# Why is everyone so afraid of Hyacinth Bucket? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 19, 2006, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249 "2006-06-19T03:43:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/1 "2006-06-19T03:43:44Z")
Just tell her to bugger off already. Ah, Sunday late night TV, gotta love it. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/2 "2006-06-19T03:45:44Z")
Ain’t she great? She’s so rude and obnoxious, but everyone tippy-toes around her so they don’t hurt **her** feelings. Except Onslow, of course. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/3 "2006-06-19T03:48:01Z")
IMHO a lot of it’s to do with the class she tries to inhabit. Upper middle class english folks, who want to “keep up appearances” (hence the name of the show) and who wouldn’t want to cause a fuss. Socially, it’s a lot more proper to be vaguely polite to someone who is boorish and terribly annoying, than to ream them and slam the door in their face. So everyone tippytoes around her, knowing that they’re doing the “right” thing and she’s the terrible thorn in the bunch of roses. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/4 "2006-06-19T03:52:51Z")
yeah, one of the subtle differences between US and them. Sometimes it’s kind of funny, and I find some of the other characters pretty amusing at times in how they react to her. But sometimes I think it would be funnier to go Rambo on her ass. 😉 Not bad for mindless semicomedy, I guess. And it does seem to be a sort of an addiction, watching older BBC shows on PBS late on a Sunday eve. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/5 "2006-06-19T05:05:37Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Sometimes it’s kind of funny, and I find some of the other characters pretty amusing at times in how they react to her. But sometimes I think it would be funnier to go Rambo on her ass. 😉 I stood and cheered the one time Richard stood up to her. I don’t remember the details, but he was fed up and told her to stop doing something, and she stopped. I almost felt sorry for her, she looked like a kicked puppy. Anybody remember what it was about? I’m thinking it was a phone call she insisted on making, but maybe it was something else. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/6 "2006-06-19T05:39:56Z")
Oh dear, I am a fan of almost all things British, but this show drives me batty. The same thing happens every episode - Hyancinth is putting on airs to impress the vicar/the neighbors/any human being beyond her immediate family, and goes to ridiculous lengths to preserve the veneer of respectability. Richard is henpecked, Onslow is embarrassing, and Harriet Reynolds’ character is nervous. All righty then. I actually rented a Mike Leigh flick recently, Abigail’s Party, and was surprised to see a younger Harriet Reynolds playing the same role she plays in _KUA_, only in a more true-to-life way. Brilliant play, if you like her, check it out. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/7 "2006-06-19T05:52:30Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > yeah, one of the subtle differences between US and them. In reality, of course, we’re not all that rude. 😉 I’ve seen plenty of people accomodate Hyacinth types because it’s just easier than telling them off. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/8 "2006-06-19T06:03:43Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > I stood and cheered the one time Richard stood up to her. I don’t remember the details, but he was fed up and told her to stop doing something, and she stopped. I almost felt sorry for her, she looked like a kicked puppy. Yes I vaguely remember that episode too. Has the fourth sister ever appeared on screen? We see “our Hyacinth”, “our Rose” and “our Daisy” often enough. What about “our Violet”? ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/9 "2006-06-19T07:36:41Z")
> [@Cunctator](#): > > Yes I vaguely remember that episode too. > > Has the fourth sister ever appeared on screen? We see “our Hyacinth”, “our Rose” and “our Daisy” often enough. What about “our Violet”? Yes, “our Violet” has shown up a time or two. You might remember her, she’s married to the chartered accountant, and lives in that big house with a Mercedes and room for a pony. Her husband is evidently a kinkmeister who likes to dress up in women’s clothing. Why is everyone afraid of her? Because she’s so fricking ANNOYING, but people feel an obligation to be polite in public, so she’s a genuine stress on everyone, being so oblivious to her own impositional nature. > [@AuntiPam](#): > > Ain’t she great? She’s so rude and obnoxious, but everyone tippy-toes around her so they don’t hurt her feelings. Except Onslow, of course. 😃 Oh, _nice!_ (I love Onslow, and-oddly enough for me-I think Daisy is really cute. Normally I’m a fan of Olympic gymnast physiques, but Daisy is so cuddly-looking. If I were Onslow, I wouldn’t be complaining.) ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/10 "2006-06-19T10:11:54Z")
You want to know what scares me, personally about her? I’m told somewhere we have someone just like her lurking in our family tree! :eek: Fortunately, the relative in question is related by marriage, so it may not be in my gene pool. As to why people don’t tell her to just “bugger off!”, my guess is it won’t work. She’s genuinely clueless about the effect she has on people and has no idea they hide, cringe, etc. when they see her coming. If you told her directly, she’d be hurt, but wouldn’t understand. I gather she wasn’t born into the class she inhabits; she’s just trying to act the way she thinks she’s supposed to and doesn’t have a clue that she’s getting it wrong. While I’m indulging in armchair psychology, I suspect she’s also terribly insecure and has no idea what to do about it. In her nightmares, she stops pushing, everything falls apart, and she winds up like Daisy and Onslow. To get her to change would take a rather large intervention involving several people she knows and a hefty amount of therapy. The writers could do that, but then you’d have a drama and not a bit of thoroughly enjoyable light comedy. Face it, how many other sit coms would be ruined if only people would act sensibly? ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/11 "2006-06-19T10:49:11Z")
Hello, I have asked **DMark** to use his computer to answer this question. My name is Sheridan, and I am Hyacinth’s son. I currently live in San Francisco and I can tell you mummy is as harmless as a pussycat. Dad, however, is a major prick…never sends a Bob here unless mummy puts her foot down. I mean, puuuleeeze…bloody hell, do you have any idea how expensive it is to live in The Castro and attend courses in cosmetology? And I still owe Scientology money, and Torsten needs to pay for his yoga lessons. Mummy, however, always comes though and she has exquisite taste, although I do admit her candlelit dinners have become somewhat bland… ---
**Author:** ![Sparrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Sparrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparrow)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/12 "2006-06-19T11:38:20Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Just tell her to bugger off already. > Ah, Sunday late night TV, gotta love it. Because they’re scared one day they’ll snap and murder her. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/13 "2006-06-19T12:00:04Z")
> [@Dijon Warlock](#): > > You might remember her, she’s married to the chartered accountant, Turf accountant, actually. Which is what makes the whole thing even more absurd (in the comedic way), unless bookies are considered more respectable in the UK than they are in the US. ---
**Author:** ![Bytegeist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Bytegeist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bytegeist)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/14 "2006-06-19T15:29:13Z")
> [@Sparrow](#): > > Because they’re scared one day they’ll snap and murder her. _Oooooh!_ Excellent plot for a reunion episode. Something like _Murder on the Orient Express_ — only with a laugh track. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/15 "2006-06-19T16:03:29Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Turf accountant, actually. Which is what makes the whole thing even more absurd (in the comedic way), unless bookies are considered more respectable in the UK than they are in the US. I’m an American, but I think bookmaking is legal in the UK, so it’s a relatively respectable profession. Plus it’s made Violet’s husband rich, or at least higher class than Richard and Hyacinth. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/16 "2006-06-19T16:41:54Z")
Frankly, this series grates on me. I actually pity Hyacinth, and would cringe to be stuck in any situation with her (including my living room watching her on TV). Is there a British doper here that can explain this series to me? Is it really that popular in the UK? I actually admit to liking her family and would watch a series about them with infrequent visits with Hyacinth, but beyond that, it is my least favorite import. ---
**Author:** ![Bytegeist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Bytegeist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bytegeist)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/17 "2006-06-19T17:46:35Z")
> [@ddgryphon](#): > > Is there a British doper here that can explain this series to me? Is it really that popular in the UK? I don’t know that PBS is getting the most _popular_ series from the UK. I think, in general, they’re getting the ones that are cheap to purchase. Nothing else to my mind could explain the continued broadcast of _Are You Being Served?_ Of course these days PBS is running membership drives four or six times a year, so most weekends you won’t even get something as tepidly amusing as _Keeping Up Appearances_. You’re more likely to get the Bee Gees in concert, in between half-hour sales pitches for CDs, tote bags, and coffee mugs. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/18 "2006-06-19T23:19:10Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Turf accountant, actually. Which is what makes the whole thing even more absurd (in the comedic way), unless bookies are considered more respectable in the UK than they are in the US. :smack: Correction noted. I do tend to watch this show; I should have known that. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2006, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/19 "2006-06-19T23:24:31Z")
> [@Dijon Warlock](#): > > Yes, “our Violet” has shown up a time or two. You might remember her, she’s married to the chartered accountant, and lives in that big house with a Mercedes and room for a pony. Her husband is evidently a kinkmeister who likes to dress up in women’s clothing. Yes, but has “our Violet” ever actually spoken any dialogue? Does she have a plummy accent similar to Hyacinth’s, or is she more common like Daisy and Rose? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249/20 "2006-06-20T01:13:14Z")
My theory which is mine about _KUA_ is that Onslow is the only mentally healthy character on the whole show. Richard is No. 2, except he’s so thoroughly 'whipped. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-everyone-so-afraid-of-hyacinth-bucket/361249.md?page=2)