# Why get upset if someone parks in front of your house? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 28, 2011, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874 "2011-09-28T13:18:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/141 "2011-09-29T16:14:01Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > There is definitely an urban / suburban divide, I think. > > If you live in the urban core, and there is available parking, at the curb, in front of your place, you have to accept that there is likely to be a steady flow of cars, coming and going. You won’t know any of them, of if they have a ‘reason’ to be there. For people living in such environs it seems childish to care about it, because it’s something that they just accepted as a given, like every other adult on the street. They just don’t give it a thought. > > I would never have guessed people would have such a reaction to something, so seemingly innocent, as a car, legally parked, on the street. That they would consider it rude, weird, mildly creepy, truly does amaze me to learn, as I’ve never known anyone to take issue with such a thing. Cultural/community differences, no doubt. > > Maybe it’s just me, but I’m glad I don’t live with such ‘unwritten codes’, as they seem to cause so much conflict and ill feeling. I’m seeing two different issues: The more suburban one where having a strange car parked in front of your house is different enough to make you notice and wonder who it is. Quiet, low traffic streets where a stranger’s car is unusual. Most surburban folks don’t expect to use street parking- they have driveways and garages. This one is more about situational awareness (which, of course, can go too far) The other issue is people parking in front of your house when you feel that spot is for your car or your company and someone else is encroaching on your space. Urban spots where parking is a premium, so the sense of having something of theirs “taken” is at play (which also can go too far). ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/142 "2011-09-29T16:22:01Z")
We live in the suburbs, and yes - you can park wherever you wish. That said, we had neighbors (dad, mom and two adult daughters) and dad worked as a car salesman. All four of them had a car, as well as the two boyfriends of the two girls (who also lived there) - total of six cars. Every house on this street has a two car garage, but theirs is so full of junk, they couldn’t use it for anything as mundane as a car! Thus, they pretty much took over every free parking spot, every day and night, for the past 6 years. (They just moved away last month.) Why was it annoying? Well, turning into my own house, and pulling into my garage (which we oddly use to park our two cars), I would have to constantly swing out further into the other lane when pulling in or out of the garage. Additionally, when my brother or cousin would come to visit, and try to park in front of our house, they would get bent out of shape as if “their” spot was taken. Once they actually parked one of the cars so it would take up two spaces - saving it for when one of the kids got home and then they would move it. In the grand scheme of things, it never caused me to have ulcers, but it was rude and inconsiderate. If they had cleaned out the garage, two of the six cars could have fit in there - plus park two more in the driveway. But no - it was far easier to park in front of every neighbor’s house. Fuck us if we had visitors who might need to park within a 500 yard vicinity. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/143 "2011-09-29T16:34:13Z")
> [@Borzo](#): > > This thread surprises me. I never thought grown adults would have so much trouble with sharing a public space. > > And the lawn chair thing… that’s just weird and terribly inappropriate. I’d get my friend with a pickup to drive around the neighbourhood collecting all the free lawn chairs until people stopped putting them out. Why is it inappropriate? You’ve gone to a certain amount of trouble to shovel out your own car. You have to go somewhere. Then you want to come home… and if someone has taken the space you spent a lot of time making available, you have NOWHERE to park. If you left the space “open”, anyone could come along and park there and they’d be within their rights. Putting a chair there says “hey, I had to work for this, please respect that”. After a blizzard about 16 years ago, we had to dig our car out (nose-in parking spaces in front of our townhouse) and went grocery shopping. While we were out, the next-door neighbors went out, came back, and parked halfway into our space. We had nowhere else to go. We knocked on their door and asked them to come out and do something about the car (they had to do a bit more shovelling, but we were finally both able to park). ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/144 "2011-09-29T16:35:20Z")
It’s not that I can’t see it’s annoying. Several of the circumstances cited are righteously annoying, such as yours. I understand it’s not giving you an ulcer or anything, and I can see why you view it as rude - 6 years is a long time. If there is available parking anywhere else on the street though, why bother getting upset at all? So you can’t park in _this_ spot, and you have to park in _that_ one. What’s the difference? Half a block? A block? Enough to get miffed over? I guess it must be, judging by the responses here, not quite sure I understand why. Moving a load of bricks? I get it, sure. But the day to day? Not so much. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/145 "2011-09-29T17:07:36Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > Most people would agree that if you go around saying “I acknowledge your right to park here, but if you do, I am going to come out and give you the stink-eye” as an attempt to prevent people from exercising their right to park there. Well, way to to totally misrepresent **Vihaga** ’s post. Actual quote: “I acknowledge his right to park there, but it still annoys the living shit out of me.” Nothing in there, or elsewhere in his/her post, about giving someone the stink-eye, from inside or out. > [@](#): > > “Right” does not always mean a legal right. The usage of “right” is other contexts is well-attested, even if it is somewhat casual. When somebody says, “A spouse has a right to be consulted before making a RSVP when a couple has been invited to an event,” are you truly perplexed and believe the person is saying the spouse could go to court and get an injunction? I concur that ‘right’ doesn’t always mean a legal right. But it still doesn’t mean anything you want it to. Hell, I’ve never seen it used as you do in your example. And as extensive a reader as I’ve been during my life, I’ve certainly never seen it used as you did upthread. So quit bitchin’ that I didn’t read your post properly. If you were misunderstood, it’s your own damned fault. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/146 "2011-09-29T17:12:28Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I concur that ‘right’ doesn’t always mean a legal right. But it still doesn’t mean anything you want it to. Hell, I’ve never seen it used as you do in your example. And as extensive a reader as I’ve been during my life, I’ve certainly never seen it used as you did upthread. Apparently not so extensively as to include another thread in this very forum called [“Does a spouse-rejecting parent have a right to see their grandchild?”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=626063), which is not at all about a legal remedy and almost exactly as I used it above. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/147 "2011-09-29T17:42:39Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > Apparently not so extensively as to include another thread in this very forum called [“Does a spouse-rejecting parent have a right to see their grandchild?”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=626063), which is not at all about a legal remedy and almost exactly as I used it above. Feel free to believe that. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/148 "2011-09-29T17:52:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Why is it inappropriate? I realize it’s a community/cultural thing, but in my community it would be very inappropriate. Instead of an unwritten code, we all agree to be adult about it and accept that once you drive off, you take your chances coming back, in a public space. Since everyone is playing by the same rules, it works very well and there is no conflict. And I live where there’s a lot of snow! It would be seen as extremely rude, to keep anyone else from parking there, all day, so you could reserve it, for your own use, on your return. It would also be extremely impractical, as the snow plow drivers are, no way, going to drive around a bunch of chairs or cans. And in skirting your spot, they will be filling it with the snow that should be piling up at the curb, as they pass. ‘Inappropriate’ is clearly community/culturally based, on this, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/149 "2011-09-29T18:07:18Z")
Please. You have just as many unwritten codes in your own community. You just don’t notice them as much because you’re used to abiding by them. Folks in the suburbs generally understand the concept of not parking in front of someone else’s house. It’s not some big to-do, nor does everyone necessarily get bent out of shape. You just find an appropriate place to park and get on with your life. It’s only when cultures meet that everything seems like a big conflict, because culture A isn’t familiar with the rituals culture B does regularly and assumes that because culture A is unused to them and would have to make a conscious effort to worry about them that culture B must have a big problem with it too. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/150 "2011-09-29T18:21:45Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Er, um, I don’t think I did say this: > > ..at all? > > I said I was surprised to learn people felt this way, that it seems childish to those urban dwellers who never give such things a thought, that it was a cultural/community difference, no doubt. That I am surprised, you feel the way your do, is a different thing from thinking it’s wrong. > > You seem somewhat oversensitive to more than just a parked car, now. This whole thread is silly, TBH. Culture is different and that’s all there is to it. You may ascribe whatever motives to us suburbia dwellers you wish. Enjoy! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/151 "2011-09-29T18:26:58Z")
I live in a corner house off a fairly bust street. People use my driveway to pull when they want to change directions on the busy street. It pisses my wife off. I don’t know why. When she does not put the car in the garage, she parks in the middle of the driveway to prevent people using it. When cars on the bust street break down, they get pushed around the corner. That puts them in front of my house. That also pisses her off. After 2 days she call the cops to tow them away. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/152 "2011-09-29T18:49:03Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > Why is it inappropriate? You’ve gone to a certain amount of trouble to shovel out your own car. You have to go somewhere. Then you want to come home… and if someone has taken the space you spent a lot of time making available, you have NOWHERE to park. > > If you left the space “open”, anyone could come along and park there and they’d be within their rights. Putting a chair there says “hey, I had to work for this, please respect that”. > > After a blizzard about 16 years ago, we had to dig our car out (nose-in parking spaces in front of our townhouse) and went grocery shopping. While we were out, the next-door neighbors went out, came back, and parked halfway into our space. We had nowhere else to go. We knocked on their door and asked them to come out and do something about the car (they had to do a bit more shovelling, but we were finally both able to park). When I lived in Montreal, which gets lots of snow every year, they don’t have this system. Yet people manage. I was trying to figure out how. I think I understand. There are two things going on: A. You can’t possibly put lawn chairs, etc., in parking spaces because they’d be in the way of the snow plows. This has been mentioned in this thread. But the corallary hasn’t been: B. Snow plows in Montreal clear the parking spaces! So you don’t have to shovel them yourself. At least the ones along the street, and in many other places as well. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/153 "2011-09-29T18:51:48Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > B. Snow plows in Montreal clear the parking spaces! So you don’t have to shovel them yourself. At least the ones along the street, and in many other places as well. Socialist. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/154 "2011-09-29T19:07:21Z")
I don’t mind. But Blackjack would tear their throats out if he could get loose. I do have a problem with people that park in my driveway. They have their own apartments, that they can only afford with my help. Why do they keep coming back here? One of them works in a restaurant. Why does he have to come here to eat? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/155 "2011-09-29T19:51:08Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > If you left the space “open”, anyone could come along and park there and they’d be within their rights. Putting a chair there says “hey, I had to work for this, please respect that”. I do respect that. For about 48 hours after the storm. After that, it reverts to public street and it’s catch as catch can. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/156 "2011-09-29T19:57:45Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I do have a problem with people that park in my driveway. They have their own apartments, that they can only afford with my help. Why do they keep coming back here? One of them works in a restaurant. Why does he have to come here to eat? LOL kids? I live on a street where there is no parking available for blocks around. When we had our driveway paved we had to park 3 blocks away and walk in for 3 days. I’m sure that the people whose block we parked on were unimpressed. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/157 "2011-09-29T20:12:07Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Please. You have just as many unwritten codes in your own community. You just don’t notice them as much because you’re used to abiding by them. > > Folks in the suburbs generally understand the concept of not parking in front of someone else’s house. It’s not some big to-do, nor does everyone necessarily get bent out of shape. You just find an appropriate place to park and get on with your life. Also, it’s just weird because suburban houses tend to have a fair amount of street frontage (like 80-100 feet around here), so unless someone down the street is throwing a party, a person parking in front of your house had to walk along a mostly, if not entirely, unoccupied stretch of roadside in order to get to his own driveway or front walk, or that of the house he’s visiting. You can’t help but go ‘WTF?’ > [@](#): > > It’s only when cultures meet that everything seems like a big conflict, because culture A isn’t familiar with the rituals culture B does regularly and assumes that because culture A is unused to them and would have to make a conscious effort to worry about them that culture B must have a big problem with it too. Like the bit with putting the lawn chair in your shoveled-out parking spot in the city. It’s the sort of thing where it works if everybody claims the space they shoveled, or if nobody does. But if everyone’s not on the same page, it can get messy. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/158 "2011-09-29T21:02:01Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > No, it’s when they are visiting someone across the street and park in front of your house even when there’s room over there that you go 😕. _shrug_ It still isn’t a big deal, just a little but weird. In our town, you can be ticketed for parking facing the wrong direction (i.e., parking on the left side of the street). If I am visiting someone who is on the left as I approach, I’m going to park on the right and walk across the street instead of making a U-turn or looping around a block or two. Don’t you do that? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/159 "2011-09-29T21:27:22Z")
> [@delphica](#): > > (bolding mine) > > I’m not picking on you at all, because you seem completely reasonable, but quoted your post because it specifically mentions something I wonder about … maybe I am more clueless than average, but usually I don’t monitor the parking on my street that closely, so I don’t generally know what reason a person may or may not have had for parking in a particular area. If the street is empty, the car parked close to one’s house might seem odd, but at the time the person parked, it might have been more crowded. Or there could have been a delivery truck blocking access to some spaces. Or they may have had a passenger who needed assistance exiting the back seat, which made them choose a spot on the opposite side of the street from their own house. Or any other number of reasons that would be impossible to discern after the fact, but don’t imply any malice or even weirdness. > > I feel like a number of posters have mentioned that the parking for _no reason_ is what bothers them, and I’m confused by that. Why do people park anywhere? > > For what it’s worth, I live in a city where you park wherever you find a spot, it’s not at all connected to what’s in front of people’s homes. The idea of “saving” a spot would be insane, because there’s such a premium on parking. Seriously? It’s easy. If there are other places available, then you don’t need to park there. Just like, in an elevator, you might be okay with someone being rather close to you. But in a large room, it creeps you out. It has nothing to do with ownership, and I don’t know why people think so. It has to do with the basic politeness of causing the least amount of offense possible. If something bothers someone, and it’s no big deal for you not to do it, you don’t do it. Unless you are intentionally trying to be an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874/160 "2011-09-29T21:36:46Z")
ADDED: Really, it makes no sense to park in front of one house when you are going to another house that has plenty of room. There’s a plethora of reasons people usually park close to where they are going, and very few to park far away. That’s a lot of the problem. If there’s no good reason for you to do it, people assume there must be a bad reason. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-get-upset-if-someone-parks-in-front-of-your-house/597874.md?page=9)