# Why I intentionally ruined your coffee beverage (and you don't know it)! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2005, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868 "2005-12-03T04:51:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/81 "2005-12-03T09:37:16Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > I’d like to be the first person to say that the OP was an **excellent** rant, and highly entertaining. I’m sorry that most people on this board can’t seem to recognize hyperbole when they see it. > Are you honestly going to claim that everytime someone posts a hyperbolic rant, they are breaking the rules? Give me a break. Half the rants in The Pit (at least the entertaining ones) are over-the-top like this. I think anyone who wasn’t itching to be offended could see the OP was making that stuff up. Are you saying threads like this should all have a disclaimer stating that “I made all this shit up”?. I don’t know. I think the thing is, the degree of hyperbole is so slight as to be imperceptible. I find it not at all unbelievable that some jerk in a coffee shop might have his panties in a wad about customers and go ahead and put caffeine in the decaf, or slip some dairy in the soy beverage. Not that I’d expect most people to go ahead and do so, but it’s far from an outrageous thing to imagine. That said, and not really knowing **VC03** , it doesn’t seem that off to read this as truth, or as something intended to be treated as truth ( **lissener** presents a good reading of the OP, IMHO). But, to respond to the OPs rant, man, I’ve worked behind a counter, and it’s true you get all types coming in. At what point, though, does the fact that a customer is ‘talking down to you’ become less of a fact and more of an interpretation based on _your_ perceptions, and less on the customer’s actions? Not saying that there aren’t jerks, but if you’re feeling like there are so many jerks you can’t enjoy your job, I don’t know, maybe you’re reading your own dissatisfaction about being a double-degreed guy working a coffee shop into your interactions with customers. ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/82 "2005-12-03T09:42:25Z")
> [@OleOneEye](#): > > [hijack] Can one of the MDs on the board help a skeptic, here? Is there really such a thing as a caffeine allergy?[/hijack] According to [this case report](http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.1034/j.1398-9995.57.s73.24_53.x) there is. That’s apparently rare, though. But there are a lot of medications that change the way people metabolize caffeine and someone who had heart problems (and maybe even someone who didn’t) and was taking one of those drugs, and who unknowingly drank a lot of caffeine, might end up in the emergency room thinking they were dying. They _probably_ wouldn’t die, but emergency room fees and tests and such would cost the victim and/or their insurance company and/or the taxpayers a shitload of money. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Is\_Schwa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8baadc/32.png) [@What\_Is\_Schwa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Is_Schwa)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/83 "2005-12-03T10:13:21Z")
> [@PeterWiggen](#): > > You know, my mother is deathly allergic to caffeine. If something was to happen to her because of your childishness, I would probably skullfuck you before doing something horrible to you. Just an FYI. > > Regards. You do understand there is caffeine in “decaf” coffee? She must _really_ be deathly allergic :rolleyes: I’m lactose intolerant, and let me tell ya, if the barrista doesn’t clean the steamwand before she makes my soy drink, I can tell. Anyhow, the OP gave me a chuckle. I don’t understand how people can repeatedly be rude to the people PREPARING THEIR FOOD. Yikes. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/84 "2005-12-03T10:18:03Z")
> [@What Is Schwa](#): > > You do understand there is caffeine in “decaf” coffee? She must _really_ be deathly allergic :rolleyes: From [here:](http://wilstar.com/caffeine.htm) Milligrams of caffeine in 8-oz of decaf coffee: 2-3. Milligrams of caffeine in the FOUR shots of espresso the OP threatened to add: 400. Is there a difference, my lactose-intolerant friend, whether you imbibe 3 milligrams of dairy or 400? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/85 "2005-12-03T10:21:38Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > I don’t know. I think the thing is, the degree of hyperbole is so slight as to be imperceptible. I find it not at all unbelievable that some jerk in a coffee shop might have his panties in a wad about customers and go ahead and put caffeine in the decaf, or slip some dairy in the soy beverage. Not that I’d expect most people to go ahead and do so, but it’s far from an outrageous thing to imagine. > > That said, and not really knowing **VC03** , it doesn’t seem that off to read this as truth, or as something intended to be treated as truth ( **lissener** presents a good reading of the OP, IMHO). I’ve worked food-service myself, so I agree that it happens, but to me, there was just a certain tone in the OP that made it seem like obvious hyperbole to me. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/86 "2005-12-03T10:25:22Z")
Perhaps because most people don’t expect the food preparer to do something illegal to their food. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/87 "2005-12-03T10:30:52Z")
My posting above was in response to Schwa’s > [@](#): > > Anyhow, the OP gave me a chuckle. I don’t understand how people can repeatedly be rude to the people PREPARING THEIR FOOD. Yikes. To the OP: I’m curious about one thing, now. What degrees do you have, exactly? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/88 "2005-12-03T10:32:01Z")
And perhaps because the OP is a serial Pitter of anyone and everyone who doesn’t fit into his narrow worldview. I’m surprised that he’s old enough to have two degrees. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/89 "2005-12-03T10:32:20Z")
Why, isn’t it obvious? BA’s in Hospitality Management and Culinary Arts 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/90 "2005-12-03T10:33:24Z")
D’oh! My post was in response to > [@](#): > > To the OP: I’m curious about one thing, now. What degrees do you have, exactly? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/91 "2005-12-03T10:33:26Z")
:smack: And **my** post above was a response to **Monty**. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/92 "2005-12-03T10:34:27Z")
This has got to be one of the best simulpost runs in a while. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Is\_Schwa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8baadc/32.png) [@What\_Is\_Schwa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Is_Schwa)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/93 "2005-12-03T10:36:09Z")
> [@PeterWiggen](#): > > From [here:](http://wilstar.com/caffeine.htm) > > Milligrams of caffeine in 8-oz of decaf coffee: 2-3. > > Milligrams of caffeine in the FOUR shots of espresso the OP threatened to add: 400. > > Is there a difference, my lactose-intolerant friend, whether you imbibe 3 milligrams of dairy or 400? :rolleyes: I know you’re on tirade mode, and I don’t really feel like pulling your wrath away from the OP, but for what it’s worth… milk makes me poopy, but I don’t tell people i’m DEATHLY allergic. For a coffee to be labeled “decaf” at least 97% of the caffeine must be removed. I’m not arguing with your numbers (they are basically correct) I’m just saying that if there were a product on the market i was DEATHLY ALLERGIC TO I wouldn’t fuck around with it. Your brave mother reminds me of a Sienfeld scit about _maximum strength dosage_ Find out how much a person can take before it kills him, than back it off a notch for me. I’ve also worked as a barrista in several shops. There is so much room for human error along the way to receiving that decaf that if you really do have that allergy you are playing russian roulette. Yeah, i don’t agree with the OP’s position. However, I would also say your dear mum is being irresponsible. ---
**Author:** ![Daisy\_Mae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@Daisy\_Mae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daisy_Mae)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/94 "2005-12-03T10:39:14Z")
> [@PeterWiggen](#): > > Right, **neuroman**. And if a girl who gets raped was stupid enough to wear lipstick and a miniskirt and go out on the street, you don’t have much sympathy either, right? I mean, it’s the same policy – blame the victim of the crime, not the criminal. > > :rolleyes: That has to be one of the dumbest comparisons ever. Seriously. First, the over the top reaction to someone who doesn’t live anywhere near you or your mother is more frightening than his obviously made up OP. You acted as if he said “Peter Wiggen’s mother is going to get a steaming cup of MegaCaffeine next time I see her.” Seriously, calm the fuck down. Nobody threatened your Mommy. If I had a “deathly” allergy to caffeine, I’d make damn sure the only coffee/tea/etc that passed my lips was one that I prepared myself or was prepared by someone that I know. ACCIDENTS can happen where someone doesn’t even mean to fuck with your coffee. Sure, if someone accidently gave your mom Extra Octane coffee her estate could sue, but she’d still be dead. Would she be in the right? You bet. Would it be worth it? Probably not. Just because you SHOULD be able to do something, doesn’t make it a good fucking idea when your life is on the line. I’d rather be alive and drinking my own decaf than dead and exercising my rights to drink coffee at Starfucks. Then again, if she made the coffee herself you wouldn’t get the skullfucking you were foaming about. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Is\_Schwa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8baadc/32.png) [@What\_Is\_Schwa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Is_Schwa)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/95 "2005-12-03T10:39:39Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Perhaps because most people don’t expect the food preparer to do something illegal to their food. NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! I’m not defending it. Just reporting it. Didn’t you read the OP? HOW MANY TIMES WILL IT TAKE BEFORE YOU REALIZE THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT DO THOSE TERRIBLE THINGS? Good greif. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/96 "2005-12-03T10:41:16Z")
> [@What Is Schwa](#): > > I know you’re on tirade mode, and I don’t really feel like pulling your wrath away from the OP 🙂 This made me smile. > [@](#): > > Yeah, i don’t agree with the OP’s position. However, I would also say your dear mum is being irresponsible. Fair enough. - Peter Wiggen ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/97 "2005-12-03T10:44:48Z")
> [@What Is Schwa](#): > > NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! > > I’m not defending it. Just reporting it. Didn’t you read the OP? > > HOW MANY TIMES WILL IT TAKE BEFORE YOU REALIZE THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT DO THOSE TERRIBLE THINGS? > > Good greif. What the hey is your problem? I posted what, three times in this thread? I understand there are jerks out there who do ILLEGAL things to food. I also specifically stated that _perhaps_ the reason why some people are rude to the food preparers is that those same people don’t expect the preparer to do something illegal to that food. Yeah, I read the OP. The OP is a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Is\_Schwa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8baadc/32.png) [@What\_Is\_Schwa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Is_Schwa)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/98 "2005-12-03T10:47:24Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > What the hey is your problem? I posted what, three times in this thread? I understand there are jerks out there who do ILLEGAL things to food. I also specifically stated that _perhaps_ the reason why some people are rude to the food preparers is that those same people don’t expect the preparer to do something illegal to that food. > > Yeah, I read the OP. The OP is a jerk. My bad, I meant “one in general” and not “You, MONTY” ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/99 "2005-12-03T11:00:26Z")
> [@Daisy Mae](#): > > That has to be one of the dumbest comparisons ever. Seriously. Hi **Daisy Mae**. This wasn’t a comparison. It was an exploration of the principle that **neuroman** suggested (and you re-suggested). That is: blame the victim for being the victim of an intentional crime. As I pointed out, this principle doesn’t appear to hold up when applied to the crime of rape. I don’t think it should apply to the crime of assault either. > [@](#): > > First, the over the top reaction to someone who doesn’t live anywhere near you or your mother is more frightening than his obviously made up OP. You acted as if he said “Peter Wiggen’s mother is going to get a steaming cup of MegaCaffeine next time I see her.” Seriously, calm the fuck down. Nobody threatened your Mommy. You see, that’s hardly the point. I’d be pissed if it was your mother who got slipped the extra pick-me-up. The only difference is that my mother has an extreme sensitivity. Since I don’t know anything about your mother, I used my own as an example. I really don’t understand your extreme reaction to my “extreme reaction.” If the OP was threatening to slip peanuts into schoolkids lunches, not caring whether any were allergic, would you react the same way? Because I don’t see a difference between the two acts. There is malicious intent and a total disregard to the safety of others. Fuck that. > [@](#): > > If I had a “deathly” allergy to caffeine, I’d make damn sure the only coffee/tea/etc that passed my lips was one that I prepared myself or was prepared by someone that I know. ACCIDENTS can happen where someone doesn’t even mean to fuck with your coffee. Sure, if someone accidently gave your mom Extra Octane coffee her estate could sue, but she’d still be dead. Would she be in the right? You bet. Again, you’re talking about blaming the victim. I disagree with that. But let’s move on. If/when my mother goes to a Starbucks and orders a tall coffee, that’s called assumption of the risk. She assumes the risk that there might be a switcharoo and she gets caffeine and all is not well. HOWEVER, what she doesn’t assume is that the dumbfuck with the English major behind the bar is going to take out his high school frustrations by slipping her a mickey. What she doesn’t assume is that someone is so passive-aggressive that he would add copious amounts of caffeine to her drink because she PUT THE GODDAMN MONEY ON THE COUNTER INSTEAD OF IN HIS SWEATY LITTLE PALM. In other words, she doesn’t assume that there will be calculated actions against her. > [@](#): > > Would it be worth it? Probably not. Just because you SHOULD be able to do something, doesn’t make it a good fucking idea when your life is on the line. I’d rather be alive and drinking my own decaf than dead and exercising my rights to drink coffee at Starfucks. Then again, if she made the coffee herself you wouldn’t get the skullfucking you were foaming about. Two remarks: (a) I’m giving the Skullfucking, not receiving; and (b) see above. You know it seems like people are getting a little riled, because instead of debating with the OP, and saying things like “oh that’s terrible” or “please don’t do this,” I jumped right to the idea of skullfucking him. In regard to that, let me just say: This thread was not posted to Captain Kangaroo’s Magical Powderpuff Care Bear Forum. It was posted to the BBQ Pit. Ergo, you bring the skull, I bring the fucking. Regards, Peter Wiggen ---
**Author:** ![Daisy\_Mae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@Daisy\_Mae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daisy_Mae)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868/100 "2005-12-03T11:10:13Z")
> [@PeterWiggen](#): > > Again, you’re talking about blaming the victim. I disagree with that. But let’s move on. If/when my mother goes to a Starbucks and orders a tall coffee, that’s called assumption of the risk. She assumes the risk that there might be a switcharoo and she gets caffeine and all is not well. > > HOWEVER, what she doesn’t assume is that the dumbfuck with the English major behind the bar is going to take out his high school frustrations by slipping her a mickey. What she doesn’t assume is that someone is so passive-aggressive that he would add copious amounts of caffeine to her drink because she PUT THE GODDAMN MONEY ON THE COUNTER INSTEAD OF IN HIS SWEATY LITTLE PALM. In other words, she doesn’t assume that there will be calculated actions against her. If your Mommy ordered a tall coffee, she’d be doing more assuming the risk. She’d be ordering caffeine and, according to you, she’d soon be pushing up daisies by her own mistake. My example talked of a possibility of an ACCIDENT. Forget the OP, how about the carelessness of just plain OOPS that can happen any time there are human hands at work. If your mother’s allergy is that extreme, I hardly think it is blaming the victim to suggest that although she might have the almighty right to drink Starfucks coffee, it would be wiser for her to skip it altogether. Better to be alive and cautious than dead but correct. > [@PeterWiggen](#): > > Ergo, you bring the skull, I bring the fucking. Fine by me but I dare say all the holes in my skull are going to be too large for the tool to be used. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-intentionally-ruined-your-coffee-beverage-and-you-dont-know-it/333868.md?page=6)