question though. Is Ashley’s family from o/s? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/12 "2010-02-09T02:03:48Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > It just seems wierd, that’s all. Aren’t romantic connotations the whole point of Valentines day? They are now - there isn’t a separate feast anymore for a relatively unknown martyr. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/13 "2010-02-09T02:04:37Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > It just seems wierd, that’s all. Aren’t romantic connotations the whole point of Valentines day? Once you grow up, they are. In the US, though, there’s definitely a tradition among young children of exchanging special kiddie Valentine’s Day cards and/or treats, without any (or at least, without much) suggestion of romantic pairing. Kids are not very prone to ponder the deeper significance of cultural practices that involve receiving candy (“lollies” to you, I guess). 🙂 [Now I’m jonesing for some conversation hearts myself. Mmm, [conversation hearts](http://www.necco.com/OurBrands/Default.asp?BrandID=8).] ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/14 "2010-02-09T02:05:20Z")
> [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](#): > > God. She was fooling God. Apparently the JW god is a moron. Thanksgiving is the worst holiday to do this. Every other holiday, you can eat at the meal, but not participate in the activities. But, at Thanksgiving, the meal **is** the activity. I don’t find the whole “friendship card” to be useful, though. Because, for kids, handing out and receiving Valentines is the activity. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/15 "2010-02-09T02:08:23Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > I realise I should probably file this under “cultural differences” or whatever, but I don’t really get the concept of 7-year-olds celebrating Valentines day at all. Particularly as some sort of school-sponsored activity. Aren’t they a little young for that? > [@Cunctator](#): > > The whole idea of schoolchildren even celebrating St Valentine’s Day seems very odd to me. You’ve never seen the wide variety of 25-to-a-box Spiderman or Disney or Harry Potter or whatever valentines they sell for kids to give their classmates? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/16 "2010-02-09T02:09:36Z")
OMG. What hath [Necco wrought](http://www.necco.com/OurBrands/Default.asp?BrandID=8)? > [@](#): > > Now, for the first time in its 145 year history, the New England Confectionery Company is unveiling a new generation of Sweethearts® that includes all new expressions selected entirely by the American public, along with a re-formulation of the iconic candies made in the USA. > > New Sayings & Colors > For the first time in 145 years, Sweethearts® discarded all its previous phrases and asked the American public to tell us how they express their love. The 2010 Sweethearts® are featured in bright and bolder new colors. > > New Flavors & Texture > All new flavors for 2010 Sweethearts® include Strawberry, Green Apple, Lemon, Grape, Orange and Blue Raspberry. The new Sweethearts® have been re-formulated to be softer and more fun to eat. What have they done to my Conversation Hearts? :eek: :eek: I want the **real** Conversation Hearts back!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: ETA: Okay, sorry for the digression, not really relevant. But I’m upset. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/17 "2010-02-09T02:10:06Z")
My mother is an elementary school teacher and has a student this year whose mother won’t let her participate in Valentine’s Day because she is Jewish. The mother claims that this is a very common objection, though my mom has been teaching for like 35 years and this is the first time this has come up. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/18 "2010-02-09T02:14:19Z")
> [@obfusciatrist](#): > > He’s probably a Jehovah’s Witness. It’s been so long that I can’t remember the exact basis for not doing so but when I was one as a child we skipped Valentine’s Day. > > Technically it is of Catholic origin with various pagan add ons so I imagine it had something to do with that. > > I’d probably just skip the “friendship” card too, but that may just be me. I hated when I was a kid and people did stuff like “this isn’t a birthday present, it is a present I just happen to be giving you on your birthday.” My internal response was always “thanks for apparently thinking I’m an idiot.” > [@Scarlett67](#): > > Huh. I was once at a Thanksgiving dinner where a JW (adult) was in attendance. She made a big point of saying, “There isn’t anything special about today, it’s just friends and family having dinner together.” But she stuffed herself just as much as anyone else. 🙂 I wondered who she thought she was fooling. Herself, perhaps? > [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](#): > > God. She was fooling God. Apparently the JW god is a moron. They may not seriously think they’re fooling anyone- they might simply be less observant than others. JWs aren’t a monolithic block. My aunt and uncle are JWs, and we’ve eaten a Turkey dinner, with stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, green beans, and pumpkin pie for dessert at their house on Thanksgiving. Before we ate the meal, we all went around the table and talked about how **un** thankful we were for the meal, and how we only ate this particular food because it was on sale. It was a very wink-wink, nudge-nudge kind of affair. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/19 "2010-02-09T02:18:23Z")
IME, some Jews avoid the holiday because of its origins in a Christian saint’s day, since saints’ days are naturally not celebrated by Jews. On the other hand, many Jews just see the modern Valentine’s Day as a secular custom with customary practices but no religious significance, like the Fourth of July (US Independence Day). I wouldn’t be very surprised to encounter a Jewish person who didn’t participate in V-Day customs on religious grounds, but they’re probably pretty rare. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199/20 "2010-02-09T02:21:48Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > I wondered who she thought she was fooling. Herself, perhaps? Most of the JWs I knew did family stuff at Thanksgiving. Celebrations arent’ particularly religious, political, or pagan. And it is the main time of year that friends and family gather so unless you cut off completely it’s the opportunity. But it is up to each to decide for themselves. So she may very be fooling herself. But the key is that if so it was her fooling herself and not other people doing it for her. I just found it rude that other people were already trying to find loopholes in my faith (which I didn’t actually have but I was 10 so what did I know) on the apparent assumption that since it didn’t match with theirs I must be horribly unhappy. If anything I’d ask the teacher if the student in question had specifically said the friendship cards would be welcome or if the teacher was just assuming that since it is beyond her understanding that they’d be happy with not pretending to be a part of things. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-doesnt-my-sons-classmate-celebrate-valentines-day/528199.md?page=2)