# Why give your child a name like this? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 22, 2003, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765 "2003-05-22T07:14:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![foxymoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@foxymoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxymoron)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/141 "2003-12-13T02:40:54Z")
**Lando** , my sister-in-law’s brother and his wife named their daughter Abcde. The grandparents were less than thrilled, and so the child is known by both her first and middle names, depending on who is talking. I recently met two young sisters named Abracadabra (“Abra”, for short) and Potpourri. My husband ( **leenmi** ) wanted very much to name our son Somebody Nmi (for No Middle Initial). I told him he could have one name or the other, but not both. (We went with Nmi, as a middle name of course.) ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/142 "2003-12-13T02:43:34Z")
A client once described in vivid detail how his town used to have dentist practicing there named Donald Duck. Mind you, I’ve met a Dr. Steve Duck at my church as a kid, so I know Duck is a real last name, but Donald is just too much to stick on there. ---
**Author:** ![foxymoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@foxymoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxymoron)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/143 "2003-12-13T03:03:28Z")
Oh! I forgot to mention my childhood dentist Dr. Molar! ---
**Author:** ![xayoz306](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xayoz306](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xayoz306)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/144 "2003-12-13T03:18:54Z")
I have been trying to convince my wife to name one of our children **xxqjuzv** (pronounced **Bob** ) ---
**Author:** ![karomon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@karomon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/karomon)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/145 "2003-12-13T03:19:20Z")
I used to go to to school with a girl named Yrcania, pronounced “Eeganyah”. I think she liked her name. ---
**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/146 "2003-12-13T04:47:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flamsterette\_X \* > \*\*Hey, **Sinshine** … take a look at the second post in this thread. There’s another cite for you about the Toughest Contest Ever. 🙂 > > F\_X \*\* So noted. Thank you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/147 "2003-12-13T04:50:42Z")
Oooh, I forgot about this former cow-orker. She musta enjoyed the seventies a bit more than some of us did, her only child was a girl named Misty Dawn. That’s a fricking weather occurence, not something to saddle a kid with! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/148 "2003-12-13T04:54:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Queen Tonya \* > \*\*Oooh, I forgot about this former cow-orker. She musta enjoyed the seventies a bit more than some of us did, her only child was a girl named Misty Dawn. > > That’s a fricking weather occurence, not something to saddle a kid with! \*\* Actually, IIRC, she’s a porn star. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/149 "2003-12-13T05:18:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Copper\_moon \* > \*\*I was driving the other morning and heard this on the radio: > “We’ll now turn to our up-to-the-minute traffic commentator, **Page Turner**. Page, how’s it looking out there?” > > Too bad she didn’t turn out to be a novelist\*\* It’s really quite common for traffic reporters to not use their real names. I’d imagine they would get a bunch of hate mail otherwise. You know how some people blame the meteorologists for the weather. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/150 "2003-12-13T07:47:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lando Griffin \* > > Prononced: Orangelo & Lemongelo \*\* This is probably the most “notorious” or most-commonly-cited set of names whenever this topic is brought up. (This is probably the 10th thread like this on this board alone, and I know it’s always been brought up in the past) ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/151 "2003-12-13T15:51:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > Actually, IIRC, she’s a porn star. I really really hope that’s someone else’s stage name! I used to help this girl with her homework when she’d come into work after school and wait for Mom to finish for the day. I’m just not ready to wrap my head around a child I actually knew being an adult film actress, ick! Of course, if it _is_ her, and I ever see her Mom again, how the hell will I stop myself from a massive “I told you so”? ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/152 "2003-12-13T16:54:59Z")
I went to high school with **Merry Christmas Trees**. She had male relatives named, among others, **Jack Pine Trees** and **Pine Forrest Trees**. I swear I am not making this up. I also used to have a page from the Homestead, FL phone book that I carried around with me for years because nobody would believe me otherwise – the listing was for a man named **Pud Fudphucker**. Apparently his wife insisted on keeping her maiden name, according to my friend who gave me the page. But the phone company ex-directoried him the year his name ended up first on a page and would have had to be put in bold at the top, or at least so I was informed. All I will swear to is that he really was listed once upon a time. I also have a cousin who gave had a son who died right after birth, and I’ve always sworn it was because of the name she gave him. She named him after two family friends, **Bracken Waxy**. Which wasn’t so bad except their last name was **Ball**. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/153 "2003-12-13T20:32:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sinshine \* > \*\*So noted. Thank you. 😃 \*\* No problem! F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/154 "2003-12-13T21:50:30Z")
I have a friend at school called Brittany Spearman. She’s 17, though, so it’s just a coincidence. I find it amusing when she gets called over the intercom. “Brittany Spear…man to the office, please.” ---
**Author:** ![tolyri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@tolyri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tolyri)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/155 "2003-12-14T01:34:01Z")
From MSN Entertainment (bolding mine) > [@](#): > > He has been on a ventilator in intensive care at Wexham Park Hospital in Slough, west of London. Hospital medical director **Dr. Dick Jack** has said he expects the 55-year-old “Black Sabbath” star to make a steady recovery. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2003, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/156 "2003-12-14T05:57:38Z")
These names are from _The Odd Index_ by Stephen J. Spignesi: > [@](#): > > **87 People Named for Body Parts, Diseases, Medications, Cosmetics, or Something Having to Do with Sex** > > A. Pimple > Abolena Sweat > Ammonia > Angina Keys > Appendicitis > Aspriri > Autopsy > Bernard Nicewanger > Blanch Kidney > Bobby Joe Gothard > Castor Oil > Charlie Hymen > Chlorine > Chloroform > Citroniella > Constance Hiccup > Constipation > Cornelia Tonsil > Depression > Diaphragm > Dichloramentine > Dick Wacker > Digesta > Diptheria > Distemper > Doloris Puke > Douche > Duncas Hymen > Edward Vagina > Esophagus > Exczema > Fallopian > Flu > Fred Dilldoe > Fuk Eyw > Gladys Pantzeroff > Glycine > Granuloma > Halitosis > Hang Nails > Hernia > Hyman Pleasure > I.P. Blood > Iodine > Iona Outhouse > Kotex > Larry Ovary > Latrina > Lee Lung > Lemaza Hotballs > Listerine > Maria Piles > Meconium > Meninges > Menses > Morphine > Mr. Balls > Mr. Fuck > Nancy Nipples > Nausaeous > Nausea > Ophelia Rottincrotch > Penis > Placenta > Placenta Previa > Poopie > Positive Wasserman > Pregmancy > Pyelitis > Rectum > Sal Hepatica > Saline > Saliva Brown > Smallpox Dingle > Steve Spleen > Syphilis > Thomas Headache > Thomas Measles > Thyroid > Toilet Preparations > Twila Anus > Urine > Uvula > Vagina > Valve > Vaseline > Vomita Willis > > **37 People with Names for Which, I’m Sure, There Are Good Explanations** > > Artificial Flowers > Auditorium > Beautiful Swindler > Bigamy > Charity Ward > Devotee War > Emancipation Proclamation Freedom > Fertilizer > Gasoline > Immaculate Conception > Kidnap > Larceny > Large Smash > League of Nations > Let’s Stay Here > Leverage > Libel > Limousine > Machine > Magazine > Miscellaneous > No Parking > Petty Larceny > Pictorial Review > Refund > Sparkplug > Sylvania > Thermal > Tomb > Try-em-and-See > Victrola > Weatherstrip > What > X.Y.Z. > Y.Z. > Z. > > **97 People Whose Names Were Probably a Source of Merciless Torment on the Playground** > > Amazon > Average > Boozer > Bright > Charles Smellybelly > Constance Stench > Critic > Crook > Cute > Darling > Delerious > Delight > Dimples > Dream-Child > Equal > Etta Roach > Evil > Extra > Fairest > Famous > Fatty > Favorite > Felony > Fertilizer > Filthy McNasty > Flake > Flunkey > Fool Head > Foreward March > Free Love > Gift of God > Hallowed > Handsome > Haphazard > Hasty > Hazard > Heathen > Himself > Honest > Hot > Hot Shot > Ima Goose > Ima Rose Bush > Ima Valentine > John Smellie > Jolly > Knowledge > Largie > Lassie > Lawless > Lawyer > Lonely > Looney > Looney Head > Lord > Love > Love Bird > Low > Lucifer > Lucky Blunder > Luscious > Margaret Black Butts > Midget > Modest > Normal > Old > Peculier > Perfect > Person > Pleasant > Poor Boy > Right > Rimmer > Roach > Rodent > Rudolph Goldshitter > Silent > Soggie > Special > Strange Odor Andrews > Suck > Sylvester Smells > Tiny Small > Too Late > Toy > Trouble > Truly White > Tweetie > Unexpected > Useless > Vice > Wealthy > Weary > Willibald Thumbfart > Wimpy > Wonderful > Zero > > **35 People Whose Names Nicely Fit Their Occupations** > > Albert Palm: Masseur > Arthur Blessit: Baptist evangelist > Brenda Love: author of _The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Positions_ > Deloris Hearsum: Deaf typist for a deaf social agency > Denver Driver: Truck driver > Don Tree: Gardener > Donald Moos: Washington state official in charge of dairy reports > Dorothy Reading: Librarian > Filmore Graves: Mortician > Frank Deadman: Mortician > Gordon Marsh: Biologist > Hazel Wolf: Works for the Audubon Society > Jack Putz: Golf pro > James Bond: Detective > James Bugg: Exterminator > John Barber: Barber > Judge Judge: Judge > Ken Priest: Protestant minister > Lee Coffin: Mortician > Max Money: Tax collector > Michael Angelo: Artist > Michael Fox: Veterinarian > Milo B. High: Elvis’ pilot > Mr. Brain: Teacher > Mr. Bury: Mortician > Mr. Sexsmith: Marriage counsellor > Mrs. Bowman: Archery instructor > Mrs. Cook: Baking teacher > Muffin Fry: Baker > Ronald Drown: Lifeguard > Sam Wood: Lumber dealer > Storm Field: Weatherman > Sweep Hand: Watch repairman > Virgil Buryman: Mortician > Wake Doom: Mortician > > **21 Doctors Who Probably Have to Talk About Their Names a Lot** > > Dr. Bees: Veterinary assistant (to Dr. Lyons) > Dr. Blood: Hematologist > Dr. Brain: Neurologist > Dr. Cartledge: Podiatrist > Dr. Childs: Pediatrician > Dr. Cure: Doctor > Dr. Docter: Doctor > Dr. Dolphin: Veterinarian > Dr. Eather: Anesthesiologist > Dr. Head: Neurologist > Dr. Heard: Eye, Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist > Dr. Hertz: Chiropractor > Dr. Jack Fealy: Gynecologist > Dr. Leak: Urologist > Dr. Lyons: Veterinarian > Dr. Organ: Doctor > Dr. Saw: Orthopedist > Dr. Sawbones: Doctor > Dr. Shrink: Psychiatrist > Dr. Will Diddle: Obstetrician / Gynecologist > Dr. Willian Rash: Dermatologist > > **3 Nurses Who Picked the Right Specialty** > > A. Nurse: Nurse > Ida Toomer: Oncology nurse > Prue Cramp: OB / GYN nurse > > **48 People Having Food Names or Names Having Something to Do with Food** > > Apple Cider > Baby Ruth > Bannana > Barbara Beans > Champagne > Cold Turkey > Dill Pickle > Gardenia Salad > Garlic > Hearty Meal > Herb Rice > Hershey Bar > Hominy > Ice Cream > Jelly Bean > Lemon Custer > Lemon Freeze > Lettuce Fields > Liza Cucumber > Loin > Lunch > Margarine > Mazola > Meat Grease > Meat Loaf > Oatmeal > Oleomargarine > Olive Green > Orange Jello > Orangeade > Piece O. Cake > Pork Chop > Sam Broccoli > Sam Omelette > Sasparilla > Sausage > Soda > Spicy Fudge > Strawberry Commode > Summer Butter > Turnip > Utensil > Vanilla > Watermellon Patch > Weldon Rumproast > Wheat Bread > Whisky > Wine F\_X F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/157 "2003-12-16T19:52:42Z")
My dad always threatened to name his soon-to-arrive kids “Mahershalerhashbaz” (or however you spell it), which was Isaiah’s son’s name. He would stick to this with a straight face in front of family friends until he got my mom good and bothered. ---
**Author:** ![carimwc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac8455/32.png) [@carimwc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carimwc)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/158 "2003-12-16T20:39:46Z")
I have a friend whose married name is now Christal White. She likes to joke about naming one of her kids Snow. My HS phsyics teacher was named Mr. Hoar. (Pronounced just like whore.) And yes, his wife did take his last name so she was Mrs. Hoar. They had 2 kids. Poor things. ---
**Author:** ![carimwc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac8455/32.png) [@carimwc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carimwc)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/159 "2003-12-16T20:41:02Z")
And that’s physics not phsyics. I can spell. Really I can. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765/160 "2003-12-16T22:05:35Z")
A roommate I had in college had the first and middle names of “John Thomas” (I’m relying on our Brit dopers to 'splain this to any 'Merkin dopers who don’t know why it’s so funny.). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-give-your-child-a-name-like-this/176765.md?page=9)