# Why don't Pirates Skydive? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 22, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-pirates-skydive/482484 "2009-01-22T17:59:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![shallora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@shallora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shallora)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-pirates-skydive/482484/1 "2009-01-22T17:59:12Z")
Ok, I know some of them do, but most don’t. Most also do not swim in shark infested waters, retrieve hand grenades, or even serve in combat arms positions in the US Military. It seems to me that if there is a great reward from the Great Noodly One, why are more Followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster not in a hurry to get with him? I understand to some, suicide may not get you there, but why not drive fast on the interstate on a foggy morning? RAmen ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-pirates-skydive/482484/2 "2009-01-22T18:01:18Z")
Because when they try to yell Geraaaaar, they get stuck. I just noticed this is in Great Debates, why? Probably shouldn’t have told a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-pirates-skydive/482484/3 "2009-01-22T18:03:09Z")
Cite that the Noodly One offers rewards? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-pirates-skydive/482484/4 "2009-01-22T18:04:16Z")
What would Blackbeard do? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-pirates-skydive/482484/5 "2009-01-22T18:12:36Z")
Pirates??? If this is a serious question, and if that question is “Why do so many believers in a desirable afterlife seem so cautious about avoiding death?” I can think of several answers: (1) The human instinct to survive and protect oneself is hard to override. (2) They have a Mission From God, and they aren’t ready to check out until that mission is completed or God relieves them of duty. (3) More generally, as long as there are good contributions you can make to this world, isn’t it selfish to check out now before making them? And if there are good things you can experience in this world, why not experience them before you go? Eternity will still be there whenever you get there. (4) They have some doubt about the existence or nature of the afterlife or their own destination in it. (5) They realize the grief and/or hardship that their death would mean for those left behind. (6) If you engage in risky activities, you risk not only death, but also dismemberment, brain damage, body damage, horrible pain, and other nasty things that no one wants to experience, whether or not there’s an afterlife. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-pirates-skydive/482484/6 "2009-01-22T18:13:04Z")
It’s hard to make illegal software copies when you’re jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-pirates-skydive/482484/7 "2009-01-22T18:16:59Z")
Okay, I get it. This thread is a parody of the [Why don’t Christians skydive?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=502949) thread, which I hadn’t seen before I replied. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-pirates-skydive/482484/8 "2009-01-22T18:51:37Z")
[Moderator Hat ON] Parody threads belong in the Pit, and it already has two on this subject. Please make your points in those. That is quite enough new threads on this subject, shallora. [Moderator Hat OFF]