# Why is C. K. Dexter Haven chasing me across the hill on a giant lawn tractor? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 19, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920 "2005-02-19T18:52:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/1 "2005-02-19T18:52:12Z")
I’m sick as dog and have been for several days. In the midst of my fevered dreams last night I lost three lbs of water weight, and was chased across Bliss by C. K. Dexter Haven. "[Bliss" is a Microsoft screensaver](http://www.softpedia.com/progScreenshots/Windows-XP-Bliss-Screen-Saver-Screenshot-8638.html)that features an idyllic, gently sloping green grass hill with fluffy, white clouds rolling by overhead. In the midst of this little Eden I was chased from pristine hill to hill by a man astride a [huge institutional style lawn tractor](http://www.schultesales.com/). Blades whirring he slowly (they aren’t that speedy) pursued me across the verdant fields. “My God what did I ever do to you?” I asked. “It’s what you didn’t do! You never do what you’re supposed to!” he shouted. He had me there. I stopped running, and jumped onboard the tractor, hanging onto the side Keystone Kops style. I noticed a taxicab style ID on the sun visor. It said “C. K. Dexter Haven” . I’m large and strong enough to kill you and eat you if I had to" I told him desperately. "It doesn’t matter,” he said. “I’m not edible, I’m a mythical creature!” “Like a unicorn?” I asked. “Just like!” He replied, “Except I don’t eat lilies. Now beat it!” Stunned at the obscure literary reference I dropped off his engine of destruction and rolled down the hill over and over until I woke up when I reached the bottom. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/2 "2005-02-19T19:11:59Z")
…Huwha? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/3 "2005-02-19T19:17:09Z")
Could have been worse; could have been **Lynn Bodoni**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/4 "2005-02-19T19:18:57Z")
Well, if I had to be chased across Bliss, can’t think of anyone I’d rather be chased by than **C.K. Dexter Haven**. uh, if I had to be chased by **C.K. Dexter Haven** , I can’t think of a better place for it to happen than Bliss… or something like that… 😕 :eek: 😕 :eek: 😕 :eek: 😕 Whatever bug has you this sick, you should patent it. It sounds better than drugs! 😃 (get better soon, 'mkay?) ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/5 "2005-02-19T19:32:25Z")
[Freud]Th slowly spinning blades are obviously a phallic symbol.[/Freud] ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/6 "2005-02-19T20:14:19Z")
In a dream I was once chased off a cliff by a herd of wild blueberries. At the bottom of the cliff was a giant bolw of custard. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/7 "2005-02-19T20:46:41Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Could have been worse; could have been **Lynn Bodoni**. 😃 Driving a zamboni, of course. On an ice rink of frozen tequila. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/8 "2005-02-19T21:29:44Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Driving a zamboni, of course. On an ice rink of frozen tequila. Zambonis are mythical creatures. 😉😃 ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/9 "2005-02-19T21:32:28Z")
You, **astro** , are a booby, and you will have to be put in the booby-hatch 'till you’re saner. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/10 "2005-02-19T21:41:07Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Zambonis are mythical creatures. > 😉😃 Are they pretty much your favorite? ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/11 "2005-02-19T21:42:02Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Zambonis are mythical creatures. > 😉😃 Hey, the players and league are still talking! There’s still hope! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/12 "2005-02-19T22:21:43Z")
I think it should be a new rule that if ANYBODY posts a dream in a thread it better be as good as this one. **astro** , you a a booby and they are going to take you to the boobyhatch. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/13 "2005-02-20T02:02:28Z")
What kind of name is C.K. Dexter Haven? ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/14 "2005-02-20T03:57:19Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > What kind of name is C.K. Dexter Haven? I’m not sure. I would think he’s the sort of guy thinks all writers drink to excess and beat there wives. Which would explain why at one time he secretly wanted to be a writer. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/15 "2005-02-20T03:59:44Z")
We don’t spell english so good on Twilo. :smack: “who thinks” dammit. “their wives” double dammit. sits in corner sheepishly nibbling a walnut ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/16 "2005-02-20T10:20:11Z")
You didn’t know that Admins can reach into your dreams? Just wait until they start locking parts of your super-ego and then ban your id for inappropriate sexual content. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/17 "2005-02-20T11:11:11Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > You didn’t know that Admins can reach into your dreams? Just wait until they start locking parts of your super-ego and then ban your id for inappropriate sexual content. They won’t get at my id… … wait for it … it’s too well 'idden! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/18 "2005-02-20T11:14:02Z")
The Dream Admins, they live inside of my head The Dream Admins, they come to me in my bed Ohhh-no-ohhh-ohhh! ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/19 "2005-02-20T15:22:52Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > The Dream Admins, they live inside of my head > The Dream Admins, they come to me in my bed > Ohhh-no-ohhh-ohhh! Be afraid. Be very afraid. ---
**Author:** ![percypercy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@percypercy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/percypercy)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2005, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920/20 "2005-02-20T15:39:44Z")
Nyquil gives me the best dreams. It’s almost like LSD(so I understand). Or I sleepwalk which is always amusing. -Lil [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-c-k-dexter-haven-chasing-me-across-the-hill-on-a-giant-lawn-tractor/290920.md?page=2)