# Why don't humans just donate blood for vamps? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 2, 2014, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177 "2014-07-02T10:02:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/41 "2014-07-02T19:04:22Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Well, maybe if they’d tell us, we could all help. People wouldn’t be afraid to report vampires for fear of being labeled insane if everyone knew vampires were real. Everyone could be issued stake guns, or whatever. Bring the problem into the light, so to speak. > > Or maybe vampires should demand their rights as citizens. Stop the vampire discrimination! Have a march on Washington (or Transylvania). They should be able to live their lives openly, free from discrimination. from Blood Ties > [@](#): > > Vampire is such an ugly word! Don’t let me hear you say that again. We’re Carpathian-Americans! ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/42 "2014-07-02T19:45:46Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > At least a few versions of vampires from various works—the above Anno Dracula, for one example—can actually survive on animal blood, as well. Feeding on humans just being “tastier” (sometimes with supernatural elements), or more “nutritious,” and/or simply preferred by beings who (for biological, or just cultural reasons) see humans as little more than livestock and game that can talk. The _Twilight_ vamps are also capable of living on animal blood, although I believe there are some baddies among them. However, they glitter in the sunlight. So, even most vampire lovers agree that They Must Die! ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/43 "2014-07-02T20:13:58Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > I’d be worried about the logistics - how much blood can we provide, and how large is the vampire population? That was the problem in the movie _Day Breakers_. There was a contagion that spread vampirism and there weren’t enough humans around to keep them fed. And apparently, in that universe, vampires who don’t get fed often go insane and feral. But the beloved of SDMB “Order of the Stick” is an example of humans volunteering to provide blood for a vampire (although in this case, they’re assuming that it’s a friendly-ish vampire). ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/44 "2014-07-02T20:18:45Z")
Marvel published a graphic novel years ago titled Greenburg the Vampire where most of the vampires in New York got their blood from a butcher shop. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/45 "2014-07-02T20:21:38Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Oh my god! I never considered! It all fits! > > Did vampires have anything to do with the World Trade Center? Was JFK a vampire? Were the Apollo astronauts vampires because only the undead can pass through the Van Allen Belts? > > Hey, I’m just asking questions! Fortunately I’m in a position to give the definitive answers. Get ready. OK, the first thing you need to kn ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/46 "2014-07-02T21:21:39Z")
So, you’re telling me that Candlejack is a vampire then? That’s crazy, everyone knows th ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/47 "2014-07-03T02:37:16Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Marvel published a graphic novel years ago titled Greenburg the Vampire where most of the vampires in New York got their blood from a butcher shop. I have a copy of Greenberg. It stinks. Back To The OP In the rpg Vampire The Masquerade, feeding generally doesn’t kill humans. In fact, they experience euphoria when being fed on. The average vamp had a group of people they rotated feeding on so no humans were harmed. In the book Fat White Vampire Blues (I read it expecting cheezy badness, like a film on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Instead, I found an excellent book with well detailed, believable characters I cared about. I STRONGLY recommend it), most vamps have found ways to feed without killing humans. In the issue of Beautiful Stories For Ugly Children, Arnold- Confessions Of A Blood Junkie, most vampires belong to support groups. The support groups provide a blood substitute (which tastes like IIRC a mixture of ketchup and tooth paste). In the Callahan’s Cross Time Saloon PC game (and I assume in the book series) a human may offer their blood to a vamp. If the vamp accepts and drinks from the human, it means two things. The vamp agrees not to feed to excess or otherwise harm the human. The human agrees not to stake the vamp while sleeping during the day or otherwise harm them ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/48 "2014-07-03T02:52:46Z")
> [@kk\_fusion](#): > > I think the victim’s (live) body must be totally drained of blood in order to have a saturating effect. True in very, very few vampire universes - certainly none of the works that informed the genre (Varney the Vampire, The Vampyre, Carmilla, Dracula), nor in most of their mythical predecessors (which generally associated them with disease, not sudden deaths). I think the only major vampire universe that requires it be both fresh (ie, straight from the veins of a living person) and human is Rice’s Vampire Chronicles, and even there I don’t know for sure it requires that much. Even 30 Days of Night, which has some of the most brutal vampires out there, has vampires which can take old blood - the plot of one of the prose novels was an attempt to set up industrial harvesting of blood, and the hero in a couple of them is a vampire who drinks donated blood from bottles. (The other sympathetic vampire targets criminals, and even he doesn’t usually drain them.) ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/49 "2014-07-03T03:11:07Z")
I remember a webcomic where something like this happens. The reason, though, is that there aren’t enough humans left for the vampires, and so they for a coalition against a common enemy. (I can’t remember if they are zombies or a different type of vampire. Either way, drinking their blood is not possible.) The vampires protect the humans in exchange for feeding rights. I believe drinking blood is somewhat traumatic and makes people bed ridden for a few hour, but they specifically space it out so they don’t kill anyone. The humans aren’t just pets, either. They help out, but from behind the lines. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/50 "2014-07-03T03:50:31Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I have a copy of Greenberg. It stinks. > Back To The OP > > In the rpg Vampire The Masquerade, feeding generally doesn’t kill humans. In fact, they experience euphoria when being fed on. The average vamp had a group of people they rotated feeding on so no humans were harmed. Yeah, the WoD has tapped pretty much every variation of feeding you could possibly need, from the traditionalists swooping in through nubile young women’s bedroom windows (heaving bosom and ill wind blowing through heavy drapes a requirement, lightning strikes and howling dogs optional but preferred), to the predatory hunter ripping throats in back alleys, to the totally gay ones who opt to only feed on rats and cattle, to the guys and gals who set up networks of willing blood dolls, to the \*really \*ambitious who found religious cults, to the junkies and connoisseurs who only wanna drink werewolf, fae, mage or other vamps’ blood. ETA : I don’t recall a setting or scenario where willing, lawful cooperation with humans on a national scale & blood drives are a \*thing \*though, since Masquerade is really a superhero game and the whole point is keeping the existence and identity of vamps a secret. But plenty of vamps set up shop in hospitals or blood banks so they can have a constantly and willingly refilled buffet. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/51 "2014-07-03T04:06:07Z")
Seems to me if there was a transmissible virus or pathogen of some sort that gave people superhuman abilities, there would certainly be intense study to identify and genetically engineer it to try to reduce the negatives i.e. the need to drink blood, intolerance for sunlight, etc. The first country that can successfully militarize it would have a massive advantage. ---
**Author:** ![Private\_Bin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c0e974/32.png) [@Private\_Bin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Private_Bin)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/52 "2014-07-03T06:57:15Z")
Or maybe they could wear giant hats and tie knives to their fingers. What’s your point? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/53 "2014-07-03T12:12:05Z")
Folkloric vampires, which are the only ones that count, are malevolent entities that feed on the living. They aren’t suave or cultured or sexy. All that came from the perved out imaginations of writers. I strongly doubt you will find any culture that has vampire legends where the vampires are regarded in anything but a negative way. Why on Urth would we want to enact a scheme to keep such filthy things fed and active? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/54 "2014-07-03T15:41:25Z")
Yeah, they’re not romatic. It’s not like they’re a bunch of fuckin’ fags hoppin’ around in rented formal wear and seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Euro-trash accents, all right? Forget whatever you’ve seen in the movies: they don’t turn into bats, crosses don’t work. Garlic? You wanna try garlic? You could stand there with garlic around your neck and one of these buggers will bend you fucking over and take a walk up your strada-chocolata WHILE he’s suckin’ the blood outta your neck, all right? And they don’t sleep in coffins lined in taffata. You wanna kill one, you drive a wooden stake right through his fuckin’ heart. ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/55 "2014-07-03T18:06:05Z")
Decapitation also works nicely. One book I’ve read actually has vampires laughing about the whole vampire romance genre. These guys, and gals, are just about the blood. (BTW, could a male vampire even actually get an erection? No heartbeat=no blood rushing to the appropriate parts.) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/56 "2014-07-03T21:24:06Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > ETA : I don’t recall a setting or scenario where willing, lawful cooperation with humans on a national scale & blood drives are a \*thing \*though… The post-apocalyptic fantasy RPG Rifts had something like that. Vampires in that game were created by immense, Lovecraftian entities known as vampire intelligences. Three or four of them had arrived in the deserts of Mexico, and conquered and enslaved the adjacent human populations for use as cattle. While most of these vampire nations were, essentially, charnel pits, one of the intelligences reasoned that if it treated its human population semi-decently, it would be less likely to be invaded by crusading do-gooders. In exchange for monthly blood donations, humans were given certain rights, and protected against the other monsters, bandits, and would-be conquerors out there. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/57 "2014-07-03T21:28:45Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > fuckin’ fags I’m offended by this. I am also offended by **Kobal2** ’s use of “gay” to mean lame or wimpy. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/58 "2014-07-03T21:44:21Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I’m offended by this. Don’t watch John Carpenter’s _Vampires_ then, though you’ll miss that and other amusing rants delivered by James Woods. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/59 "2014-07-03T22:38:04Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Don’t watch John Carpenter’s _Vampires_ then, though you’ll miss that and other amusing rants delivered by James Woods. I knew when I objected to your post, there was a chance you were quoting something. The really embarrassing thing is that I have seen it. Ah well, can’t win 'em all. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2014, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177/60 "2014-07-03T22:46:22Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I knew when I objected to your post, there was a chance you were quoting something. The really embarrassing thing is that I have seen it. Ah well, can’t win 'em all. Well, to be fair, I own the movie, and even mentioned it earlier, but I didn’t recognize the quote. I was wondering if I needed to move **Bryan Ekers** into the jerk file. In writing, it is hard to tell sometimes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-humans-just-donate-blood-for-vamps/692177.md?page=4)