# Why don't I get weepy at sad films? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 3, 2009, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864 "2009-04-03T15:04:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/1 "2009-04-03T15:04:58Z")
Take **The Notebook**. Friend of mine was over and he wanted to watch it, said it was a good film. So we did till the end. He was a little misty and just gushed about how great it was and how wonderful. I pthhed him (you know what I mean) and said I didn’t care for it. He told me I have no soul. Anyway, I wondered why that movie affected him and not me. I don’t care for sad movies and they don’t make me cry if I do have to see 'em. Am I just unemotional or do other people roll their eyes at that type of film? ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/2 "2009-04-03T15:14:54Z")
There’s nothing wrong with your emotions; I think you just require more depth in your drama. (I think a _lot_ of people rolled their eyes at _The Notebook_.) Also, I’ve never cried from sadness in a movie, unless it was mixed with what Roger Ebert calls Elevation. A sort of sweet pain, when a character you’ve become involved with has a moment of transcendance. The last scene of _The Miracle Worker_ gets me every time, as Helen Keller, after years in darkness and silence, makes the mental leap necessary to achieve language, a leap that takes her out of her tiny cell of existence and into knowledge of the greater world. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19adc/32.png) [@I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Am_The_Lorax)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/3 "2009-04-03T16:41:07Z")
The Notebook was a horrible book, and an even worse movie. There’s nothing wrong with you. Your friend however… 😉 Most movies aren’t engaging enough to cry about. (I sob at the end of Bicentennial Man everytime, though) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/4 "2009-04-03T16:46:30Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > \ I pthhed him (you know what I mean)\ On mouseover I read this as “I pithed him” - :eek: That’s a little harsh for disagreeing over a movie, isn’t it? Yeah, you probably just don’t have a soul is all. I wouldn’t worry about it. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/5 "2009-04-03T16:52:45Z")
I never used to dry at movies until a friend of mine was killed in a car accident. Since then I get weepy all the time at death scenes in movies. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/6 "2009-04-03T16:54:37Z")
Perhaps you just don’t like having your emotional buttons pushed in such an obvious and blatant manner. Do you, for instance, gag at many Steven Spielberg films, or find Norah Ephram romantic comedies to be creepy and illogical rather than funny and cute? There you go. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![johnspartan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@johnspartan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnspartan)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/7 "2009-04-03T16:59:49Z")
I think sometimes the determinant can be whether there’s something you can relate to in your own experience. Anything that’s 19th century and English and some stuffy person comes down with some now-pretty-irrelevant disease and slowly gets sick and dies while the person who cares about them watches… meh. That’s not going to move me to bawl, more likely to yawn. But if it’s something you can personally relate to — a guy who has recently lost his dad might be choked up a bit when a movie involves a similar father-son bond… I think Field of Dreams is on that list of movies guys are “allowed” to get a sniffle from… ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/8 "2009-04-03T17:35:52Z")
Can you think of an example of a movie you did have a strong emotional reaction to? ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/9 "2009-04-03T19:30:29Z")
I rarely have an emotional reaction to a sad movie… unless it’s something about a father showing his love for his child, or vice-versa (e.g. _Mr. Holland’s Opus_. Yeah, I know). I guess it means I need to explore my own relationship with my dad, or something. Anyhow, on the plane this weekend I actually choked up (twice) during _Marley & Me_. I’ve never had a dog, or any pet for that matter. I’ve never gone through either of the tragedies represented in this movie (the one about 1/3 of the way through, and the one at the end). But there I was, my face getting red and my eyes welling with tears behind my sunglasses in seat 16E. I had to look out the window at the clouds a few times, because you know, I just felt like looking out the window, alright? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/10 "2009-04-03T19:48:37Z")
I too, have been accused of being soulless for not crying at a given movie. (I actually _never_ cry at movies. Or TV shows. Unless they’re documentaries.) This is ridiculous. I am a very caring and empathetic person. The news makes me cry all the time. My career goal is to work in international development because I want to improve the lives of people living in poverty. I figure I just don’t get emotionally invested in fictional stories. I don’t think it’s a negative reflection on me, or you, but I do find it irritating to be told I am heartless because I some schmaltzy romance didn’t make me cry. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/11 "2009-04-03T20:27:36Z")
Actually, my OP isn’t entirely accurate: I do cry if animals are hurt, but not people. Therefore I will not see My Dog Spot or Marley & Me or anything like them. Sad people stories, though… As for the last movie I teared up at: ROTK when the bad guys attacked riding on elephants. I know, WTF? But I did. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-i-get-weepy-at-sad-films/491864/12 "2009-04-04T03:40:03Z")
I don’t cry over too many sad movies ([One True Thing](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120776/) being a big exception), but I do find myself teary over strange things too. The first few times I read/saw the scene at the end of the first Harry Potter movie, I’d cry when Dumbledore got to the line about Neville: “It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but just as much [“a great deal more” - movie] to stand up to your friends.” I still don’t know exactly why.