# Why Don't Dogs Fellate Themselves? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 9, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263 "2003-07-09T16:27:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/1 "2003-07-09T16:27:49Z")
On numerous occasions, I’ve witnessed my male dog licking himself in his genital region. He appears to be doing this strictly for hygienic reasons, mostly cleaning the area under the foreskin, and occasionally he’ll work on the scrotal region. He doesn’t work the shaft, and, as far as I can discern, doesn’t seem to be get any pleasure out of it. Never has he done anything that resembles fellatio, even though, in theory, he could easily perform this on himself. Why not? If you can reach your genitals with your mouth, what could possibly stop you from auto-fellating yourself? At first I thought maybe this was because dogs aren’t capable of creating suction, because of the shape of their snouts. But this is clearly not the case- dogs are mammals. They wouldn’t survive if they couldn’t suck milk from their mothers’ nipples. So why don’t dogs, cats, and other mammals that can reach fellate themselves? Did natural selection weed out those that did from the gene pool?? Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/2 "2003-07-09T16:37:35Z")
Maybe you should leave a straw by your dog’s water bowl. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/3 "2003-07-09T16:57:15Z")
One of my dogs does. “No, Two-Tone! I DON’T want a kiss, now!” _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/4 "2003-07-09T17:09:57Z")
I have a male and female pup, and they’re satisfied performing on each other. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/5 "2003-07-09T17:11:52Z")
They do. A good friend of mine has a dog that wasn’t neutered until he was 10 months old or so (she got him from a shelter). He had learned to fellate himself, and did it even after he had no testicles. It was great fun at parties - he’d curl into a ball and his hips would start to pump and he’d move across the floor. Not as much fun in other company, though, like when her parents or boss came to vist. ---
**Author:** ![braintree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@braintree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/braintree)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/6 "2003-07-09T17:20:37Z")
Tell me, Athena, your dog wouldn’t be named Ron by any chance, would he? ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/7 "2003-07-09T17:45:37Z")
Our dog - who was gay, by the way - also used to fellate himself. It would start out simply grooming, then he would begin to “work” it as you say, then out would come the lipstick! ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/8 "2003-07-09T18:32:11Z")
They do. Imagine what fun they’d have with opposable thumbs! ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/9 "2003-07-09T20:23:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by braintree \* > \*\*Tell me, Athena, your dog wouldn’t be named Ron by any chance, would he? \*\* I think they called him RJ for short. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/10 "2003-07-09T22:04:19Z")
Maybe because they have sharp teeth? Either that or because no one has shown them how to do it. ---
**Author:** ![BlueMit11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@BlueMit11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueMit11)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/11 "2003-07-09T23:10:02Z")
[BlueMit’s Dog Typing] I’ll take that as an invitation, Handy. [/BlueMit’s Dog Typing] ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/12 "2003-07-09T23:48:17Z")
**Surreal,** maybe your dog needs Viagra. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/13 "2003-07-10T03:05:30Z")
I had a cat named Merlin, but my partner called him “Lick a Dick” based on his favourite pastime with himself. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/14 "2003-07-10T03:24:01Z")
Two guys are in the park, looking at the dogs all around them. A dog starts licking his balls, and one guy sighs and says, “Man, I wish I could do that.” The other guy says, “Maybe if you pet him, he’ll let you.” ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/15 "2003-07-10T12:27:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*Two guys are in the park, looking at the dogs all around them. A dog starts licking his balls, and one guy sighs and says, “Man, I wish I could do that.” > The other guy says, “Maybe if you pet him, he’ll let you.” \*\* New Thread; How to get coffee out of a keyboard.😛 ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/16 "2003-07-10T12:33:36Z")
I hope it works for orange juice as well. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-dogs-fellate-themselves/187263/17 "2003-07-10T21:36:21Z")
Always glad to make (an)other Doper’s (s’) day. 🙂