# Why global warming can lick my balls. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 28, 2003, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395 "2003-01-28T02:33:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Deep\_Throat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@Deep\_Throat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deep_Throat)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/1 "2003-01-28T02:33:53Z")
I just read in a CNN article that soon enough, global warming will have melted the ice caps enough that a shiping route would be able to cut through the artic. That fucking sucks. The only things that would make that not shitty are hover cars, Baywatch: Detroit, and CHiPs on DVD. [source: CNN.com](http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/science/01/27/arctic.ice.reut/index.html) Yeah, so I want to bitch about this, but I am just so tired right now. Lick my balls global warming, you really piss me off. Everybody else, I wasted your time. However, you can get it back by licking my balls. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/2 "2003-01-28T02:37:41Z")
Uhhh…Esprix? Didn’t we settle this already? One trick pony and all? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/3 "2003-01-28T03:11:00Z")
**Karp2381** ; I’m not going to bother to place links, but this is the fourth post of yours I’ve read, and this is the fourth time I’ve seen you use the “lick my balls” phrase. Got a real hangup there, eh Dude? ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/4 "2003-01-28T03:21:48Z")
Maybe he’s just _really_ desperate for someone/something to lick his balls. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/5 "2003-01-28T03:22:13Z")
I’m surprised his balls aren’t chafed and chapped, what will all this licking going on. ---
**Author:** ![Deep\_Throat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@Deep\_Throat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deep_Throat)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/6 "2003-01-28T03:24:14Z")
Ok, ok. I’ll stop with the licking of my balls. All are now to permitted to suck them if they desired. But seriously, despite my imaturity at making points with the licking, uh, i mean sucking of my testicles, global warming does suck a fatty. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/7 "2003-01-28T03:31:39Z")
After having to stand outside in the freezing ass cold this morning to scrape the frost off of my car, I’m up for a little global warming. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/8 "2003-01-28T03:33:53Z")
Wow - Eric Cartman is now a Doper… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/9 "2003-01-28T03:38:45Z")
Man oh Man! Someone is several helpings shy of their ability to express in a diverse manner food group. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/10 "2003-01-28T13:41:07Z")
-What did you say??!! -Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. What I actually meant to say was, **HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO LICK MY BALLS,** Mr. Garrison? -Holy shit, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/11 "2003-01-30T19:50:37Z")
My theory is that global warming will perfectly counteract the next ice age and create a perfect enviornment. ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/12 "2003-01-30T20:05:17Z")
In a nice warm climate people will be free to engage in more ball licking. > [@](#): > > global warming does suck a fatty. No wonder everyone likes it so much! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/13 "2003-01-30T20:50:58Z")
Karp, ol’ buddy, do you have a problem with suppressed homosexuality? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/14 "2003-01-30T21:12:16Z")
I want to be the first guy to get his balls licked in a hovercraft. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/15 "2003-01-30T21:17:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*I want to be the first guy to get his balls licked in a hovercraft. \*\* …while watching Baywatch on DVD. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/16 "2003-01-30T21:25:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amp \* > \*\*…while watching Baywatch on DVD. \*\* In detroit, eating some chips. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/17 "2003-01-30T22:12:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Karp2381 \* > \*\*I just read in a CNN article that soon enough, global warming will have melted the ice caps enough that a shiping route would be able to cut through the artic. That fucking sucks. \*\* Why would a shipping lane through the Artic “fucking suck”? Since the mass of the ice displaces the same amount of water as the mass of the melted water, it will not affect ocean levels. So what is the big problem with the Arctic ice cap melting? ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/18 "2003-01-30T22:15:09Z")
not to hijack the thread (or stop all of this testicle pleasuring) but I want to clarify a point made by bongmaster > [@](#): > > My theory is that global warming will perfectly counteract the next ice age and create a perfect enviornment Actually, some scientists believe that global warming could cause another ice age. Temperatures rise melting the ice caps releasing a sackload of fresh water into our salty oceans. This disrupts the undersea currents responsible for circulating warm water around the world. The world gets colder. Interface2x gets even colder scraping ice off his windshield. Mankind finds shrinkage unavoidable. I don’t have a site, but it’s paraphrased from “Mapping the Deep” by Robert Kunzig. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find someone to lick my balls. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/19 "2003-01-30T22:18:18Z")
posted by js\_africanus > [@](#): > > Since the mass of the ice displaces the same amount of water as the mass of the melted water, it will not affect ocean levels. So what is the big problem with the Arctic ice cap melting? The problem isn’t the ice in the water melting. It’s the ice supported by a land mass (i.e. the antarctic continent) breaking off or melting that would cause the problem. ---
**Author:** ![dietrologia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@dietrologia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dietrologia)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395/20 "2003-01-30T22:57:50Z")
Any “CHiPs” fan worth his or her salt would know that the show is “CHiPs” with the " ", not _CHiPs_. Shove off, poseur! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-global-warming-can-lick-my-balls/151395.md?page=2)