# Why I'm Leaving This Board **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [March 15, 2022, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063 "2022-03-15T00:11:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/201 "2022-05-25T05:10:48Z")
> [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > > [@BigT](#): > > > > Plus he would be made fun of if he comes back after "flouncing."⁢ > > I doubt it. Most people here would never behave so childishly. I mean, unless the poster had been an asshole previously, which isn’t the case here.⁢ I literally learned the word “flounce” from here. They did it all the time. Anyone who made a big deal out of leaving. I actually thought you were one of them, but maybe I have you mixed up with someone else. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/202 "2022-05-25T05:15:29Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I literally learned the word “flounce” from here. They did it all the time. Anyone who made a big deal out of leaving. I actually thought you were one of them, but maybe I have you mixed up with someone else. I left for a year or so. So far as I know, nobody gave me any grief about it. Anybody who would isn’t somebody I could be bothered with. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/203 "2022-05-25T05:20:41Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > I’m not seeing any issue to “clear up” from a Board perspective, other than to satisfy recreational curiosity. I think in the case at least one poster here, who is loudly vocal in their complaints and insults of our Mods, they just want another reason to give that Mod a hard time. But yeah. So, mods if you can? Don’t. Please. In fact, please just close this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/204 "2022-05-25T05:25:32Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Then why did you attack me in this thread, completely ignoring my point? Are you talking about this? > [@Why I'm Leaving This Board](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/71): > > @BigT, your entire patronizing diatribe derives from a failure to consider the possible range of meanings of the word “like” in context. Of course to like a sports team is qualitatively different from a moral stance. But this is not a video of a football game, is it? When @Martin_Hyde used the word “dislike” to reference OP’s opinion of this video, do you imagine that he was implying that OP disliked their haircuts? In this context, to say that OP disliked the posting of the video is a … I explained that _your_ unwarranted attacks on another poster derived from a simple linguistic mistake. When you adopt such a hostile tone yourself, don’t expect delicacy in the response. You made two long supercilious posts denigrating @Martin_Hyde. Given that they were entirely based on an error, you _had_ no point. The honorable response would have been an apology. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/205 "2022-05-25T05:48:27Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > > [@Riemann](#): > > > > I’m not seeing any issue to “clear up” from a Board perspective, other than to satisfy recreational curiosity.⁢ > > I think in the case at least one poster here, who is loudly vocal in their complaints and insults of our Mods, they just want another reason to give that Mod a hard time. > > But yeah. > > So, mods if you can? Don’t. Please. In fact, please just close this thread.⁢ I’ve made it pretty clear that I don’t think that he did anything intentionally bad. But I very much disagree with this. A grave accusation has been made by someone who everyone says they respect. We have no reason to think he’s lying. So his accusation should be taken seriously by rational folk. Part of taking it seriously would be to show if it did or did not happen. And there is a very easy way to show this. To instead shut down the thread looks really bad in that case. It makes the accusation look more valid, because they tried to stop people from talking about it.\* I think the most likely possibility is a misunderstanding. But the next most likely is that he did say something bad, but that the mods are biased due to knowing him well. Or don’t realize how bad it actually was. If that is the case, it would be good to clarify that situation to avoid such in the future. \*Note, this is not an attack. It is an observation. It’s kinda hard to discuss this sort of thing when you’re dealing with people you like. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/206 "2022-05-25T06:08:03Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > A grave accusation has been made by someone who everyone says they respect. I don’t. “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out”. He flounced out, then back, then out, then… He said posting such a picture was against International law, which it isn’t, and he more or less accused the mod of violating the law by not immediately taking it down just on his say so- which say was was totally wrong. And of course, confusing the issue by such a serious wrongful claim, he confused the staff. As was said - > [@What\_Exit](#): > > But it wasn’t dismissed. I still don’t understand this. The video was removed almost immediately upon the flag. I know as I did so and everyone supported that. A large number of mods were involved in trying to understand what the legal part of the issue was. And the accusation isn’t “grave”. The Mods very properly deleted that post, they did the right and proper thing. If the Op hadn’t confused the issue by incorrectly claiming that sharing such a picture is a crime, we wouldn’t be here. Yes, taking a picture can be a crime- by those who took it. But once it gets out in the public, there is no crime in sharing. The pictures of the POWS in _Abu_ Ghraib were widely shared in the media and are even now on Wikipedia (although slightly censored). Some of the soldiers who took the photos were indeed, court martialed and punished. What _they_ did was illegal. The media who shared those photos committed no crimes, and in fact bring those horrible injustices to light- did the _right thing._ The media were indeed- heroes of a sort. Do you think the 60 Minutes report, which caused those crimes to be investigated- was a crime- or the Right Thing? ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/207 "2022-05-25T06:18:32Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Yes, taking a picture can be a crime- by those who took it. But once it gets out in the public, there is no crime in sharing. Perhaps not in the US, but that may not be true in other countries. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/208 "2022-05-25T07:08:00Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I think in the case at least one poster here, who is loudly vocal in their complaints and insults of our Mods, they just want another reason to give that Mod a hard time. My, my, I _do_ wonder who you could be talking about… Of course, you can cite where this poster you’ve passive-aggressively left nameless _insulted_ a mod, right? ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/209 "2022-05-25T11:38:55Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > So, mods if you can? Don’t. Please. In fact, please just close this thread. I agree. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/210 "2022-05-25T11:47:38Z")
I can’t use the word “all” because I have no hard data to support it, but I think I can safely say the huge majority of relationships have their occasional rough spots. The question really is, “Is the relationship as a whole worth dealing with them and carrying on?” Only the people themselves who are in that particular situation can make that decision. Hopefully, you will reconsider after you’ve had time to process everything. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/211 "2022-05-25T11:56:01Z")
@BigT seems to think that a mod thought the Ukrainian soldier who humiliated the Russian soldier was a hero, based on something i said. @BigT is wrong. No one said any such thing in the now-hidden discussion. If i said something that can be interpreted that way, i misspoke. All i can find that I wrote about the disagreement is: > [@puzzlegal](#): > > I don’t remember the exact words. But i believe @Chronos suggested it was morally virtuous for a journalist to expose war crimes, and that we shouldn’t censor such journalism. I will miss @gdave, whom i have always respected as a poster. But i understand why he’s frustrated with the board’s style, and has decided he needs, at least, a break. I don’t think there are any villains in this story. Well, except perhaps the people fighting for the right to use “retard” as an insult. But i really think we’ve thrashed out this piece of the matter enough. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/212 "2022-05-25T12:04:20Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I literally learned the word “flounce” from here. They did it all the time. Anyone who made a big deal out of leaving. You mean people who yell “I bid you good day, sir!”, stomp their way to the door, slam it behind them, then sneak back in the next morning [like George Costanza](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CitZwciS-aE) pretending it never happenned? Nah, nobody would make fun of someone for not sticking a dramatic flounce. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/213 "2022-05-25T12:08:09Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > @BigT seems to think that a mod thought the Ukrainian soldier who humiliated the Russian soldier was a hero, based on something i said. @BigT is wrong. No one said any such thing in the now-hidden discussion. If i said something that can be interpreted that way, i misspoke. I don’t know what prompted @BigT to think that, but here’s what made me think that, and it wasn’t anything you wrote: > [@gdave](#): > > I thought Chronos’ “questions” were snide, dismissive, and functionally indistinguishable from sealioning. But even if I over-reacted to his questions, the simple fact is that he went far beyond merely asking questions. He made a positive defense of the video, and glorified those responsible as “heroes”. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/214 "2022-05-25T12:08:56Z")
I feel absolutely no need to see the original exchange. Gdave has admitted that the initial material was ‘triggering’ for him, which means he was acting emotionally and not logically. The moderators have provided us with quotes, a timeline, and an overview of their consensus. We’re not a congressional committee. We have no right or purpose to demand transcripts from private conversations. The crux for me, though, is this: If we only had gdave’s posts, and no moderator input, we would think that the offending material remained up for a long time and that it was up while the interaction with Chronos was going on. But that isn’t what happened. The post was taken down almost immediately and nobody ever considered putting it back up. Everything that follows from there is the fruit of that poisoned tree. I would believe that gdave didn’t actually **know** the post had been removed because, again, the material was triggering for him and he probably didn’t want to go looking for it at the time. In that ignorance, it’s understandable that the tenor of his conversation with Chronos would have taken a much different tone - he might have felt like he was desperately fighting for what was right. But if that’s the case, **knowing that the post was taken down almost immediately** should invite a fresh consideration of his feelings about the interaction and his interpretation of Chronos’s motivations. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/215 "2022-05-25T12:27:41Z")
I believe that @gdave thought the video was taken by the soldiers for purposes of propaganda, and tweeting it was done by them, or at best, played into their hands. And that @Chronos thought it was taken by a journalist, or at least, the tweet linked was tweeted by a journalist, not by anyone responsible for what was done to the captured soldier, and that it served to publicize that atrocities were taking place. And yes, this discussion all took place after the link was taken down. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/216 "2022-05-25T13:39:49Z")
**Moderator Note** > [@Riemann](#): > > Any desire I have to make fun of people will continue to be directed solely toward you, @BigT. If you want to have a go at someone, do so in the Pit, not in ATMB. Treat others with respect in this forum. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/217 "2022-05-25T18:51:44Z")
I want to say one more thing. @gdave compared this incident to the thread on using “retard” as a slur. And in case anyone doesn’t understand the connection, i want to make it really explicit. In both cases, the privileged want to protect their rights. Their right to see a video, to use a word, to “learn who the bigots are by their language”. And the unprivileged, and those who identify with them, shudder and think, “shit, I’m going to be forced to see this.” ---
**Author:** ![superwombat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superwombat/32/16616_2.png) [@superwombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/superwombat)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2022, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/218 "2022-05-26T00:21:36Z")
I’m curious why @Chronos hasn’t weighed in yet in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2022, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/219 "2022-05-26T00:48:30Z")
It is to laugh. I am sure **Chronos** doesn’t need the abuse. > [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > I feel absolutely no need to see the original exchange. Gdave has admitted that the initial material was ‘triggering’ for him, which means he was acting emotionally and not logically. The moderators have provided us with quotes, a timeline, and an overview of their consensus. Very eloquent and well written post. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2022, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063/220 "2022-05-26T01:10:17Z")
> [@superwombat](#): > > I’m curious why @Chronos hasn’t weighed in yet in this thread. If I had been the mod in this situation, I would also avoid this thread. It’s bad enough that he was abused by the OP. It would just be further torture to actually participate in the thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-im-leaving-this-board/961063.md?page=12)