# Why don't you clean up your ass instead, bitch? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 18, 2009, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835 "2009-08-18T12:19:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/21 "2009-08-18T14:55:54Z")
I hate to be this way, but… I have sympathy for someone who has a neighbor that’s making the neighborhood look dirty. While the picture of the porch doesn’t make it look like some slum, you have stated in other threads about your personal issues with keeping things clean, all of your different types of roaches, etc. Having a neighbor who is making things look nasty can be hard, especially in terms of property value and just being able to look around your neighborhood with pride. Having said that, I know it can also be hard to figure out how to deal with that kind of problem. She sure was bitchy, but maybe she didn’t know how to approach you about it. Maybe she’s listing her house for sale, or expecting out of town guests. This may just be a matter of badly handling a neighbor issue. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/22 "2009-08-18T14:59:19Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I got no problem showing the world my mess. I admitted that, yes, the boxes need to go. Actually, it looks like Himself got the shelves back in the van, so he left some boxes on the driveway from the whole van operation he’s gotta clean up, which must be what she was squawking about with the yard. > > [Porch.](http://www.flickr.com/photos/62555962@N00/3833725524/in/set-72157621949559981/) > > [Yard.](http://www.flickr.com/photos/62555962@N00/3833725968/in/set-72157621949559981/) > > Are either of these cause to be rude as shit to somebody you’ve never even met before? She is complaining about THAT? Seriously, she has serious mental problems. Or she may just be having a shitty morning and taking it out on you. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/23 "2009-08-18T15:06:40Z")
Cute house! Okay, I must admit that if I saw a porch in that state for more than a couple of days I would wonder to myself what the heck was up with that BUT under no circumstances would I say anything about it. That bitch is waaaaaay over the freakin’ line. I hope you don’t have to encounter her again, but if you do at least you’ll know what you’re dealing with and can mentally prep yourself accordingly. By the way, where’s the picture of Captain?😕🙂 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/24 "2009-08-18T15:09:15Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Are either of these cause to be rude as shit to somebody you’ve never even met before? I pictured much worse. She’s a socially-retarded harpy. I’d also have been caught off guard by her effrontery—but the response to her question, _à l’esprit de l’escalier_, should’ve been a puzzled stare and “I’m sorry, do we \*know \*each other?” Thankfully, people where I live would never behave in such a manner. Instead they’d complain to the homeowner’s association who’d issue a vaguely threatening letter, leaving you to forever wonder which of your friendly neighbors is the dirty rat. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/25 "2009-08-18T15:10:04Z")
Your house is lovely, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/26 "2009-08-18T15:11:19Z")
Ah, one of those people who thinks of the correct thing to say long after the event has passed. A simple “Go fuck yourself” will always suffice. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/27 "2009-08-18T15:12:23Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > \ What did the cuntlapper say as a social nicety? \ General question: why is “cuntlapper” an insult? Don’t we approve of cunnilingus anymore? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/28 "2009-08-18T15:18:47Z")
She had a very minor point, but still that was being damn damn rude. I’d kept those things on the porch for months after that to piss her off. Want something to complain about, I’ll give you something to complain about. We had a friend that was getting complaints about stuff on their porch. Stuff like some bricks and construction materials. Thing was, you couldnt even SEE the stuff till you GOT to the front door. Nothing could be seen from the street. Apparently the mere presence of the stuff gave off bad vibes that lowered the neighborhood value. And in the what the hell did they just say? department. I was driving the 7 miles or so to the local hardware store a few years ago. No AC, so the windows were down in the car. Some random stranger on a bike on the other side of the road going the opposite direction yells out “Why don’t you ride a bike rather than drive a car !?” The fact that I was going to go pick up well over a 1000 lbs of concrete might have had something to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/29 "2009-08-18T15:18:58Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > [Porch.](http://www.flickr.com/photos/62555962@N00/3833725524/in/set-72157621949559981/) > > [Yard.](http://www.flickr.com/photos/62555962@N00/3833725968/in/set-72157621949559981/) > > Are either of these cause to be rude as shit to somebody you’ve never even met before? No. Lovely house, BTW. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/30 "2009-08-18T15:20:19Z")
Sateryn, the roaches were indubitably from the neighbors who got foreclosed upon. (yeah, and she was worried about US?) They were a completely different species and everything. Thr “normal” roaches are unavoidable in South Carolina houses. Yes, I’ve done a lot of threads about having trouble with cleaning. That’s why I have a yard guy - so the neighbors don’t get upset. 🙂 The mess, while so overwhelming I am posting to this via iPhone rather than work on it, is inside. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/31 "2009-08-18T15:20:23Z")
> [@Southern\_Yankee](#): > > General question: why is “cuntlapper” an insult? Don’t we approve of cunnilingus anymore? Given the items that offended her, boxmuncher would have been the perfect word choice IMO. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/32 "2009-08-18T15:28:30Z")
> [@Southern\_Yankee](#): > > General question: why is “cuntlapper” an insult? Don’t we approve of cunnilingus anymore? It isn’t about oral sex, it is because her vagina is so big you can run laps around the inside of it. Or so I assume. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/33 "2009-08-18T15:30:47Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > It isn’t about oral sex, it is because her vagina is so big you can run laps around the inside of it. Or so I assume. Ahh.. I wasn’t thinking of that interpretation. That certainly makes more sense. I always assumed it meant like a dog lapping at a water dish… Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/34 "2009-08-18T15:36:20Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Cute house! > > Okay, I must admit that if I saw a porch in that state for more than a couple of days I would wonder to myself what the heck was up with that BUT under no circumstances would I say anything about it. That bitch is waaaaaay over the freakin’ line. I hope you don’t have to encounter her again, but if you do at least you’ll know what you’re dealing with and can mentally prep yourself accordingly. > By the way, where’s the picture of Captain?😕🙂 Hey, I agree I should have had it hauled around months ago - it’s kind of been one of those “well, the trash won’t be here until next Tuesday, so I should do it on Monday” but then I forget on Monday sort of things. But I’ve never said it didn’t need doing. And how about a [twofer](http://www.flickr.com/photos/62555962@N00/sets/72157621950543723/)? They’re so embarrassed when they get caught not hating each others’ guts. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/35 "2009-08-18T15:43:23Z")
Oooooh, goggie and kitteh goodness! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/36 "2009-08-18T15:47:35Z")
They don’t normally snuggle, but the opportunity to both get scritches on Mama’s lap was just too much for them. Note the wary detente. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/37 "2009-08-18T15:57:09Z")
> [@muttrox](#): > > I think you need to do your own variant of this [classic](http://burbia.com/epic-neighbor-lawn-chair-war). That…is…_awesome_! Thanks for the lolz!!! ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/38 "2009-08-18T22:17:41Z")
Don’t you hate it when someone’s bossy presumption causes you to be obnoxious just to be contrary? I was once looking for parking in a very busy beach parking lot. No spaces were available, but the parking lot attendants pointed over to a chained-off area, indicating they were going to undo the chain and free up some more space. Several cars, including me, drove towards that area. The attendants were delayed a bit trying to find the key, and there was a small traffic jam waiting for them. I was about to turn off my idling engine while I waited, when a squealy, overly-politically-correct girl standing nearby with her friends, said “Excuse me, would you please like save the planet and turn off your car, already?” and went back to giggling with her gaggle. Like I said, I was about to turn it off anyway, but she pissed me off so much that I left it on out of pure spite. She tried to catch my attention again to point out my transgression, but I pointedly looked the other way. I’m not proud of my childish contrariness, but damn. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/39 "2009-08-18T22:39:04Z")
Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. She was rude. Your front porch is a mess. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835/40 "2009-08-18T22:39:25Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > Don’t you hate it when someone’s bossy presumption causes you to be obnoxious just to be contrary? > > I was once looking for parking in a very busy beach parking lot. No spaces were available, but the parking lot attendants pointed over to a chained-off area, indicating they were going to undo the chain and free up some more space. Several cars, including me, drove towards that area. The attendants were delayed a bit trying to find the key, and there was a small traffic jam waiting for them. I was about to turn off my idling engine while I waited, when a squealy, overly-politically-correct girl standing nearby with her friends, said “Excuse me, would you please like save the planet and turn off your car, already?” and went back to giggling with her gaggle. Like I said, I was about to turn it off anyway, but she pissed me off so much that I left it on out of pure spite. She tried to catch my attention again to point out my transgression, but I pointedly looked the other way. I’m not proud of my childish contrariness, but damn. I would have put it into park and then rested my foot gently on the gas, so as to run the engine at an audibly higher rev. You know how it is - there’s no point in making a point if they don’t get the point. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-clean-up-your-ass-instead-bitch/506835.md?page=3)