# Why is a shouting woman so scary? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 2, 2016, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712 "2016-05-02T21:33:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/41 "2016-05-03T23:29:21Z")
When my wife yells at me, it is a nightmare. It means no sex tonight and maybe no sex tomorrow night either. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/42 "2016-05-03T23:46:33Z")
> [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](#): > > …well, that’s why the proposition is that it’s every MAN’s worst nightmare. So… > Speaking as a man (and acknowledging the hyperbole in the statement- of course it’s not my worst nightmare- my worst nightmare is getting sucked into the vortex of a diving whale like in Moby-Dick (repeated assurances that such a thing is physically impossible notwithstanding)), a screaming woman is distressing to me because: > > It is a sign of conflict- a conflict that is past the point of deescalation and a conflict that I cannot win. A screaming woman means that I cannot reason with her, I cannot withdraw from the situation, I cannot stay in the situation, I cannot scream back, and I can essentially do nothing, which is both emasculating and sets the tone for future interactions with that woman (if any- for me, personally, there wouldn’t be). > > It’s the ultimate no-win situation. There is nothing a man can do in response to a screaming woman that will end well for him. Very well said. That is what I was trying to get at but you expressed it much better than I did. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/43 "2016-05-04T00:21:33Z")
I think some of you are confusing the OP’s “a woman’s raised voice [as in a female candidate speaking passionately to a crowd]” with “when my SO is very upset with me and yelling at me.” Or do you take a female candidate speaking passionately to a crowd to be equally as distressing? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/44 "2016-05-04T02:33:23Z")
Raised voice for me is no issue; I actually rather like it seeing a woman forcefully push her view/point. But bat-shit crazy yelling is something I truly dread. For me its because I view it as a no-win situation. I don’t want to try and shout down a woman and I would really prefer not be in the position to have to hit one (should she turn physically violent). And at least in my experience rarely do they quiet down or go away once they get really wound up. So usually its me who does the fade and finds other places to be. Another guy? No problem; been there, done that, and got a scar or two to prove it. But from a woman, no matter how I try, I just see it and react differently. ---
**Author:** ![SuperAbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@SuperAbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperAbe)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/45 "2016-05-04T04:04:31Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > I think some of you are confusing the OP’s “a woman’s raised voice [as in a female candidate speaking passionately to a crowd]” with “when my SO is very upset with me and yelling at me.” > > Or do you take a female candidate speaking passionately to a crowd to be equally as distressing? Or perhaps one or more of these posters is Bill Clinton… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/46 "2016-05-04T04:13:00Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > I think some of you are confusing the OP’s “a woman’s raised voice [as in a female candidate speaking passionately to a crowd]” with “when my SO is very upset with me and yelling at me.” > > Or do you take a female candidate speaking passionately to a crowd to be equally as distressing? I’m with these guys I think it was a metaphor for women “raising” their voice in politics and stuff which she said most men fear … ---
**Author:** ![Krouget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b38774/32.png) [@Krouget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krouget)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/47 "2016-05-04T12:43:24Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > You’re not dense. It was Kathleen Parker who said, “There’s no denying that a woman’s raised voice is every man’s nightmare — for so many obvious reasons”. It’s Parker who claims it’s “every man’s nightmare” and that it’s “obvious” what those reasons are. Personally, I think Kathleen Parker is full of shit and wants her readers to believe this is every man’s nightmare. In short, it’s only her opinion, or possibly her wish, and shouldn’t be considered a fact. I’m going to side with this. A shouting woman (or man) isn’t remotely close to my worst nightmare. There are infinitely more (or actual) nightmarish things in life, than someone raising their voice. Heck, depending on what culture you’re from, normal conversation can be misinterpreted as shouting, at times. 🙂 That said, is it fun to deal with? Not really. But as with most things, it runs its course and so long as it doesn’t escalate, it’s manageable. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/48 "2016-05-04T13:47:25Z")
> [@Anny\_Middon](#): > > But my OP did not say that the shouting was directed at the man. The Parker column didn’t specify that it was only when the shouting was directed at the man did the man find it nightmarish. > > I find it somewhat curious that so many here immediately assumed that the woman shouting was directing it at a man. But then when Trump commented about HRC shouting, her raised voice was not directed at him. So apparently some find any shout by a woman, even if it’s “Uno!”, to be somehow disturbing. Two points: [ol] [li]It’s human nature to be uncomfortable with things you associate with difficult and unpleasant situations, even if the specific instance at hand does not have those same ramifications.[/li][li]Male candidates have the same issues in dealing with aggressive female candidates that male partners have in dealing with shouting female partners. To not respond makes you weak and to respond in kind makes you look like a bully. So the suggestion that Trump might have to deal with an aggressive Hillary would be a frightening one.[/li][/ol] [That said, I’ve not read the article being quoted here.] ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712/49 "2016-05-04T14:06:33Z")
> [@Anny\_Middon](#): > > Why is a woman’s raised voice every man’s nightmare? You KNOW why!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-a-shouting-woman-so-scary/753712.md?page=2)