# Why I Hate the Holiday Season **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 30, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333 "2004-11-30T15:24:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/101 "2004-12-02T18:44:20Z")
> [@detop](#): > > I agree with you on that one. My solution, watching depressing, scary or ultraviolent movies instead. I like watching “The Lion in Winter”. It makes my family, even at our worst, look good by comparison. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/102 "2004-12-02T18:49:18Z")
> [@Anne Neville](#): > > I like watching “The Lion in Winter”. It makes my family, even at our worst, look good by comparison. And it’s a Christmas movie, to boot. (Set during Christmas 1183, anyway) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/103 "2004-12-02T18:50:30Z")
> [@Anne Neville](#): > > I like watching “The Lion in Winter”. It makes my family, even at our worst, look good by comparison. “Of course he has a knife! We _all_ have knives. It’s the 11th Century and we’re barbarians!” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/104 "2004-12-02T18:53:45Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > “Of course he has a knife! We _all_ have knives. It’s the 11th Century and we’re barbarians!” My bad. “It’s 1183 and we’re barbarians!” Why I remembered that as “11th Century”, especially knowing the year it’s set in, I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Punkyova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@The\_Punkyova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Punkyova)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/105 "2004-12-03T04:06:52Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > My bad. “It’s 1183 and we’re barbarians!” > > Why I remembered that as “11th Century”, especially knowing the year it’s set in, I have no idea. This is my Christmas movie. I watch it every year Christmas afternoon. Mr. Punky tried to replace it one year with “Midnight Clear.” Add that to your not-uplifting-the-world-is-going-to-hell list of Christmas movies. If I ever divorce him, having forced me to watch that movie will be at the top of the list. Mr. Punky gets out his maps and replays the Battle of the Bulge. He has alarms going off to remind him to move armies around. This takes several days, but no one can really object, because he goes into a rant about how it was THE pivital battle of WWII, what is wrong with you unpatriotic people, you probably want to be speaking German, and besides it’s educational. (Why yes, he does hate Christmas. Why do you ask?) ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/106 "2004-12-03T04:47:25Z")
To prevent further hijacking of this thread, regarding movies, I opened [another one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5564822#post5564822) in Cafe Society. Thank you for your suggestions. I will keep them in mind and use them either this year or next one. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/107 "2004-12-03T14:26:35Z")
[Merry Christmas Anyway](http://www.ucomics.com/foxtrot/2004/12/03/) ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/108 "2004-12-03T19:05:27Z")
> [@manhattan](#): > > I don’t like the Chinese government for much, but I’m starting to have sympathy for them on these guys. I swear if I see one more picture of a torture machine I think I’m gonna ask one of those very vaguely creepy guys where I can get one. I’m glad I’m not the only one. First they blocked my sidewalks downtown. Then I get a gig midtown, and there are more of them. Is any corner safe? I can’t even enter/exit the subways anymore, between the Falun Gong / AM New York / Metro / store flier gangs trying to force stuff into my hands. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/109 "2004-12-03T19:13:58Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > I’m glad I’m not the only one. First [Falun Gong] blocked my sidewalks downtown. Then I get a gig midtown, and there are more of them. Is any corner safe? WTF?! Are you serious? Please, that is a trend you city folk can keep to yourselves. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/110 "2004-12-03T19:44:33Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > I’m glad I’m not the only one. First they blocked my sidewalks downtown. Then I get a gig midtown, and there are more of them. Is any corner safe? I think I am safe in saying there is not a single Falun Gong left in China. _Every goddam one of them_ is in NYC, trying to stuff a paper into my hand and chirping, “Good morning! We are being oppressed!” Which might be bearable, if the sidewalks were not already packed to the fourth floor with Santas, homeless advocates (right next to homeless people), shoppers, tourists, Salvation Army lasses, “Going Out of Business!” leaflet-hander-outers, and just us regular Joes and Josephines trying to get to and from work. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/111 "2004-12-03T20:04:07Z")
I don’t think China is doing a very good job of oppressing these folks. Although I’ve been taking pictures of them and selling them to bondage websites. All those damn people from Europe over here taking advantage of the weak dollar bug the hell out of me as well. They walk around with all their shopping bags grinning like children while saying “We better buy another suitcase to take all this stuff home!” Bastards! ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/112 "2004-12-03T20:27:05Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > …the sidewalks [are] already packed to the fourth floor with Santas, homeless advocates (right next to homeless people), shoppers, tourists, Salvation Army lasses, “Going Out of Business!” leaflet-hander-outers, and just us regular Joes and Josephines trying to get to and from work. I’m sorry this season is hard on you; but that image is hilarious. Two lines keep running through my head: “Now I’ll have to climb another four floors to jump out the window—I’ll _never_ be able to kill myself!” and “Goddammit! This sidewalk is packed tighter than a Tokyo subway!” ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/113 "2004-12-04T01:28:47Z")
Jack Frost roasting on an open fire frostbite nipping at your toes yuletide choirs being hung by the fire and folks dressed up like Tokyo Rose Everybody knows a turkey stuffed with mistletoe helps to make a season blight tiny tots with their eyes all aglow have freebased too much crack tonight They know that Santa’s on his way he’s loaded commercialjunk and cheap crap on his sleigh And every mother’s child is going to cry to see that reindeer only exist when they’re high… ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/114 "2004-12-04T02:52:07Z")
> [@5que](#): > > And what if also your birthday is on Christmas day but YOU’RE NOT ALL BITTER ABOUT getting one fawkin’ present for “both your birthday and Christmas, dear” for your whole life, and because of everything going on around the holidays that your mother actually forgot your birthday a couple of years? Hmm. My birthday is _also_ on Christmas Day, and that two-for-one thing never happened to me, although everyone assumes it must have when they learn my birthday. Bad family! Exchange for good one. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/115 "2004-12-04T03:49:45Z")
> [@DoctorJ](#): > > The problem with Christmas music is not just its ubiquity, or the fact that it falls under Sturgeon’s Law (“90% of everything is crap”). It is also the fact that very little listenable Christmas music has been written in my lifetime of 29 years… > > What we need is a Manhattan Project-level effort to pull together the country’s best songwriters and write a slew of new Christmas music. Preach it, **DoctorJ**! After enduring this shit for 20 years longer than you have, I worry that it’s beginning to impose on my usual sunny good nature. To test my endurance, my workplace has Dean Martin on an endless loop piped in straight from Hell. I know he’s all dead and everything, but couldn’t someone have told him to put down the martini, spit out the 25 cocktail olives and _enunciate_, fer chissake? Bah! [boozy warble]…ahm reeming umma mite ismuzzz[/hiccup] ---
**Author:** ![todd33rpm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@todd33rpm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/todd33rpm)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/116 "2004-12-04T05:14:32Z")
> [@koeeoaddi](#): > > To test my endurance, my workplace has Dean Martin on an endless loop piped in straight from Hell. I know he’s all dead and everything, but couldn’t someone have told him to put down the martini, spit out the 25 cocktail olives and _enunciate_, fer chissake? Bah! > > [boozy warble]…ahm reeming umma mite ismuzzz[/hiccup] I swear that it took me a MINUTE to figure out what song that was, and when I did, I laughed enough to almost wake up the whole damned house. Thank you for the laugh tonight…I needed it! ---
**Author:** ![QuarkChild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c5a1d2/32.png) [@QuarkChild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuarkChild)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/117 "2004-12-04T07:27:18Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > with their eyes all aglow > have freebased too much crack tonight I thought heroin was freebased, not crack. Then again, everything I learned about drugs I learned from Stephen King. (_Drawing of the Three_; _the Stand_) Which is it? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/118 "2004-12-04T15:14:31Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > Jack Frost roasting on an open fire > frostbite nipping at your toes > yuletide choirs being hung by the fire > and folks dressed up like Tokyo Rose > > Everybody knows > a turkey stuffed with mistletoe > helps to make a season blight > tiny tots > with their eyes all aglow > have freebased too much crack tonight > > They know that Santa’s on his way > he’s loaded commercialjunk > and cheap crap on his sleigh > > And every mother’s child > is going to cry > to see that reindeer only exist when they’re high… And you will hear every goddam Christmas song Till it makes you bang your head on the glass. I’ll say it just once, only once, heed my word: Shove this Christmas up your ass. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/119 "2004-12-07T01:03:08Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > And you will hear every goddam Christmas song > Till it makes you bang your head on the glass. > I’ll say it just once, only once, heed my word: > Shove this Christmas up your ass. Not what I would expect to hear from someone called **Annie-Xmas** , bravo. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333/120 "2004-12-07T13:02:54Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > I’m not kidding. Being in a mall weirds me out. Being in a mall full of frantic panicking Christamas shoppers made me, quite literally, feel ill. I had to go outside because I started dry heaving from seeing that much stress juxtaposed with phony affected “cheer”. (No word of a lie, I nearly threw up). I, too, get the vertigo in the shopping malls at Christmas time. My husband has cleverly termed it “SantaClaustrophobia”, but the cute moniker doesn’t make it any more bearable. I get dizzy and shaky and sweaty and nauseous—hey! Those sound like good reindeer names! _On, Dizzy! On, Shaky! On, Sweaty! On, Nauseous!_ As for the songs, sometime ago, I read Dave Barry’s commentary on _The Little Drummer Boy_ . Among other things, he noted that the mother of a newborn would **never** allow someone to just come in and start banging away on a drum once the little babe was asleep. As the mother of an infant, I concur. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-hate-the-holiday-season/277333.md?page=7)