# Why have I been cursed to poofy swimwear? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 8, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460 "2005-03-08T00:20:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/1 "2005-03-08T00:20:24Z")
Warning: Girlie clothing rant ahead… FYI Clothing manufacturers: covering something with a TENT of fabric does not minimize it. Allow me to explain: I am a young girl (19) who’s not as thin as I could be, but damnit- I like going to the beach as much as anybody else. My problem lies within finding flattering swimwear. Look, I get it: everyone has trouble finding a flattering swimsuit, but my resources are MUCH more limited then a girl who is a size 6. The stores that I usually shop in (Lane Bryant, Torrid, et al) offer a very limited supply- even through their websites. Even then, the suits these stores have in stock are far from flattering and are quite matronly. I mean, I’m not even THAT big Every single website that I have found that caters to plus sized (16+) swimsuits has a stock composed of (mostly…like 75%) skirted suits. That doesn’t make me look any thinner people- who do you think you are fooling by throwing a tent on my hips? Honestly. Am I asking too much when I ask for a nice, simple, halter top suit that’ll hold up my girls and cover up my jiggly spots a bit? Am I asking too much when I ask for a suit that isn’t some Og- awful, bright, floral pattern that has a big, poofy skirt sticking out on either side of my ass? Sometimes I really wish I was a guy. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/2 "2005-03-08T00:27:02Z")
I have an extremely boring swimsuit with a normalish bottom though it has an odd arrangement of back-straps. I am also not as thin as I could be, alas, though efforts are being made in that direction. I wear nylon shorts with my suit, though, as it is ridiculously high-cut. Dunno what the manufacturer was thinking. There does seem to be an overabundance of matronly swimwear. It would just be cheaper to make a sign saying, “Look at my huge flowered ass!”, wouldn’t it? Next life, I will be a man. A tall skinny man. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/3 "2005-03-08T00:46:17Z")
If you’re having trouble finding a swimsuit that looks good on you, you could always do without. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/4 "2005-03-08T00:54:48Z")
**ybeayf** , I’m pretty sure there are laws against that sort of thing…I could be wrong though. You try it out and get back to me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/5 "2005-03-08T00:56:00Z")
May I humbly suggest [www.landsend.com](http://www.landsend.com)…they are the only people I’ve found who make suits that have actual architecture, but at least some of which don’t make you feel like you’re 93 years old. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/6 "2005-03-08T00:57:24Z")
Uhhh…that should be: > **[Lands' End: Sweaters, Flannel Shirts, Matching Family Pajamas, Comfy Fleece](https://www.landsend.com/)** > > Lands' End is a classic American lifestyle brand with a passion for quality, legendary service & real value. We seek to deliver timeless style for women, men, kids and the home. Shop lasting quality women's swimsuits, men's dress pants & kids... ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/7 "2005-03-08T02:04:10Z")
Go with a one-piece swim suit and a pair board shorts to cover your ass and thighs. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/8 "2005-03-08T02:07:09Z")
**UrbanChic** , you have discovered the base of the problem: all the designers think I want to cover my jiggy thighs–I like them and they need a tan, too. No shorts for me. I would happily get a one piece if I could find one that actually fits properly. 😃 I’m serious about the whole wishing I was a man thing. ---
**Author:** ![chukhung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@chukhung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chukhung)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/9 "2005-03-08T02:13:29Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > **ybeayf** , I’m pretty sure there are laws against that sort of thing…I could be wrong though. It looks like the cops haven’t shut down [this place](http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/rnbanks/). And it’s right in Bakersfield, too. > [@](#): > > Bakersfield Sun Club, affiliated with the American Association For Nude Recreation, AANR West, and the Naturist Society, is a non-landed club formed to provide nude recreation opportunities in the Bakersfield and greater Kern County areas. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/10 "2005-03-08T02:19:52Z")
Oh ewwwww…not cool. Have you seen the people around these parts?\* Exactly. \*Expect me of course! ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/11 "2005-03-08T02:22:57Z")
Except. Don’t ever EXPECT me to use preview. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/12 "2005-03-08T03:27:22Z")
What about something like [this?](http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=NK-182053&cgnbr=OSSWMOPSZZZ&rfnbr=158&page=2&cgname=OSSWMOPSZZZ) Certainly not matronly, and they go up to size 14, which from what I gather, would probably fit you. Many of their one-piece suits are quite risque, but a lot are modest but still fun. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/13 "2005-03-08T03:31:06Z")
**badbadrubberpiggy** - I love there stuff, but my chest is a bit big (it’s hard to fit a D cup into one of their suits) and my hips are a bit wide. I wish I could wear their stuff, though. Thanks for the suggetion. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/14 "2005-03-08T03:37:14Z")
I got mine several years ago from lands end and absolutely love it. I’m a big girl too, and it’s got a built in bra… BONUS! They go up to size 18, it looks like, but I’m bigger than that now and it still fits me fine. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/15 "2005-03-08T03:40:24Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > **badbadrubberpiggy** - I love there stuff, but my chest is a bit big (it’s hard to fit a D cup into one of their suits) and my hips are a bit wide. I wish I could wear their stuff, though. I have, um, big girls too and I have a VS swimsuit that fits fine. (Got it on eBay for about quarter the retail price.) ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/16 "2005-03-08T03:50:38Z")
**Kyla** , it’s my hips more so then the girls. I should have been clearer :), ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/17 "2005-03-08T13:53:36Z")
Why not simply wear a fashionable toga? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/18 "2005-03-08T14:05:26Z")
Came in to suggest the nude beach option, but it seems to have been (pardon the pun) covered. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/19 "2005-03-08T15:06:39Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > Next life, I will be a man. A tall skinny man. Life is not a bed of roses for the tall skinny man in [shorts](http://www.doc.ic.ac.uk/~spc03/images/me_in_shorts.png). ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460/20 "2005-03-08T15:18:44Z")
Dude, that was adorable. Sorry, I can’t relate to the OP. Not because I’m not as big as the OP, and not because I can’t find swim suits that fit (thank you tankinis!), but because–much to my husband’s chagrin–I’m on an eternal quest to cover my ass and thighs. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-have-i-been-cursed-to-poofy-swimwear/293460.md?page=2)