# Why I Hate the Holiday Season **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 30, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333 "2004-11-30T15:24:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/41 "2004-11-30T18:56:44Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > • It’s cold and dark and windy and it’s going to start getting snowy and icy soon. :: Sniff :: All this has gotten me in a holiday spirit … Well, the weather outside is frightful And the snow is not delightful All you optimists can just blow Fuck this snow fuck this snow fuck this snow … ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/42 "2004-11-30T18:57:42Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > I find it cheers me up greatly to make up obscene and blasphemous lyrics to Christmas carols, and sing them as I’m driving around. Yes, yes! I almost forgot the one my mother taught me, _Deck the goddamned halls with holly_! \*La la la la la \* etc a few lines further… _Hark the hare-lipped angels sing_, _Fwaw, Fwaw, Fwaw, Fwaw_…etc ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/43 "2004-11-30T19:00:34Z")
> [@fessie](#): > > Time to set up a Hot Cocoa & Mulled Cider stand! Spike it with a little Kaopectate & you’ll really get that traffic moving! Or I could always use **Zenster’s** Old-Fashioned Ex-Lax Hot Chocolate recipe… ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/44 "2004-11-30T19:04:39Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > That’s my real objection to removing religious Christmas carols from schools – the secular carols (except the Carol of the Bells) all suck mightily. Oh, I agree. With the exception of _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas_ (hey, ya just can’t beat Judy Garland singing “Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Make the Yule-tide gay…”) the secular songs suck stale cookie dough. Meoldy-wise I really love “O Holy Night”, but… well… that holy stuff is what nixes it off many PC let’s-secularize-to-be-inclusive song lists. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/45 "2004-11-30T19:13:12Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > • It’s cold and dark and windy and it’s going to start getting snowy and icy soon. I like this time of year. I like winter, and I love the snow. I like when it’s chilly and overcast, and I like that nippy breeze. I love those Canadian cold fronts that make it 40° degrees at night, so I can throw open the window for some fresh air for sleeping. God only knows why I live in the Mid-Atlantic, where it’s unbearably hot and humid five moths of the year. I should move to Alaska. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/46 "2004-11-30T19:13:25Z")
> [@TwoTrouts](#): > > _Hark the hare-lipped angels sing_, > _Fwaw, Fwaw, Fwaw, Fwaw_…etc _Fill the bars with Christmas drinking_ \*Fa la la la la-la la la la \* _See the people getting stinking_ _Fa la la la la-la la la la_ _Though their brains are half-corroded_ _Fa la la-la la la-la la la_ _Still they’ll try to drive home loaded_ _Fa la la la la-la la la la_ _See the busy intersection_ \*Fa la la la la-la la la la \* _Here come cars from each direction_… …And so on. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/47 "2004-11-30T19:27:34Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > I love those Canadian cold fronts that make it 40° degrees at night . . . You think 40° at night is _cold?_ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/48 "2004-11-30T19:28:23Z")
If I’ve gotta hear an Xmas song, I can tolerate Tom Petty’s “Christmas All Over Again”. Once or twice, anyway. \*"Long-distance relatives, haven’t seen’em in a long, long time Yeah I kind of missed 'em, I just don’t wanna kiss 'em, no It’s Christmas all over again, yeah again And all over town little kids gonna get down And Christmas is a rockin’ time, put your body next to mine Underneath the mistletoe we go, we go"\* ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/49 "2004-11-30T19:35:41Z")
And just how many fucking parodies of the 12 Days of Christmas does this world need. The original bird brained version was bad enough, but everyone has to be clever and re-do it. Especially all you goddam companies selling something. I wished I owned the rights to the music, so I could sue every last one of you…Except of course for the 12 Days of Phantom On the 12th day of Christmas the Phantom gave me to 12 _years_ in Phantom 11 pyrotechnics 10 beepings beeping 9 candalabras 8 tone deaf dancers 7,000 cast changes 6,6,6 a chandelier in pieces 5 high D’s–AAAAAAAAA 4 fog machines 3 leading ladies a whole bunch of Christines and a sweaty piece of porcelain on his face. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/50 "2004-11-30T19:36:13Z")
This seems a good thread to put my commentary about that Hallmark commercial. The woman puts this annoying musical snowman on her neighbor’s porch and he opens the door to it singing it’s irritating electronic song. Everytime I see that commercial I want to kick that sonofabitch across the lawn. That’s what I’d do if someone put that on my porch. And, while buying cold medicine at CVS the other day, they had regular Xmas music playing on the musack and then about ten little electronic songs playing from various Santa and reindeer decorations. I thought I was going to lose it. I don’t know how the employees can work around all that noise without going batshit. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/51 "2004-11-30T19:38:20Z")
Eve - You forgot the Christmas music. The horrible, neverending din played in stores and on radios, over and over and over, until I can’t take it anymore, I tell you, I can’t take it,WHERE THE HELL IS MY MACHETE??!?!!?!!? Bah. Humbug. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/52 "2004-11-30T19:41:04Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > You think 40° at night is _cold?_ No, not at all. Throw open the window, and it’s perfect for sleeping! I have to have it cool for sleeping. I hate a stuffy room. Everyone else around here, though, is complaining. It’s about 50° today, and a little breezy. Just gorgeous out, IMO. I have on a sleeveless mock turtleneck and a fleece pullover with jeans, and I’m fine. I’ve been running errands all day, and everyone is complaining about the “cold.” Buncha wimps, I tell ya! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/53 "2004-11-30T20:03:10Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > And, while buying cold medicine at CVS the other day, they had regular Xmas music playing on the musack and then about ten little electronic songs playing from various Santa and reindeer decorations. I thought I was going to lose it. I don’t know how the employees can work around all that noise without going batshit. Parents, pay heed. If your child wants to slack and not finish school remind them what working retail every Christmas for the rest of their lives will be like. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/54 "2004-11-30T20:06:24Z")
The older I get, the more I think that Scrooge had a point, and maybe all the Christmas Ghosts should get stuffed. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/55 "2004-11-30T20:10:18Z")
[A Tom Lehrer Christmas carol](http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/xmas.htm) ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/56 "2004-11-30T20:11:06Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > • It’s cold and dark and windy and it’s going to start getting snowy and icy soon. > > • Religion—which has been nipping at my heels all year—suddenly leaps up, grabs me by the collar, and yells, “_Gotcha ya!_” > > • Enforced jollity. I am not jolly. I am in a slough of despond, a pit of despair, and I will thank you to keep your goddam tinsel out of it. > > • TV gets all heartwarming. If I want my heart to be warm, I will rip it out of my ribcage and thrust it, still beating, into a microwave. > > • Office parties. While I don’t actually _dislike_ these people, do I really have to spend after-work hours socializing with them? > > • Trying to bulldoze my way down the sidewalks in midtown Manhattan through crowds of shoppers and gawkers and Santas and those goddam Falun Gong people (at this point, I am ready to “suppress them” myself). > > • Lawn decorations. Huge, tacky, ho-ho-ho-ing, lawn decorations, which will stay up till fucking _May_. It’s not _all_ bad. You do get the day off from work (with pay) don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/57 "2004-11-30T20:49:14Z")
Believe you me: I’d work that day _without pay_ if it would rid my life of the above items. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/58 "2004-11-30T21:17:20Z")
\*Christmastime is here by golly, Disapproval would be folly. Deck the halls with hunks with hunks of holly, Fill the cup and don’t say when… Relations sparing no expensil, Send some useless old utensil, Or a matching pen and pencil. Brother, here we go again!\* ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/59 "2004-11-30T23:43:23Z")
Xmas has become totally about the mass culture…it’s as though you can barely have a private memory or moment to call your own. It’s a wonderland of consumer goodies with nothing I particularly want to buy (barring the odd record album or alcoholic beverage). It’s a big plate-glass strip mall where every window is sticky with the ootsy-cutesy fingerprints of the masscult’s childroon, whose merest touch makes everything plasticky and sugar-sweetened and cheap. Isn’t it enough that the little suckers have Halloween? At least that’s _about_ sugar and plastic. Who knows what Xmas is about, anymore. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/60 "2004-12-01T00:11:50Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > Who knows what Xmas is about, anymore. Avoidance, blame, and [Miss Manners](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A918-2004Nov20.html). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333.md?page=4)