# Why I Hate the Holiday Season **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 30, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333 "2004-11-30T15:24:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/21 "2004-11-30T17:07:49Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > Mom\_Crayons and I have been happily boycotting Christmas for the past few years. Oh, it’s so _aaaaawesome_! No pressure no rushing, no buying shit for family members you hate who won’t like anything you get them anyway… We loafed and were slothful and thoroughly stress free. I think we’ll let Christmas pass unnoticed this year too, and this thread validates our decision. We’ll get gifts for the grandkids, but I’m not going to drag out the decorations (no one sees them anyway) and we’re not doing a family dinner. If something happens to get me in the mood in the next couple of weeks, I might change my mind, but as it stands now, I don’t think anyone else cares what we do, so I’m not going to do it. Sigh. What a relief. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/22 "2004-11-30T17:07:52Z")
> [@](#): > > I do believe that you have to hold on to belief that things will get better. Yeah, and Santa’s reindeer will come flying outta my butt. > [@](#): > > The Jesus thing shoved down your throat. Puh-_lease!_ ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/23 "2004-11-30T17:07:53Z")
> [@JavaMaven1](#): > > This means that from sunset to around 10 PM, the streets are nearly blocked with station wagons, minivans, and SUVs, making it near impossible to get out of our driveway in a timely fashion, and even worse, dragging what would normally be a two minute drive out of (or back in) the neighborhood into thirty minutes or more. We have to debate on whether or not when we leave in the evenings if it’s important, and if we do, if it’s fine to wait it out and come home late. No quick runs to the store for the month of December, that’s for sure. Time to set up a Hot Cocoa & Mulled Cider stand! Spike it with a little Kaopectate & you’ll really get that traffic moving! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/24 "2004-11-30T17:12:02Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > I’m not about to break out into my impression of Andrea McArdle singing “Tomorrow,” I’d pay good money to see this. But you have to wear the red dress. Name a price and we’ll start a collection. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/25 "2004-11-30T17:13:32Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > • > • TV gets all heartwarming–Watch **Bad Santa** as an antidote. Bad Santa Spoiler I dunno. When the kid kicks the bully in the nuts at the end, I get all weepy. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/26 "2004-11-30T17:14:53Z")
The problem with Christmas music is not just its ubiquity, or the fact that it falls under Sturgeon’s Law (“90% of everything is crap”). It is also the fact that very little listenable Christmas music has been written in my lifetime of 29 years. Most of what has appeared since falls into the category of funny-the-first-five-times-but-not-the-last-eight-million (see “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”), painfully schmaltzy and insipid (see “These Christmas Shoes”), or filler tracks between the traditional chestnuts on an artist’s inevitable Christmas album (see, oh, any Christmas album by pretty much anybody). What we need is a Manhattan Project-level effort to pull together the country’s best songwriters and write a slew of new Christmas music. Elvis Costello is probably between albums. I’d like to hear what Rhett Miller could turn out. Stephen Merritt is on tour, but a nice wad of cash might lure him in. How Jewish is Dylan these days? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/27 "2004-11-30T17:29:05Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > The Jesus thing shoved down your throat. . Jesus is coming! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/28 "2004-11-30T17:34:47Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > I’m not about to break out into my impression of Andrea McArdle singing “Tomorrow,” Arf! Arf! _yeah, yeah…I’m just trying to peek up the skirt here…_ ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/29 "2004-11-30T17:36:36Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Arf! Arf! > > _yeah, yeah…I’m just trying to peek up the skirt here…_ You may get your chance if you come to DC for MAL. Woof! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/30 "2004-11-30T17:36:39Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > • It’s cold and dark and windy and it’s going to start getting snowy and icy soon. > > • Religion—which has been nipping at my heels all year—suddenly leaps up, grabs me by the collar, and yells, “_Gotcha ya!_” > > • Enforced jollity. I am not jolly. I am in a slough of despond, a pit of despair, and I will thank you to keep your goddam tinsel out of it. > > • TV gets all heartwarming. If I want my heart to be warm, I will rip it out of my ribcage and thrust it, still beating, into a microwave. > > • Office parties. While I don’t actually _dislike_ these people, do I really have to spend after-work hours socializing with them? > > • Trying to bulldoze my way down the sidewalks in midtown Manhattan through crowds of shoppers and gawkers and Santas and those goddam Falun Gong people (at this point, I am ready to “suppress them” myself). > > • Lawn decorations. Huge, tacky, ho-ho-ho-ing, lawn decorations, which will stay up till fucking _May_. **Cold.** Boy, I _hate_ the fucking cold. I feel for ya here, sistah. \*\*Religion. \*\* Well, not exactly my cup of tea. But without them, we wouldn’t have our own Giant Jesus vogueing by the strip club! \*\*Jollity. \*\* Feh. I’m usually pretty jolly, even if it is masked by sarcasm. \*\*Heartwarming TV. \*\* Yeah…it’s pretty hideous. Makes me thank the Giant Jesus I have a VCR and DVD player. \*\*Office Parties. \*\* My husband refuses to do his because he hates his co-workers. Ours is played out during working hours with free lunch and a full day of grazing on goodies. How bad can it be? \*\*Hustle and Bustle. \*\* I don’t do it. I do 95% of my shopping on line. \*\*Lawn Decorations. \*\* Heh. I’m tempted to stick those inflatable things with a shiv. They are a blight on neighborhoods across the nation. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/31 "2004-11-30T17:39:13Z")
Yesterday at work I heard “Winter Wonderland” ten times, by seven different artists. I think what is really needed is a return to classical music for Christmas music. Failing that Tom Waits, Trent Reznor, Marlyn Manson, and Gary Numen ought to produce Christmas albums. I think once people hear Mr. Manson’s version of “Silent Night” the whole idea of contemporary artists doing Christmas albums will vanish. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/32 "2004-11-30T17:44:23Z")
> [@The Tim](#): > > Yesterday at work I heard “Winter Wonderland” ten times, by seven different artists. I think what is really needed is a return to classical music for Christmas music. Failing that Tom Waits, Trent Reznor, Marlyn Manson, and Gary Numen ought to produce Christmas albums. I think once people hear Mr. Manson’s version of “Silent Night” the whole idea of contemporary artists doing Christmas albums will vanish. Even better–they should do a Christmas album together. A duet between Marilyn Manson and Tom Waits will do things to popular Christmas music that I can’t post about here. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/33 "2004-11-30T17:45:12Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > If you can ignore religion in the USA, you must also be able to ignore oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon. Actually, the Christian part of Christmas is very easily ignored, as it isn’t really much in evidence this time of year, barring the occasional angel. The Santa part of Christmas, on the other hand – He’s everwhere! He’s everywhere! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/34 "2004-11-30T17:58:45Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > Criminy, when I’m pissy I get scolded, and whn I try to be inspirational I get scolded. I’m sorry **gobear** , it’s just your post was kind of a surprise. I’m glad you’re cheering up after the election. And you did make a really good point about Hanukah, a holiday that has retained a small shred of the dignity the others have lost. Sometimes I wish America was more like England. I was in England over American Thanksgiving a few years ago and there wasn’t a blinky light or bit of tinsel to be seen ‘till I left on the last day of November. I like Christmas better when it’s a short season. If anything I like Christmas better now than when I was a child, because I haven’t been singing choral music since September. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/35 "2004-11-30T18:01:53Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > You may get your chance if you come to DC for MAL. > Woof! Oh, no ifs. We’re going to be there, if not necessarily at the MAL events all weekend. We’re going to stay with a friend down there and go to certain events…I’ll let you know when we finalize just what we’ll be attending. ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/36 "2004-11-30T18:13:36Z")
And there are STILL 25 days left for listening to the insipid whistling twit croak _(All I_ _Want for Christmas is) My Two Front Teeth_! Gah!! Someone, please tell me where I can get a life-size reproduction of the Grinch in a Santa costume. I want to pose him sitting on my chimney with the pants down around his ankles! I wonder how long it would take the Neighborhood Nazi Housing Commitee to come a-knockin’ at my door? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/37 "2004-11-30T18:26:07Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Christmas songs–Suddenly the whole world has only five songs in it. And of course, they all suck. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/38 "2004-11-30T18:51:43Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Yeah, and Santa’s reindeer will come flying outta my butt. Now if _that’s_ a decoration I’d put on my roof! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/39 "2004-11-30T18:52:07Z")
I find it cheers me up greatly to make up obscene and blasphemous lyrics to Christmas carols, and sing them as I’m driving around. To get you started, think how “Rumpabumbum” has the same beat as “Armageddon.” And next time that annoying song plays, just hum to yourself: _Hari hari, krishna krishna Krishna Krish, nahari hari A-hari hari Krishna Krishna Hari Krishna Winter Wonderland_ Daniel ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/40 "2004-11-30T18:53:17Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > And of course, they all suck. That’s my real objection to removing religious Christmas carols from schools – the secular carols (except the Carol of the Bells) all suck mightily. There are some pretty insipid religious carols, but most of them are way, WAY above Frosty, Rudolph, etc. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333.md?page=3)