Ok, but when Supes pees, why isn’t it like a bright yellow laser of death cleaving buildings and trees down? Even if he pinched it off to slow the flow he’d still at least blow the porcelain of the pisser.
More importantly, how does Bizarroworld e. coli work? Is everything backward there?
Me am loving when take Bizarro poop. :eek:
Taste like chicken.
Well, depending on the specific fragment, the bacteria might temporarily sprout a nucleus, or extra flagella; or they might briefly transform into the intestinal flora of the mighty Kryptonian drang; or part of their cell wall might mutate into the membrane structure of gut flora native to ants or lions; or they might be split into a Gram-Positive and Gram-Negative version.
In all cases, of course, the bacteria will be forced to rely on extraordinarily contrived misdirection to keep the condition secret from Earth bacteria until the effect wears off.
What about Kryptonian Eyelash Mites?
Or Kryptonian Dust Mites
Or… the list goes on.
Maybe Jor-el passed him through one of those treatments to kill all his exterior (and maybe interior) flora and fauna, a la The Andromeda Strain just to keep the Earth Safe from Kryptonian micro-organisms
of course, all those Phantom Zone prisoners probably carried things on them, too.
And there’s Argo City…
And Kandor, of course. They’d have micro-miniature superorganisms that got out when the League of Teeny-Tiny Supermen emerged.
We must recall that Krypton boasted an ancient, technologically advanced society, and so the population presumably had ample time to rid itself of any troublesome ectoparasites.
Then too, Kryptonian parasites simply will not become hungry on Earth; so we are spared the prospect of swarms of superpowered dust mites stripping their victims of flesh like a hellish whirlwhind, or of unfortunate terrestrial canines being explosively inhaled by Krypto-nian fleas.
Of course such superpowered creatures will presumably still reproduce; and since they have no natural checks on their population, we might expect our fragile Earth to be swiftly overwhelmed by a plague of such microorganisms. However, there are two important factors to take into account:
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All Kryptonian organisms gain the power of flight under a yellow sun.
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Fleas and dust mites are very, very stupid.
This second point, I submit, still applies when one factors in the benefit of super-intelligence; frankly I think a superintelligent dust mite likely isn’t going to have that much of an intellectual edge on a normal dust mite, even by comic book rules.
So there’s going to be nothing keeping these critters on Earth; even before they get around to mating, they’ll go haring off into deep space at near-luminal speeds. Eventually they’ll either take up residence inside the Sun itself (which admittedly might present a problem all its own in the long run), or else wander randomly through the Galaxy until they pass through a red solar system, at which point they’re hosed.
Chekov: “Kepten! We have hull breach on deck nine”
Kirk: “Spock!”
Spock (laconically) “Captain, we appear to have been impacted by an eyelash mite.”
As Larry Niven pointed out in his Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex, there’s a related problem with his sperm.
Everytime he masturbates or has a wet dream, he releases a scourge upon the land.
Superman has the power to split into two Supermen, and each one is only half as powerful as ther original. So, after a Superbacteria becomes weaker each time it divides. After it has divided a few times, it is no more powerful than an Earth bacteria.