# Why I quit the dating/mating game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 26, 2018, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566 "2018-10-26T20:58:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/61 "2018-10-27T15:49:01Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I’m still trying to figure out what “atomized lifestyles” are and how they figure into the equation. The o.p. is [Doctor Manhattan](http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Jonathan_Osterman_(Watchmen)). Stranger ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/62 "2018-10-27T15:55:00Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > I grow wearisome of the " Just World" delusion that so many people spout. Why can’t people fathom that you can do everything “right” and still not succeed? Why can’t people realize that some of us are simply unfortunate? It’s possible that some people have such shitty luck that they are unable to find friends and lovers through no fault of their own. But statistically these people would have to be very rare, as it would take exceptionally shitty luck to bring this about. Let’s concede it’s possible this is happening in your case. How can you be sure if you don’t rule out a problem on your end? Talking to a professional could help you do that. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/63 "2018-10-27T16:02:26Z")
Can you quit something you’ve never done? ---
**Author:** ![Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/les_espaces_du_sommeil/32/308_2.png) [@Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Les_Espaces_Du_Sommeil)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/64 "2018-10-27T16:25:21Z")
Your user name was familiar, so I checked and bingo, you’re indeed the one who gave us this gem a few months ago : > [@Mixed gender rooms in the armed forces.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-gender-rooms-in-the-armed-forces/814925/6): > > Not so much a morality thing, it’s just that it opens up possibilities for problems. Personally, I also feel that it’s somewhat **emasculating and humiliating.** [Mixed gender rooms in the armed forces](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=855595), post #6. You’re not going to listen because you obviously enjoy wallowing in self-pity but it’s painfully obvious that your fossilized notions of “man”, “woman”, "doing everything right"and “deserving” _are_ the problem. You are wrong. And as long as you think like this, your childish whining won’t deserve consideration. Full stop. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/65 "2018-10-27T17:17:51Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > The o.p. is [Doctor Manhattan](http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Jonathan_Osterman_(Watchmen)). > > Stranger No. I’m thinking Doctor Manhattan gets all the girls. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/66 "2018-10-27T17:19:18Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > No. I’m thinking Doctor Manhattan gets all the girls. It’s the big blue penis… ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/67 "2018-10-27T17:27:29Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > Honey, you come across as an extremely angry person with a sense that the world is screwing you over in general, and women in particular. You want sex but you clearly do not want to get to know an actual woman – you hate us! You are not capable of a relationship with a woman, but you blame women for not wanting a relationship with you. Do you have any idea how stupid that is? Oh, I guess I know the answer to that already. yep. even though they’re (ostensibly) a humor site, sometimes they publish things with a more serious tone. [This one seems rather relevant,](http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html) though I don’t care for the use of “trained” in the headline. In some ways I’m like the OP; I never dated or had a GF in high school, nor in college, and am still single. But the thing that kept me out of the MRA/incel mindset was _self awareness._ I am simply not a social person. I didn’t hang out with people much at all in high school; I simply didn’t feel compelled to be around people very much. Same with college; I lived near the school I went to so I was more of a “go to class, do what research I needed to after class, then go home and study.” also to this day I hate parties, and never even tried to find any when I was in school. I also really had no idea how to even approach anyone I might have been interested in, so I didn’t really feel like trying. and that’s all on me. I (thankfully) didn’t turn it into resentment and hatred for women. OP, on the other hand, kind of frightens me. Like we’re seeing the genesis of another Elliot Rodger. ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/68 "2018-10-27T17:31:05Z")
Incels are the flat-earthers of human relationships. Although the comparison is a bit of an insult to flat-earthers. At least they don’t go around sobbing with self-pity because of the earth being flat. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/69 "2018-10-27T19:16:26Z")
> [@Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](#): > > Your user name was familiar, so I checked and bingo, you’re indeed the one who gave us this gem a few months ago : > > [Mixed gender rooms in the armed forces](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=855595), post #6. > > You’re not going to listen because you obviously enjoy wallowing in self-pity but it’s painfully obvious that your fossilized notions of “man”, “woman”, "doing everything right"and “deserving” _are_ the problem. You are wrong. And as long as you think like this, your childish whining won’t deserve consideration. Full stop. [Another relevant thread.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=852369) Our hero is horrified at the amount of money he’s spent on paid sex, and bemoans the fact that the best one he’s ever had was only like a 6 at most. (I’m not making that up). ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/70 "2018-10-27T20:23:27Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > When did I ever say that I personally wanted to “mooch off my parents?” Provide evidence of this. Here, where you asserted that [it should be illegal for parents to kick children out of their homes](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=855296). That’s the kind of go-getting attitude that women - hell, people - find irresistible in a partner. Moochy. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/71 "2018-10-27T20:49:36Z")
Well, you can always go back to hookers, amirite? ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/72 "2018-10-27T21:06:08Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > No. I grow weary; it is wearisome. Although frankly this act is starting to grow tiresome. And the OP loathsome. You know what people who want to quit something do? Quit it and not then discuss why they quit it w/ hundreds of people who didn’t ask. Fair or not (and it’s not), the saying, ‘Laugh and the world laughs w/ you, cry and you cry alone’ is usually true. Few people (aside from drama queens) enjoy the company of a person who’s sad or angry or visibly depressed or even just uninteresting. Should they change to accommodate you? They won’t. Should you change? Gonna have to if you don’t want to die alone. But what do I know? I’m just a middle-aged Western woman of poorer character and values than non-Western women, eh **Velocity**? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/73 "2018-10-27T21:09:14Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > [The look of horror on my face as I realize why I’ve never even been on a single date in my entire life.\* It was my toxic personality and misogyny all along\*!](https://i.imgur.com/timwY3Z.jpg) I stand corrected; toxic masculinity, misogyny _and_ narcissism. Or self-delusion, whichever. > [@beowulff](#): > > It’s the big blue penis… Once you’ve been blued, you know you’ve been screwed. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/74 "2018-10-27T23:13:04Z")
I vote too that the OP stop feeling sorry for himself. On the other hand… good, the odds are better for our side now. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2018, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/75 "2018-10-28T01:28:34Z")
**Moderator Note** > [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > And the OP loathsome. Since OP can mean Original Post as well as Original Poster, it’s not clear exactly what this references. If the latter meaning was intended, that’s a personal insult, which is forbidden outside of the Pit. Take it to the Pit next time. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2018, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566/76 "2018-10-28T01:31:46Z")
**Moderator Action** **Marcus Flavius** , this is one of several threads that you have started that are basically about self-pity. If you are suffering from depression, I strongly suggest that you seek professional help. In any event, you seem to need more than what the SDMB can provide for you. Please do not start any new self-pity type threads. This thread is closed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-i-quit-the-dating-mating-game/823566.md?page=3)