# Why is a shouting woman so scary? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 2, 2016, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712 "2016-05-02T21:33:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/21 "2016-05-03T17:48:40Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > An angry shouting woman is nowhere near as frightening SS as a soft-spoken white person pointing a gun at me while chanting “Nigger.” Is that more, or less, as frightening as a soft-spoken black person pointing a gun at you while chanting “Nigger”? For reference purposes, which of these three scenarios do you most likely expect to encounter? ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/22 "2016-05-03T17:59:09Z")
> [@Anny\_Middon](#): > > A column in today’s Chicago Tribune by syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker said this: > > I know I’m exceptionally dense about some things, but I don’t get it. Why is a woman’s raised voice every man’s nightmare? You’re not dense. It was Kathleen Parker who said, “There’s no denying that a woman’s raised voice is every man’s nightmare — for so many obvious reasons”. It’s Parker who claims it’s “every man’s nightmare” and that it’s “obvious” what those reasons are. Personally, I think Kathleen Parker is full of shit and wants her readers to believe this is every man’s nightmare. In short, it’s only her opinion, or possibly her wish, and shouldn’t be considered a fact. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/23 "2016-05-03T19:12:15Z")
Because bitch be crazy. That’s why. And since the PC police won’t let you slap a hysterical woman, there’s no way to calm them down. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/24 "2016-05-03T19:15:41Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > My first thought was, I know how to react to a shouting man who gets all up in my face; I prepare to physically attack him. And I know how to react to a shouting woman who gets all up in my face: I of course can’t hit her _first_, and I also can’t hit her _back_, and I should prepare to be arrested even if I do nothing. Exactly, of course we’re talking about a situation in public and without any prior history of violence or abuse. Unless the woman is Ronda Rousey (if at all) the man would always be in a distavantage after hitting her, even after taking several hits. If a woman the size of my wife, who is 20cm and 40kg less than I am starts physically attacking me I could block her punches and kicks for a while but if she was determined to do me real harm I would have to hit her and then, no matter how perfectly innocent, how much exculpatory evidence there is I know I’ll be the bad guy. That’s the nightmare. It’s like those videos where they compare a man shouting and shoving a woman on the street and then the opposite. The man never gets even the slightest hint of simpathy. A couple of very short videos [In this video, the guy’s abused and people do nothing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlHVANXh-yg) [This video shows a woman hitting a man, nothing happens. The second he responds, he’s the bad guy.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNrWuZV3jjw) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/25 "2016-05-03T20:08:14Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > If a woman the size of my wife, who is 20cm and 40kg less than I am starts physically attacking me I could block her punches and kicks for a while but if she was determined to do me real harm I would have to hit her and then, no matter how perfectly innocent, how much exculpatory evidence there is I know I’ll be the bad guy. > That’s the nightmare. Well, that’s just silly. You don’t need to hit her; once you’ve blocked her enough times, you’ve already _bruised_ her, which makes you the bad guy who likes to smack women around! Big man, huh? Real tough guy, aren’t you? Get in the squad car. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/26 "2016-05-03T20:18:54Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Some people may not like this answer but it is the simplest and most direct one. A shouting woman (meaning an angry, shouting one) means that she has become emotionally unstable and you WILL have to deal with the consequences both immediately and probably the foreseeable future until you appease her somehow in ways that you can only begin to imagine… This is exactly true for shouting men as well. The rest of us are just more familiar with shouting men and so not as alarmed by it. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/27 "2016-05-03T20:33:25Z")
Jesus, this is escalating quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/28 "2016-05-03T20:39:40Z")
**NO IT ISN’T!!!** Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/29 "2016-05-03T20:41:33Z")
Ah, you want arguments! Next door on the left. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/30 "2016-05-03T20:47:59Z")
> [@Anny\_Middon](#): > > A mom screams at her child, “Put that down this instant!” and any man within earshot should not be alarmed. Because it’s not directed at the man himself. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/31 "2016-05-03T20:58:07Z")
Most women’s voices dont carry well so you dont hear it often. I’ve even seen female coaches have problems yelling at players on the field. ---
**Author:** ![Anny\_Middon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Anny\_Middon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anny_Middon)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/32 "2016-05-03T21:12:51Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Because it’s not directed at the man himself. But my OP did not say that the shouting was directed at the man. The Parker column didn’t specify that it was only when the shouting was directed at the man did the man find it nightmarish. I find it somewhat curious that so many here immediately assumed that the woman shouting was directing it at a man. But then when Trump commented about HRC shouting, her raised voice was not directed at him. So apparently some find any shout by a woman, even if it’s “Uno!”, to be somehow disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/33 "2016-05-03T21:26:31Z")
Does anyone really chant while they’re holding someone at gunpoint? ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/34 "2016-05-03T22:53:20Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Most women’s voices dont carry well so you dont hear it often. I’ve even seen female coaches have problems yelling at players on the field. Yes. This is why there are so few female singers. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/35 "2016-05-03T22:56:29Z")
The idea that a woman shouting is more frightening than a man shouting is monumentally stupid. I suppose it makes sense, if you’re a straight man, since few people have the power to emotionally harm us like our romantic partners. Trust me when I say, as a woman, a shouting man scares me exponentially more. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/36 "2016-05-03T23:06:51Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > It depends on the woman. Some of them are quite skilled at using their advantages to inflict harm and a few of them are truly dangerous. Indeed, many women understand that they can physically abuse a man and he is not allowed to defend himself. [70% of nonreciprocal DV](http://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/abs/10.2105/AJPH.2005.079020) is by women. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/37 "2016-05-03T23:10:22Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > Exactly, of course we’re talking about a situation in public and without any prior history of violence or abuse. > Unless the woman is Ronda Rousey (if at all) the man would always be in a distavantage after hitting her, even after taking several hits. If a woman the size of my wife, who is 20cm and 40kg less than I am starts physically attacking me I could block her punches and kicks for a while but if she was determined to do me real harm I would have to hit her and then, no matter how perfectly innocent, how much exculpatory evidence there is I know I’ll be the bad guy. > That’s the nightmare. > > It’s like those videos where they compare a man shouting and shoving a woman on the street and then the opposite. The man never gets even the slightest hint of simpathy. > > A couple of very short videos > [In this video, the guy’s abused and people do nothing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlHVANXh-yg) > [This video shows a woman hitting a man, nothing happens. The second he responds, he’s the bad guy.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNrWuZV3jjw) Thank you very much – domestic violence against men is a serious issue which has been ignored by society for too long. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/38 "2016-05-03T23:12:53Z")
> [@DataX](#): > > As everyone that’s been alive the last five months knows - Donald Trump likes to attack people - and he does it both against strengths and weaknesses. Hillary is a weak candidate, but Donald Trump is **much weaker** – he is guaranteed to lose the election to her. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/39 "2016-05-03T23:18:33Z")
For those posting from 1955, _I Love Lucy_ gets cancelled in a couple of years. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/40 "2016-05-03T23:26:11Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > The idea that a woman shouting is more frightening than a man shouting is monumentally stupid. I suppose it makes sense, if you’re a straight man, since few people have the power to emotionally harm us like our romantic partners. Trust me when I say, as a woman, a shouting man scares me exponentially more. …well, that’s why the proposition is that it’s every MAN’s worst nightmare. So… Speaking as a man (and acknowledging the hyperbole in the statement- of course it’s not my worst nightmare- my worst nightmare is getting sucked into the vortex of a diving whale like in Moby-Dick (repeated assurances that such a thing is physically impossible notwithstanding)), a screaming woman is distressing to me because: It is a sign of conflict- a conflict that is past the point of deescalation and a conflict that I cannot win. A screaming woman means that I cannot reason with her, I cannot withdraw from the situation, I cannot stay in the situation, I cannot scream back, and I can essentially do nothing, which is both emasculating and sets the tone for future interactions with that woman (if any- for me, personally, there wouldn’t be). It’s the ultimate no-win situation. There is nothing a man can do in response to a screaming woman that will end well for him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712.md?page=3)