# Why is a dating preference for Asian women so readily disparaged? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 8, 2013, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506 "2013-06-08T21:52:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/121 "2013-06-13T07:22:43Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > I see a lot of deconstructivist dancing around the fact here that East Asian women are just damn good looking on average, and their looks hold up very well with age. There are pop idols from the 90s like Vivian Hsu and Shu Qi, well into their late 30s, who look just as hot as ever; and most gals my own age around me here are looking very trim and healthy. Meanwhile I look on Facebook at women I went to high school with back in the US, and half of them are obese and look to be on the verge of developing diabetes. You are correct about most Asian women looking extremely attractive, while many western women are overweight, but unfortunately, many Asian women are now following their western sisters in piling on the fat. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/122 "2013-06-13T08:37:57Z")
> [@Doggo](#): > > While I don’t think that Asian women’s looks “hold up” better with age than western women, there is no doubt that most Asian women are extremely attractive. It all depends on what you consider attractive though, isn’t it? All I’m really getting at is that looks are highly subjective. When I see someone say that on average an entire group of women are not just good looking but damned good looking as **fact** then it’s hard to take things they say seriously. You’re not touting it as fact but you’re also in there saying most (not many, but most) Asian women are extremely attractive and you say it’s no doubt. That’s just nuts to me and more than a little arrogant that anyone thinks they can confidently say that about any group of people when attractiveness is really not something that can be measured due to varied opinions. It’s certainly one thing to say “In my opinion blah blah blah” but to say no doubt or it’s fact? Pretty ridiculous because everyone’s mileage does vary. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/123 "2013-06-13T10:57:04Z")
Just as another data point, I’ve known a few guys who liked asian girls, and precisely none of them mentioned attributes like “submissive”. They just like how, on average, they look: possibly amplified by the fact that in the UK people of East Asian descent are not very common, so there’s an element of mystery, exotic blah blah. Also, another data point on the living in Asia thing: I am living in China right now and can attest that the women here are confident and interesting, and expats have to earn their respect like anyone else. Just as I expected it would be. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/124 "2013-06-13T15:44:20Z")
I just want to ask the OP why they think that the reverse “women dating Asian men” is not a “thing”. ---
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/125 "2013-06-14T05:34:17Z")
> [@simple\_homer](#): > > I really don’t see how there is any difference between “yellow fever”, and “busty blonde fever”. > I have known many guys that really don’t care anything about the woman they date as long as she is blonde and has large breasts. > > What about the large number of women that insist upon only dating and marrying a tall man ? > They seem to mainly focus on his height. That seems very superficial also. And, what about women that will only date men that have a well paying job, look handsome, drive an expensive car etc etc. Isn’t that also superficial? ---
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/126 "2013-06-14T05:40:27Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > It all depends on what you consider attractive though, isn’t it? All I’m really getting at is that looks are highly subjective. > > When I see someone say that on average an entire group of women are not just good looking but damned good looking as **fact** then it’s hard to take things they say seriously. You’re not touting it as fact but you’re also in there saying most (not many, but most) Asian women are extremely attractive and you say it’s no doubt. > > That’s just nuts to me and more than a little arrogant that anyone thinks they can confidently say that about any group of people when attractiveness is really not something that can be measured due to varied opinions. It’s certainly one thing to say “In my opinion blah blah blah” but to say no doubt or it’s fact? Pretty ridiculous because everyone’s mileage does vary. I say it because I see DDG women all over the place in Thailand and Singapore, and hundreds of thousands of western men also think it’s true. Being pedantic about “many” vs “most” won’t change that. ---
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/127 "2013-06-14T05:43:00Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I think it’s hard for some people to understand why people would object to being objectified. I’d have absolutely no problem with it for a non-serious relationship. And, frankly, that’s how a lot relationships with men work. They initially objectify a woman because they find her hot, and then grow to love her personality, too–it blossoms from a casual to a full relationship. It seems odd to us that you would object to this, as it’s just one of the main ways relationships work. > > Are you women telling me that you’ve never seen a guy, thought he was hot, dated him to get to know him, and then later found out that you were long-term relationship material? Because you initially objectified him–in your mind, he was just some hot guy before you got to know him. > > It’s not the objectification of Asian women that is objectionable, in my opinion. It’s the racism. Only dating one ethnicity is unusual, and racism is often a reason for doing so, so people are rightfully suspicious. I’ve noticed that Asian women are more likely to be hot than other ethnicities myself, but I’m not exclusively attracted to them. Chances are, you wouldn’t see me with a stream of different Asian girlfriends. > > Not that there isn’t a bit of bigotry involved here, too. I may not really be an anime-lover, but that derogatory term, implying a mental defect in the people involved, is just so insulting. Particularly because it’s apparently an acceptable form of bigotry right now. If it weren’t so insulting, it would be funny, as the only people who even know the term are already pretty nerdy themselves, and are already looked down upon for that trait. Are you not aware that it’s only 'objectivism" when men do it to women, LOL. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/128 "2013-06-14T05:50:55Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > 🙂 Eh, it’s a bit complicated. I am “Korean Korean” but my family lived in the US from when I was 6 months old to when I was almost 13. I’ve been in Korea ever since, other than the two years I was in Chicago for grad school. Huh. I have to join Namkcalb in his confusion. For some reason I thought you had grown up in Korea and first come to America as a college student. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/129 "2013-06-14T08:23:00Z")
> [@Doggo](#): > > I say it because I see DDG women all over the place in Thailand and Singapore, and hundreds of thousands of western men also think it’s true. Being pedantic about “many” vs “most” won’t change that. You think this is about the difference between many and most? The mind boggles. Let’s try it again but read slower this time. Looks are subjective. What you find drop dead gorgeous can be just okay or even ick to other people. Whippity doo that hundreds of thousands of western men think it’s true. Hundreds of thousands of western men probably also don’t agree. Maybe millions of men think Swedish women are the hottest around while millions more may be unimpressed. To pretend that you can factually say that a group of people are hotter than another group of people (especially as wide a group as “Asian women”) is nutso crazypants or hopelessly daft. Facts when it comes to attractive? Hell you could take the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition and show it to a hundred thousand men and each model will have numerous guys thinking she’s the hottest thing ever while simultaneously having numerous guys think she’s a dog. That’s what’s so awesome about different tastes. Now, this little side conversation has gone on long enough for me. If you want to continue to act like you can say these things as if they are fact rather than just your opinion then I say bless your heart and don’t let things like logic stop you. Be you! ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/130 "2013-06-14T08:59:28Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Hell you could take the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition and show it to a hundred thousand men and each model will have numerous guys thinking she’s the hottest thing ever while simultaneously having numerous guys think she’s a dog. That’s what’s so awesome about different tastes. I agree with you that there is no “fact” of which group is more attractive, and that it is subjective. But subjective is not the same thing as _arbitrary_, and I think with this example you are leaning towards the latter. At the very least virtually all models are young, have good skin and symmetry, all of which are pretty much universally desired (although youth is a largely gender-specific one). Also, has no-one commented on your name? ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/131 "2013-06-14T09:03:18Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > He lives in Taiwan not a fantasy world. > > Anyway, Koxinga is a pirate king, he’s awesome by default Aw, shucks, Namkcalb, thanks – and if I’m in a fantasy world then go ahead and pop me in a straightjacket, 'cause I suspect I’m not coming back. [QUOTE=Sleeps With Butterflies] To pretend that you can factually say that a group of people are hotter than another group of people (especially as wide a group as “Asian women”) is nutso crazypants or hopelessly daft. Facts when it comes to attractive? Hell you could take the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition and show it to a hundred thousand men and each model will have numerous guys thinking she’s the hottest thing ever while simultaneously having numerous guys think she’s a dog. That’s what’s so awesome about different tastes. [/QUOTE] But physical attractiveness does have a number of quantifiable factors. For example, the United States has the [highest obesity rate in the world](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidemiology_of_obesity), and Japan the lowest. Over a _third_ of American women are obese. Given that there’s an evolutionary predilection for healthy mates, and obesity is a visual cue to unhealthiness, couldn’t you say that according to at least one parameter Japanese women should be more sexually attractive on average than American women, other things being equal? ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/132 "2013-06-14T10:58:11Z")
I know at least one guy who reports being “repulsed” by Asian women. I think that level of antipathy is rare, but clearly not everyone agrees Asian women are the hottest thing around. Indeed, it’s pretty obvious that Asian ladies don’t float everyone’s boat. I knew people in China who dated constantly, but I also know guys who only dates expats and never dated Chinese women. ---
**Author:** ![Scholar\_Beardpig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Scholar\_Beardpig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scholar_Beardpig)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/133 "2013-06-14T11:07:37Z")
I just wanted to come in and shout that I mostly date Chinese women, but then again, I live in China. ---
**Author:** ![BrianJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/54ee81/32.png) [@BrianJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrianJ)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/134 "2013-06-14T11:21:23Z")
I’ve been thinking about this lately. While I do think that the existence of men who think both that Asian women are all submissive and that they prefer dating submissive women are well within the realm of possibility, my guess is they are in the extreme minority of mixed race couples. What I think is far more likely, (and no, I’m not accusing any posters in this thread of this) is that this idea some form of passive-agressive racism on the part of the accusers. As in " I think interracial relationships are abnormal, therefore the participants in those relationships must be in them for abnormal reasons". ---
**Author:** ![simple\_homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@simple\_homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simple_homer)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/135 "2013-06-14T11:46:25Z")
> [@BrianJ](#): > > I’ve been thinking about this lately. > > While I do think that the existence of men who think both that Asian women are all submissive and that they prefer dating submissive women are well within the realm of possibility, my guess is they are in the extreme minority of mixed race couples. > > What I think is far more likely, (and no, I’m not accusing any posters in this thread of this) is that this idea some form of passive-agressive racism on the part of the accusers. > > As in " I think interracial relationships are abnormal, therefore the participants in those relationships must be in them for abnormal reasons". +1 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/136 "2013-06-14T14:02:21Z")
I have a sort-of-related question that just occurred to me for the first time: why the hell aren’t there any SE Asian supermodels in the West? > [@](#): > > While I do think that the existence of men who think both that Asian women are all submissive and that they prefer dating submissive women are well within the realm of possibility, my guess is they are in the extreme minority of mixed race couples. I think you have to draw a distinction between women of Asian descent and women who are actually from Asia. If you are dating a fourth-generation immigrant in the US, you probably aren’t dating the culture. She most likely eats wings and grew up in a house with a white picket fence or whatever just like you did. If you seek out new immigrants or go to Asia to meet chicks, that’s different. Anyway, when you see a bunch of guys who say ridiculous things like: > [@](#): > > …there is no doubt that most Asian women are extremely attractive. …you’re bound to get suspicious. That’s not to say that there aren’t attractive Asian women, of course. Two of my five Doper crushes are of Asian extraction. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/137 "2013-06-14T14:53:37Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > Although I think that guys who actually live in Asia find out very quickly that this stereotype is not true. Expats in Korea have a different stereotype in their minds when they think of Korean women: beautiful but demanding and high maintenance, and oftentimes loving the drama. It’s really not an accurate stereotype anywhere really. Personally I’ve found foreign-born Asian girls to be super ambitious and exacting. I’ve found certain American-born asian girls to be demanding and high-maintenance and love the drama as well. Others are very Americanized and like white guys and personality-wise are indistinguishable from a caucasian American. THe demure, submissive, hide-your-laugh-behind-a-bamboo-fan geisha is about as common as a Valkyrie or a Vestal Virgin. > [@Koxinga](#): > > I see a lot of deconstructivist dancing around the fact here that East Asian women are just damn good looking on average, and their looks hold up very well with age. There are pop idols from the 90s like Vivian Hsu and Shu Qi, well into their late 30s, who look just as hot as ever; and most gals my own age around me here are looking very trim and healthy. Meanwhile I look on Facebook at women I went to high school with back in the US, and half of them are obese and look to be on the verge of developing diabetes. I don’t think it’s fair to copare pop stars and the people of Wal Mart. There are a fair amount of homely and ugly Asians out there (no offense?). The weight issue is true - Asians tend to be thinner but if you want to point out generalities, Asians also don’t have the curves, legs, or smile (teeth) of Americans. > [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > I just want to ask the OP why they think that the reverse “women dating Asian men” is not a “thing”. Asian women and white guys are the most common interracial couple in the US while asian men with white women is half as common. The least is asian men taking a black wife. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/138 "2013-06-14T14:54:54Z")
Where are those statistics from? ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/139 "2013-06-14T15:03:55Z")
Shorter white guys like myself at 5’ 6" also find a wider pool of height appropriate women amoung asians. ---
**Author:** ![simple\_homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@simple\_homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simple_homer)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506/140 "2013-06-14T15:11:58Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Shorter white guys like myself at 5’ 6" also find a wider pool of height appropriate women amoung asians. I am 5’ 6" also, and I also enjoy being able to meet and date Asian women that are shorter than myself. I have dated women that are taller than me, and it feels like being with a man, so the opportunity to meet and date shorter women is nice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-dating-preference-for-asian-women-so-readily-disparaged/660506.md?page=8)