# Why Don't You Fucking Pay Me Back!? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 6, 2003, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856 "2003-09-06T01:23:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/1 "2003-09-06T01:23:48Z")
I have, (or had) a friend who I gave 50 bucks to (it’s not important why). AFAIK, He’s not very poor, and is constantly buying game systems to replace the old ones he has, expensive clothes, and belts that are reminiscent of the Rhinestone Jesus®. He has a girlfriend, you see, who he is constantly flashing his money to and buying expensive gifts for. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/2 "2003-09-06T02:19:30Z")
Perhaps you could ask him why he doesn’t fucking pay you back, rather than us. ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/3 "2003-09-06T02:23:05Z")
Perhaps you should keep your smart-assed comments to yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/4 "2003-09-06T02:25:06Z")
If you loan money to people without a signed and notarized contract and/or collateral, don’t expect to ever see it again. This does not mean you should not loan money to people. Just don’t kid yourself that it’s a debt you’ll actually collect. It’s better just to give it to them as a gift out of friendship and/or love. Because a loan not paid back almost always results in a lost friendship anyhow. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/5 "2003-09-06T02:25:12Z")
Perhaps the OP’er would benefit from the addition of a ball-gag? ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/6 "2003-09-06T02:30:15Z")
Yes, I think I will 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ryle\_Dup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Ryle\_Dup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryle_Dup)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/7 "2003-09-06T02:38:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wikkit \* > \*\*Perhaps you could ask him why he doesn’t fucking pay you back, rather than us. \*\* Perhaps because society has something known of as etiquette, the members tend to know these things. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/8 "2003-09-06T02:54:34Z")
Alright, how about: > [@](#): > > "Perhaps the OP (the lender) would benefit and profit by explaining his views to the lendee on why he feels that repayment of the funds in question would be conducive to continuing their cordial relationship, is the path of honor among gentlemen and scholars, and may possibly prevent or discourage nightly visitations from the Emergency Beatdown Fairy[sup]TM[/sup], or “EBF”, as she is known. Barring that, perhaps some sort of arbitration could be entered into which involves the civil court system as a disinterested third party, in that forum known as “Small Claims Court”. Now _that’s_ showing etiquette. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/9 "2003-09-06T03:00:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Topaz \* > \*\*Perhaps you should keep your smart-assed comments to yourself. \*\* Perhaps you shouldn’t have posted in the Pit if you didn’t want any smart-assed comments. ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/10 "2003-09-06T03:04:02Z")
Perhaps you’re right 😮 ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/11 "2003-09-06T03:17:24Z")
A year or two ago I was in a similar situation - I loaned about $100 to my then-friend who promised she’d pay me back immediately and well, didn’t. It wasn’t even about the money (well, it was a little) but the fact that she kept buying things like expensive clothes while claiming she didn’t have any money and hinting that she might want to borrow more. The last I heard, she owes someone $600 and someone else close to $900. It’s one thing to get friends to help you out occasionally, but it’s quite another to repeatedly use them as long-term interest-free banks and living it up on their generosity. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/12 "2003-09-06T03:18:38Z")
**Topaz** , I feel your pain. Only in MY case, it is some thousands of dollars instead of 50 bucks. My advice to anyone who reads this…NEVER lend money to family or friends and especially to anyone who works with you. Perhaps our retroactive wisdom will prevent someone else from going through this kind of quandry…one can only hope. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/13 "2003-09-06T03:21:48Z")
No perhaps about it. The SDMB ain’t a Live Journal. 'Tis all open to the general membership, and suchlike. Constructively: Go talk to your buddy. Tell him you’re strapped for cash this week, whether you are or not, and ask him if he’s got _any_ of that $50 you loaned him that he can repay right now. Opens the door for him to kick in $10 a week or so, if he’s really that bad off, and lets him off gracefully, if he’s just a shnook who forgot all about it. Not-So-Contrcutively: Tell him you need the $50 by tomorrow lunchtime, no ifs ands or buts. An explanation of why is optional here, as well as the truth of the explanation if you do give one. Really-Not-Constructive: Leave a large print, easy-to-read note on his windshield/front door/locker (whichever’s applicable) that if he doesn’t repay you the $50 you loaned him damn quick, you’re gonna kneecap him/publish the incriminating photos/tell his girlfriend that he spent the money at the local strip joint. Or just write off the $50 as a lesson learned, and don’t lend him any more cash. [sub]But **Wikkit** was right, you know. _We_ didn’t leech fifty bucks off’n ya.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/14 "2003-09-06T03:26:58Z")
Because then, when you don’t get a monthly payment and you have to take out a loan to build a new deck (necessary, the deck guy tore apart the old one BY HAND…it was THAT rotten) and you have to work with that person who owes you megabucks, you might be inclined to …I don’t know what. GRRRR Bitter? Why, how nice of you to ask. Yes, I’m bitter. ---
**Author:** ![Ryle\_Dup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Ryle\_Dup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryle_Dup)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/15 "2003-09-06T03:31:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skeezix \* > \*\*No perhaps about it. The SDMB ain’t a Live Journal. 'Tis all open to the general membership, and suchlike. \*\* Sure isn’t a livejournal, it’s a place to rant and bitch and moan. Maybe you should go bitch at everyone who rants here, instead of telling people to shut up when they’re just venting. ---
**Author:** ![Ryle\_Dup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Ryle\_Dup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryle_Dup)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/16 "2003-09-06T03:35:08Z")
Perhaps ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/17 "2003-09-06T03:36:21Z")
lol ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/18 "2003-09-06T03:39:39Z")
Sweetie, this isn’t the time. Or the thread. Okay? And \*\* Skeezix\*\*? Please disregard that post and be your usual classy self . I’d appreciate it. ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/19 "2003-09-06T03:43:14Z")
Oh My. I’ll just add this one to my “thread destined to explode/die at any moment” list. Let’s all move on, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856/20 "2003-09-06T03:46:23Z")
EXCELLENT idea, dear. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-fucking-pay-me-back/199856.md?page=2)