# Why don't you just give Gates a blowjob on national TV, W? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 7, 2001, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156 "2001-09-07T00:20:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ModernRonin2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@ModernRonin2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ModernRonin2)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/1 "2001-09-07T00:20:39Z")
It’d be more honest. I mean, what the fuck? I say again: **what the fuck???** I like to consider myself a Libertarian. But I am highly opposed to monopolies. A monopoly is called a “market _failure_” for a reason - it’s because _this is not the way the free market is supposed to work_. I realize your brain is pickled with alcohol and clogged with coke, man, but jumping jesus on a pogo stick this is just SO FUCKING BLATANT. Which part of the courts ruling: “Microsoft is a predatory monopoly” did you not understand? So why don’t you just give Bill a blow job on national TV? Hm? Do you think the people of this nation have any respect left for you? Well, they don’t. So just get on your knees and suck it, you fucking corporate whore. And when Bill’s done, he can wipe his dick on your cheek. Because that’s what you deserve. Your party impeached Clinton for lying under oath about who he slept with. (And I have no doubts, he DID lie.) When it came time to remove him from office, the “high crimes and misdemeanors” test written into the constitution showed that the charges leveled against him were not worth the paper they were written on. I wonder, W, whether **selling justice to the highest bidder** would pass that same test. Hm… maybe we should try it and see? -Ben ---
**Author:** ![labdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5fc32e/32.png) [@labdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/labdude)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/2 "2001-09-07T00:57:55Z")
[bill gates voice] 'suck it, suck it. yea! who’s my bitch. ohh yea, go all the way down. i paid a millon bucks for this so ya better make me like it. [/bill gates voice] ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/3 "2001-09-07T01:05:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ModernRonin2 \* > I like to consider myself a Libertarian. But I am highly opposed to monopolies. A monopoly is called a “market _failure_” for a reason - it’s because _this is not the way the free market is supposed to work_. I I suppose your argument would make more sense if Microsoft was, in fact, a monopoly. I think they are certainly guilty of unfair and generally asshollic business practices, but they are not a monopoly, and do not deserve to be split up like Standard Oil or AT&T. (And no, just because some luddite judge says they are a monopoly does not make it true.) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/4 "2001-09-07T01:42:36Z")
Does W spit or swallow? :d&r: ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/5 "2001-09-07T02:19:31Z")
The federal court agreed in part, that MS is a monopoly. Note it is not illegal to have a monopoly. It is illegal to engage in abusive business practices that are anti-competitive, as Microsoft was found to have done. Hmm, I am not gay, but I sure like too see Steve Ballmer do more of that monkeyboy William Gates gets his pipes cleaned. ---
**Author:** ![hansel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6bbea6/32.png) [@hansel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hansel)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/6 "2001-09-07T02:26:49Z")
The federal appeals court said that Microsoft is an abusive monopoly. This is the same court that greased up for them before, several times, and were virtually begging for a reason to let them off the hook. Even then, they didn’t do it. Not a monopoly, my ass. Oh yeah, and they’re innovative, too. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/7 "2001-09-07T02:50:42Z")
…monkeyboy as William… ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/8 "2001-09-07T03:09:15Z")
Hey Ronin… I just want you to know you have shot to the top of my list of favorite posters. stoid ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/9 "2001-09-07T03:47:54Z")
…Thus proving that you are capable of swearing at George W. Bush really well. Better than most of us, as a matter of fact. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/10 "2001-09-07T04:04:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*Does W spit or swallow? > > :d&r: \*\* Rumor is, he snorts. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/11 "2001-09-07T05:26:24Z")
“Landslide” George publicly demonstrates poor grammar, a small vocabulary, a meager grasp of world politics, and now you want him to perform the **worst** hummer ever? Have you considered the geopolitical implications? They are heady, indeed. That little bitch Saddam Hussein will throw a **fit!** And who’s going to explain all this to Laura? The French, of course, will sever all relations with the US **immediately** “But, _le merde,_ zee fucking _Germans_ give better knob that that! _Sacre bleu…_” And what impact will all this have on the Pacific Rim? You really have to stop and consider how this will go down in history. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/12 "2001-09-07T13:33:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ModernRonin2 \* > **I wonder, W, whether selling justice to the highest bidder would pass that same test.** Boy, I bet Jack Welsh is pretty fucking pissed, he gets stuck with spending a half a billion dollars to clean the Hudson, and Gates get’s off scot-free. I guess ol Jack wasn’t quite the highest bidder. Or maybe the White House is taking these things on a case by case basis, one or the other. ---
**Author:** ![ModernRonin2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@ModernRonin2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ModernRonin2)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/13 "2001-09-07T21:18:23Z")
I’m not in favor of breaking up M$. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like them - I hope my rant made that abundantly clear. However, I firmly believe that breaking them up will not stop them from abusing their monopoly, hence it’s not a useful remedy. If I were in charge, there would be much more… “interesting” punishments for M$. Like open-sourcing every last line of source code they own! Bah, ha, ha, ha, HA!! Anyway, glad that those of you who enjoyed the rant enjoyed it. Those of you who disagree, that’s okay with me too. I dunno, maybe this is worth spawning an IMHO thread over. Yeah, it’s been done before, but in light of current events maybe there will be a new round of thoughts on the whole thing. -Ben ---
**Author:** ![Aodoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecb155/32.png) [@Aodoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aodoi)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/14 "2001-09-07T21:31:15Z")
“I did not have sexual relations with that multi-billionaire, Bill Gates…” To be fair, Clinton pardoned the rich, Bush is perhaps just more pro-active. 😉 Not that I necessarily think Bush is even involved. Despite what people think, the president isn’t involved in EVERYthing. ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/15 "2001-09-08T00:04:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*And what impact will all this have on the Pacific Rim? > > You really have to stop and consider how this will go down in history. \*\* The Pac Rim is utter economic carnage. Just as they try to recover from the “Asian Flu,” now there’s a recession in Japan. Just as an example, Gateway Japan laid off their entire company and closed shop, throwing away an estimated 10-15million dollars worth of assets. They didn’t even sell their assets, they just dumped the whole division. Major Japanese manufacturers like Hitachi and Toshiba are reporting layoffs from 1500 to 19,000 people, stiff measures in a “lifetime employment system.” For the first time more than 50% of new college grads are only able to find temp jobs. Unemployment is at rates unseen since the WWII recovery. It’s carnage. And no end in sight. I think Bush is going to go down in history like Herbert Hoover. Just being pro-business doesn’t mean that your business goes well. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Stewart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Dave\_Stewart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Stewart)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2001, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/16 "2001-09-08T04:12:02Z")
Remind me not to invest any money in Microsoft’s competitors. “Dubya the Gobbler”. Someone should make a homoerotic movie with that title. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2001, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/17 "2001-09-08T06:37:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chas.E \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > > \*\*And what impact will all this have on the Pacific Rim? > > > > You really have to stop and consider how this will go down in history. \*\* > > The Pac Rim is utter economic carnage. Just as they try to recover from the “Asian Flu,” now there’s a recession in Japan. Just as an example, Gateway Japan laid off their entire company and closed shop, throwing away an estimated 10-15million dollars worth of assets. They didn’t even sell their assets, they just dumped the whole division. Major Japanese manufacturers like Hitachi and Toshiba are reporting layoffs from 1500 to 19,000 people, stiff measures in a “lifetime employment system.” For the first time more than 50% of new college grads are only able to find temp jobs. Unemployment is at rates unseen since the WWII recovery. It’s carnage. And no end in sight. > I think Bush is going to go down in history like Herbert Hoover. Just being pro-business doesn’t mean that your business goes well. \*\* Uh actually Chas, Japan has been in a long downward spiral since 1991. Sure there have been the odd quarters of anemic growth but the Japan problem is nothing we haven’t seen pretty much every year for the past 10. Lifetime employement system in Japan IIRC at it’s peak only included about 30% of the workforce. China actually is doing reasonably well, and they are a significant part of the Pac Rim. Personally, if I were to blame anyone for the current malaise, it would be good old Greenspan. He had a chance to pop the budding bubble back in the “irrational exuberence” days of late 96/early 97. He fired one shot across the bows, it didn’t work and he gave up. Let me ask this. Does anyone really think that given the massive R&D and end user investment there can be two operating systems that have say a 40-50% market share each? Couldn’t Microsoft be characterized as a really good poker player with deep pockets cleaning out the table rather than cheating bastards with bouncers intimidating the other players? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2001, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/18 "2001-09-08T07:32:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Couldn’t Microsoft be characterized as a really good poker player with deep pockets cleaning out the table rather than cheating bastards with bouncers intimidating the other players? Depends on how you want to look at it. If people choose to hate something, or associate negative attributes to that something, then nothing will change their mind. My own theory is that Microsoft is an easy target for Joe Public because, A: it’s big, and B: everyone else hates it. Not to say that I consider MS to be the epitome of business sainthood… but when people go around nonchalantly accusing Bill Gates of being greedy, when he’s one of the greatest philanthropists (in percentage of his money given to charity) in the modern age, it shows a distinct level of apathy about the actual facts. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2001, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/19 "2001-09-08T12:40:47Z")
Let’s see, who’s Dubya on his knees for, besides Bill Gates? The tobacco companies. (Similar lawsuit deal.) The oil companies. (ANWR.) The auto manufacturers. (Conserve oil? Who, _us?_) The HMOs. (Yeah, more room for people to sue 'em might cost a million people their health coverage - but who’s worried about the 40 million already without insurance?) And on it goes. And it doesn’t matter if he’s not directly involved. He hired a corporate boardroom for his cabinet, knowing which way they’d tilt when the public’s interest and the corporate interests collided. Blow, Dubya, blow! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2001, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156/20 "2001-09-08T12:50:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > when people go around nonchalantly accusing Bill Gates of being greedy, when he’s one of the greatest philanthropists (in percentage of his money given to charity) in the modern age, it shows a distinct level of apathy about the actual facts. WTF? Who’s talking about _greed??_ We’re talking about _abuse of monopoly power_. One thing really doesn’t have much to do with the other. In fact, ‘philanthropy’, done properly, can be just another tool to get people to come grovel to you. (Not that I’m accusing Gates of that, but it’s certainly been done.) I don’t think anybody that matters has ever accused Gates of really caring about the money, _per se_. But does he covet **power**? Hell, yes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-dont-you-just-give-gates-a-blowjob-on-national-tv-w/80156.md?page=2)