# Why evilbeth is a total ho **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 19, 2000, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514 "2000-10-19T09:03:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/21 "2000-10-19T21:55:41Z")
I’m just relieved no one is _seriously_ dissin’ one of my potential lesbian brides-to-be, so I can keep my mighteous rage in check… ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/22 "2000-10-19T22:15:03Z")
Me and the two bitches are laughing at this whole thread. Fergal and Joe are waiting for the two Tennessee gals with almost rabid anticipation. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/23 "2000-10-19T23:49:06Z")
Hey Fergal! Hey Joe! Is there any way we can do MicroManiacs online??? ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2000, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/24 "2000-10-20T08:15:02Z")
I can’t wait to come back to my 3 guys either! Jaysus, how could I leave you three alone in that house, without any food or cutting boards or punch bowl. The only thing for me to do is to move in just like Snow White and the 7 Dwarves. And **Coldy** , you may play Micro-Maniacs with them as soon as their done with their chores. 😉 Hi Beth! How are you today? ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2000, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/25 "2000-10-22T09:38:48Z")
Hey, I’m back! I just endured a hellish midterm exam. But I survived! Now I can bump this back up to the top! Maybe someone will tell me what they _really_ think! 😉 BTW, Brian, BWAAA-HAAAA-HAAAA!!! ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2000, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/26 "2000-10-22T10:33:21Z")
I wuvs you, **bethie**! Now that your brain isn’t being used for important stuff, help me figure out a way to punish **Cubby**. [BitchofTate](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=42961) BTW, according to my calculations, it would be preferable for you to ovulate on Nov. 14 this coming month…please arrange your calendar accordingly. That will give us a good couple of months to recuperate in time for **Dopetoberfest**! ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2000, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/27 "2000-10-22T10:37:34Z")
WooHoo! According to my handy dandy pregnancy calculator, if I get the job done next month, little Canuck Leprechaun will be born on his/her Daddy’s birthday! It’ll be the gift that keeps on giving! Umm, this really doesn’t relate to the OP does it? ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/28 "2000-10-23T05:55:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tatertot \* > \*\* > BTW, according to my calculations, it would be preferable for you to ovulate on Nov. 14 this coming month…please arrange your calendar accordingly. That will give us a good couple of months to recuperate in time for **Dopetoberfest**! \*\* OK, so let me know how to get my body to ovulate on command! My cycle has been a little weird recently so actually, ovulating on that date is not (forgive me!) inconceivable. I worked hard this month but I don’t know anything yet. 😉 Let’s see, November 14th, huh? That gives us an E.T.A. of around middle to late August, right? Well, I’ll get right on it! (No, not _that_, you filthy minded people!) And so far as relating to the OP, we’re talking about me and we’re talking about sex so I guess it has _everything_ to do with the OP! So far as punishing Cubby…let’s see…I think a telephone seranade with him performing either _Rocky Top_ or something as vile as _Achy, Breaky Heart_ would suffice (if you could stand the second one yourself!) Maybe we could force him to watch reruns of the Jeff Foxworthy show while eating a big plate of grits, country ham and red eye gravy. He can even wash it down with an RC cola. And have a Moonpie for dessert! Maybe we should force him to post an entire OP about the origin of the term “redneck” being a reference to honest, hardworking men and women who toiled in the hot Southern sun to grow good, nourishing food. Maybe we could make him admit that the people that live in this area (that I am in) of Tennesee are decended from almost solely Irish and Scottish immigrants! Or hey, all of the above? ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/29 "2000-10-23T06:47:23Z")
Well jeez, **beth** , I was thinking more along the lines of having him wash my car, but your ideas are good, too. And I’m sure if you put your mind to it, you can ovulate any day you wish. And assuming that if you ovulate on the 14th, the due date would be somewhere around the 6th of August. _Plenty_ of time to recuperate for **Dopetoberfest** So, how are you today, sweetie? ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/30 "2000-10-23T07:01:30Z")
Oh, I’m doing great except for work driving me utterly insane! I finally got some sleep today, too! I had had about 7 hours of sleep since Wednesday due to many different things. I worked my regular third shift last night and came home this morning at about 9:30. Since I was going to have to tkae hubby to work at 10:30, I just crashed in the recliner in the living room. When hubby got up this morning, he came out and asked me why I was sleeping in the chair instead of coming to bed. Apparently, I mumbled something that sounded like “work”. He says he then reminded me that he was going to take my car to work and I was going to try to get a ride with someone else. I distinctly remember telling him that we couldn’t do that because I had to have my vehicle to go to the store and to my mom’s house today. Well, he says all that came out of my mouth was a series of grunts and a couple of "uhhh"s. The funny thing was that apparently, I was still inflecting the words as if I were actually saying something distinguishable (?)but that no words were coming out! Hubby then told me to go lay down in bed for a minute and get a few more minutes of sleep and he would come and get me when it was time to go. The next time I woke up was 4:00 this afternoon! Apparently, hubby called my dad and asked him if he would come and pick me up at 6:30 and take me to my parents’ house to see my mom and then take me on to work! It was very confusing to think you are only going to nap for a minute or two and wake up six hourse later! T his is much longer than it needed to be. I guess the answer to your very sweet inquiry is: “fine, and you?” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/31 "2000-10-23T07:02:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tatertot \* > \*\*Well jeez, **beth** , I was thinking more along the lines of having him wash my car, but your ideas are good, too. > \*\* Well, let the punishment fit the crime, I always say! ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/32 "2000-10-23T07:18:19Z")
**beth** , check your e-mail, I’ll send you the details of his even bigger, more heinous crime. Grrrrr…the last time MisterTot tried that one, it was the couch for a week! ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/33 "2000-10-23T07:56:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tatertot \* > \*\ ***beth** , check your e-mail, I’ll send you the details of his even bigger, more heinous crime. Grrrrr…the last time MisterTot tried that one, it was the couch for a week! \*\* Yikes! I see now. Well, I think my punishements are still appropriately harsh! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/34 "2000-10-23T08:19:18Z")
Oh, I don’t know, he seems to have abandoned the idea of being my bitch, and is now looking forward to being some other Foxy Lady’s little bitchboy. Oh the betrayal! How quickly he forgets the good times we’ve had together…humphf, I guess if he’s not willing to work for it, and think up his own punishment, then he’s just not cut out for this bitch business. So, **bethie** when are you available to fly out to Dublin to pick up our new bitches? I’m thinking if we bring enough Jack Daniels, we can get **Yoji** in on the deal, too! Mmmmmmm…I loves my Peter… Oh, wait, I’m not supposed to say these things out loud, am I? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/35 "2000-10-23T08:26:50Z")
Or as one of my favorite phrases goes, “When I think like this, other people can hear me.” ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/36 "2000-10-23T09:20:44Z")
Hey, **beth** , while we’re talking what is up with the West Memphis Three? Last I heard Echols was on death row? Surely they are going to have another trial…damn, I’m going to look it up. I’m still undecided, but in my mind there is enough evidence to warrant a new trial at least. Did you see that documentary? Ooooh, didn’t the step-father just creep you out? I was in Memphis when it happened, you know. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/37 "2000-10-23T09:28:01Z")
Yeah, I know. Yes, Damien is still on death row. He has a trial coming up shortly–I do not know the date. Have you seen both documentaries? Mark Byers is insane! Damien got married last year and he and his wife have a baby. He was on a Yahoo chat last week but I missed it. No one here on the board ever seems that concerned with the case. However, I follow it quite a bit. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/38 "2000-10-23T09:29:10Z")
That “I know” was in response to the post in general–I didn’t actually know that you were in Memphis then! ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/39 "2000-10-23T09:55:04Z")
What?!? They don’t announce my comings and goings in all the Tennessee papers? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514/40 "2000-10-23T13:18:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by evilbeth \* > > Maybe we could force him to watch reruns of the Jeff Foxworthy show while eating a big plate of grits, country ham and red eye gravy. He can even wash it down with an RC cola. And have a Moonpie for dessert! > > \*\* Oh Lord - the next thing in his mouth would probably be the shotgun…:D: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-evilbeth-is-a-total-ho/37514.md?page=3)