We used to have AOL, but I got booted a LOT. So, we got rid of it (only took ten minutes to convince the guy to let us off the hook). Anyway, I got a call from AOL recently (they call us every two months or so). I swear, I am not making this up:
ME: Hello?
AOL: May I speak to Mr. _____?
ME: He isn’t in. This is his wife.
AOL: Oh, well that’s great! I’m calling from AOL, and we have a special offer right now…
ME: I’m sorry to interrupt, but we don’t have a computer (NOTE: This wasn’t a lie. At the time he called, we didn’t have a computer)
AOL: Oh, that’s okay. We’re offering free email until March 31st.
ME: I just said that I don’t have a computer.
AOL: The offer is free.
ME: I understand that. But without a computer, how do you suppose I would use the internet?
AOL: Well, what we’re offering is free email. That’s different.
ME: I’m pretty sure that you need a computer in order to check email.
AOL: Oh, I see what you’re saying. Well…you could use it at work.
ME: I don’t think my boss would appreciate that.
AOL: Of course…well, you could go to a friend’s house and use their computer.
ME: If I did that, I could just as well use a web-based email service.
AOL: But this is a free offer.
ME: That’s great, but it’s still of no use to me.
AOL: If you change your mind, give us a call at…
ME: (click)
I know, I should have just hung up sooner, but the whole thing was cracking me up. The guy reminded me of Nigel from “This is Spinal Tap”: “But this one goes to eleven.”