# Why I quit the dating/mating game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 26, 2018, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566 "2018-10-26T20:58:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Marcus\_Flavius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@Marcus\_Flavius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marcus_Flavius)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/41 "2018-10-27T01:13:04Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > I wouldn’t waste your time. Anyone who thinks that feminism and “an increasingly anti-male culture” are preventing him from finding a healthy relationship has female-repelling issues that no amount of golden retriever puppies and red convertibles are going to overcome. [The look of horror on my face as I realize why I’ve never even been on a single date in my entire life.\* It was my toxic personality and misogyny all along\*!](https://i.imgur.com/timwY3Z.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/42 "2018-10-27T01:17:50Z")
> [@jaycat](#): > > Things are better in Indianapolis… or is it St. Louis… Things are not better in Indianapolis. Kansas city however is another story. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/43 "2018-10-27T01:40:42Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Kansas city however is another story. I’m going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come They got some crazy lil’ women there And I’m gonna get me one. ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/44 "2018-10-27T01:50:49Z")
This could be summed as OP quit the dating game because he is not attractive and there is no apparent interest. So he’s retiring from that game. I could write a long post on why I’m not a major league baseball player, but the bottom line is that I peaked in little league. As far as dating goes - as a poor guy with social anxiety disorder and not quite movie star looks, online dating and social media have made life much easier for me in my late 30s than when I was 25. I’ve also found myself growing more attractive as the years go on, especially “for my age,” which does come down some to luck but lifestyle choices matter a great deal. I am going to make a bold prediction and say I expect to have more “mating” success in my 40s than 20s and 30s combined. If this place is still around I will report back. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/45 "2018-10-27T02:04:36Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > [The look of horror on my face as I realize why I’ve never even been on a single date in my entire life.\* It was my toxic personality and misogyny all along\*!](https://i.imgur.com/timwY3Z.jpg) This is some [r/niceguys](https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/) stuff, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/46 "2018-10-27T05:27:59Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > [The look of horror on my face as I realize why I’ve never even been on a single date in my entire life.\* It was my toxic personality and misogyny all along\*!](https://i.imgur.com/timwY3Z.jpg) What? This makes less sense than your original post. Even if you were this good looking, no one who wasn’t on the make would put up with your lousy attitude. I suspect you’re looking for sympathy. Well, suck it up, Buttercup. Life is hard. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something. You have to BE the kind of person you want to attract. Would you date someone like you? You have a choice: work on yourself or continue to be miserable. You still may not end up with someone, but alone doesn’t have to mean you’re a miserable, lonely person. There are those of us who go through life without a significant other. I’ve been divorced for longer than you’ve been alive. Haven’t been on a date in more than a decade. But I choose not to wallow in it or blame men for what is essentially my problem. Grow up. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/47 "2018-10-27T06:20:16Z")
I totally get it. I stopped dating too when I realized most men are sexist plus they’re prone to raping you when they get you alone in private. It’s best I just stick with Instagraming my cats while clutching my pussy hat. ---
**Author:** ![Marcus\_Flavius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@Marcus\_Flavius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marcus_Flavius)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/48 "2018-10-27T07:18:18Z")
> [@BeeGee](#): > > What? This makes less sense than your original post. Even if you were this good looking, no one who wasn’t on the make would put up with your lousy attitude. I suspect you’re looking for sympathy. Well, suck it up, Buttercup. Life is hard. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something. You have to BE the kind of person you want to attract. Would you date someone like you? You have a choice: work on yourself or continue to be miserable. You still may not end up with someone, but alone doesn’t have to mean you’re a miserable, lonely person. There are those of us who go through life without a significant other. I’ve been divorced for longer than you’ve been alive. Haven’t been on a date in more than a decade. But I choose not to wallow in it or blame men for what is essentially my problem. > > Grow up. It was a joke, I meant it to be nonsensical. And why do people think your need to be near perfect to get into a relationship? Deeply flawed people get into relationships all the time. Some of the most toxic people I’ve ever met get into relationships. And some truly vile people manage get into relationships. ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/49 "2018-10-27T07:45:25Z")
Jokes are supposed too be funny. You might want to work on that. And duh. Let’s say it again: life isn’t fair. You are not owed anything. If everyone got what they deserved only assholes would be sick or poor or alone. Obviously, that’s not the case. Dude. Between this and the wah wah wah about deserving to mooch off your parents for life because you didn’t ask to be born, it’s pretty easy to see why you aren’t in a relationship. You are wallowing in self pity and it’s an ugly sight. It doesn’t appear that you think of anyone except yourself. Who the hell wants to be with that? Seriously. Grow up. ---
**Author:** ![Marcus\_Flavius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@Marcus\_Flavius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marcus_Flavius)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/50 "2018-10-27T08:08:51Z")
> [@BeeGee](#): > > And duh. Let’s say it again: life isn’t fair. Funny how people who say this usually demand a high degree of fairness in their own lives. > [@](#): > > You are not owed anything . True. It works the other way around too. I don’t owe anyone a damn thing either. > [@](#): > > If everyone got what they deserved only assholes would be sick or poor or alone. Obviously, that’s not the case. You acknowledge that 'life is unfair" yet it doesn’t occur to you that some people might end up alone and neglected through no fault of their own, and for no good reason. > [@](#): > > Dude. Between this and the wah wah wah about deserving to mooch off your parents for life because you didn’t ask to be born, it’s pretty easy to see why you aren’t in a relationship. You are wallowing in self pity and it’s an ugly sight. It doesn’t appear that you think of anyone except yourself. Who the hell wants to be with that? When did I ever say that I personally wanted to “mooch off my parents?” Provide evidence of this. But yeah, you’re probably right- I’m a worthless cretin not worthy of love. Lifelong crushing isolation is what I deserve. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/51 "2018-10-27T08:16:24Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > I think the “for whatever reason” phrase is the part to pay attention to. I’m going to take a wild stab and say the “reason” is that the OP’s misogyny is radiating hate waves which are tangible to the majority of women in his dating category. > > Advice to OP: > Get therapy, figure out what makes you so dislikeable (I guarantee the answer is not modern technology). Change it. A man’s point of view on Ulfrieda’s post: She’s right. Get therapy and figure out what is making you so dislikeable. If one woman doesn’t like you, that’s her problem. If no women like you, it’s obviously you with the problem. And I can assure you that one of the main things wrong is that you are unable to figure out for yourself what the problem is. You need to trust other people’s points of view, not just hear them. ---
**Author:** ![Marcus\_Flavius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@Marcus\_Flavius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marcus_Flavius)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/52 "2018-10-27T08:26:55Z")
> [@DavidwithanR](#): > > A man’s point of view on Ulfrieda’s post: > > She’s right. Get therapy and figure out what is making you so dislikeable. > > If one woman doesn’t like you, that’s her problem. If no women like you, it’s obviously you with the problem. And I can assure you that one of the main things wrong is that you are unable to figure out for yourself what the problem is. You need to trust other people’s points of view, not just hear them. I grow wearisome of the " Just World" delusion that so many people spout. Why can’t people fathom that you can do everything “right” and still not succeed? Why can’t people realize that some of us are simply unfortunate? ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/53 "2018-10-27T08:54:35Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > I grow wearisome of the " Just World" delusion that so many people spout. No. I grow weary; it is wearisome. Although frankly this act is starting to grow tiresome. ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/54 "2018-10-27T08:54:53Z")
You are the only person who is talking about things being just or fair. You are not the only person who is alone. You are not the only person who has given up finding someone. You are the one whining about it. There is not someone for everyone. That cliche is a lie. You would increase your chances if you didn’t come off so self-absorbed. You blame technology and feminism. Then in a fit of pure eighth grade passive aggression, you claim to be a cretin who deserves to be alone. Again with the deserving. ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/55 "2018-10-27T13:06:28Z")
Oh boy, not another self-deluded incel whining and looking for sympathy… \ ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/56 "2018-10-27T13:34:50Z")
Honey, you come across as an extremely angry person with a sense that the world is screwing you over in general, and women in particular. You want sex but you clearly do not want to get to know an actual woman – you hate us! You are not capable of a relationship with a woman, but you blame women for not wanting a relationship with you. Do you have any idea how stupid that is? Oh, I guess I know the answer to that already. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/57 "2018-10-27T14:49:29Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > You acknowledge that 'life is unfair" yet it doesn’t occur to you that some people might end up alone and neglected through no fault of their own, and for no good reason. What exactly do you think the phrase “life is unfair” means, if not “some people might end up alone and neglected through no fault of their own, and for no good reason”? _We_ all get that. _You_ seem to think that you deserve a better life and that you shouldn’t have to work at it or even examine your own (possibly problematic) personality traits to get it. When one person tells you you’re wrong, _either_ of you may be wrong. When everyone tells you you’re wrong, chances are that _you’re_ wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/58 "2018-10-27T15:09:12Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > Honey, you come across as an extremely angry person with a sense that the world is screwing you over in general, and women in particular. This sentence, I think, pretty much defines his problems in life: “In my entire time in college, I didn’t have a single worthwhile experience, meet a single worthwhile person, or LEARN a single worthwhile thing.” (Taken from his first post in [this](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=827102) thread.) If you hate the entire world, the entire world is gonna hate you back. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/59 "2018-10-27T15:14:03Z")
I’m still trying to figure out what “atomized lifestyles” are and how they figure into the equation. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/60 "2018-10-27T15:21:48Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I’m still trying to figure out what “atomized lifestyles” are and how they figure into the equation. Obviously he’s talking about unbonded atoms. He’s an O and would prefer to be part of an OH or (dare to dream) an H[sub]2[/sub]O. Unless he is in denial and really wants an O[sub]2[/sub] or a (not very stable) O[sub]3[/sub]. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566.md?page=4)