# Why is hetero anal sex so popular? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2012, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195 "2012-10-19T03:21:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Crab\_Rangoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Crab\_Rangoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crab_Rangoon)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/101 "2012-10-20T18:23:10Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > There is only one way for everyone to understand this. Go home and get a paper towel tube… Did you HAVE to do that? Did you??? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/102 "2012-10-20T18:23:19Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > I tried it once with the smallest dicked man in the universe. Odd. I have no recollection of that. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/103 "2012-10-20T19:01:45Z")
“So I asked my wife if we could try anal sex, she pulled a huge dildo out and said ‘lemme do you first’”. _Alan Stevens_ ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/104 "2012-10-20T19:24:09Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Can a woman be a sodomite _and_ a virgin? > Also, I don’t think there is much porn for women because seriously, what the heck do you ladies look for in porn anyway? > > Guys are easy. Just give us a pretty naked girl doing naughty things and we’re happy. Doesn’t matter how contrived it is. I have never had much interest in porn but keep a few movies around in case a girl requests it. I have had many many women ask for some porn. I would guess women enjoy it just about as much as men percentage wise. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/105 "2012-10-20T19:34:39Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > \ It’s no holes barred in the bedroom for us,\ Did you do that on purpose? 🙂 > [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > \ comes as a surprise \ Heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/106 "2012-10-20T19:55:53Z")
> [@scootergirl](#): > > A storyline and indication that people know each others’ names\*\* is the last thing I want\*\*. I watch porn with no volume. I like close ups and naughtyness. That’s all. The first porn I ever watched was in the early 80s on VHS and it had some sort of ridiculous plot which actually had the total opposite effect on me. There is a happy medium. There was plenty of good porn with plots back in the late 70s and early 80s, back when New York City was the home of the porn industry. The pool of porn actors were struggling stage actors, and the directors were people who wanted to make mainstream films. Sturgeon’s Law applies double to porn, so maybe one in 200 porn films was not crap. All that went out of the window when home video came out, porn moved to the Valley and shooting moved from film to video. But most importantly, the talent was no longer aspiring stage actors, but aspiring strippers. They do porn because it increases their value as feature dancers. Every attempt to do dialog is undermined by the piss-poor acting by the women. (Some of the male actors still try, mostly because straight male porn stars can’t make money as feature dancers. Might be different in gay porn.) Big budget productions like _[Pirates](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0477457/)_ were ruined by the female leads reading their dialog off a TelePrompter. There is a happy medium though. My preferred choice in relatively current porn is what I call “friendly gonzo”, particularly the British director Lindsey Honey, who makes porn under the name _Ben Dover_ (huh-hur). The conceit of the series is that all these women write him to star in a porn with Ben and his friends - so the women determine what they want to do and how far it will go. But the part that makes it hot for me is that he talks to the women, and you learn _why_ they are doing it. And either it is real, or he has had tremendous luck in finding really amazing natural actresses. And when I have looked for some of these women in work by other directors, I see them doing terrible acting. The thing is, for me, it’s not enough to see someone having sex. It’s much hotter to have some idea of who this person is, and why they are doing it. That they have had a fantasy of doing this, or their husband has no interest in a particular act, or some other reason. I don’t wish to just see anonymous organs in equally anonymous orifices. Frankly, that’s dull. [QUOTE=Idiocracy] Pvt. Joe Bowers: [addressing Congress] \*… And there was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn’t just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again! \* [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/107 "2012-10-20T21:40:02Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > I don’t wish to just see anonymous organs in equally anonymous orifices. Frankly, that’s dull. We all have our preferences, yes. I guess I know what you are saying here, but for me, porn that involves a movie-like-plot (regardless of the talent of the actors) is not appealing. I like the fantasy aspect also, by the way. Happy porn viewing people! ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/108 "2012-10-20T22:08:06Z")
> [@scootergirl](#): > > We all have our preferences, yes. I guess I know what you are saying here, but for me, porn that involves a \*\*movie-like-plot \*\*(regardless of the talent of the actors) is not appealing. I’ve argued this point any number of times, and people always seem to get stuck, apparently based on whatever bad plot-based porn they have seen. It’s like deciding that they don’t like comedy because they have seen a couple of unfunny ones. There is nothing inherent in sexually explicit imagery combined with plot that makes for bad porn. As a thought experiment, imagine a hot R rated film scene, like the Cheerleader scene in _[A History of Violence](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399146/)_. If you’re not familiar with it, Maria Bello and Viggo Mortensen play a married couple, and in this scene, early in the film, she dresses up in her old high-school cheerleader uniform to make love to her husband: [Cheerleader scene](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2P661MoTq4) OK, now imagine that scene with penetration. No, not “imagine random porn stars trying to do that scene” but Maria Bello and Viggo Mortensen actually having sex, seeing Viggo’s penis entering Maria’s vagina. Are you saying that imagined scene would not interest you? (OK, maybe Maria and Viggo are not your thing. But think of some other Hollywood movie, made sexually explicit). My point is that plot is not bad in porn simply because there are plenty of bad plotted pornos out there. By the way, there are sexually explicit serious movies, but virtually all of them are either painfully arty, depressing, violent or all three. _[Shortbus](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367027/)_ is about the only one that I can think of that tries to have a positive outlook on sex. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/109 "2012-10-20T23:09:38Z")
If nothing else, then women generally prefer to see attractive males in porn. So much straight porn features ugly men and is totally focused on the male’s pleasure. I like to see the lady at least pretending to enjoy herself. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/110 "2012-10-22T15:48:59Z")
What I look for in porn: Women actually feeling pleasure. While it might fulfill some guy’s pathetic power/control fantasy to choke a bitch, for all but the most very fucked up, there is nothing that is a turn on about being choked. Generally, the female orgasms I’ve observed in mainstream hetero porn looked extremely faked to me. The orgasms I’ve seen in lesbian porn = smokin’ hot, because they were believable. Women fulfill women’s fantasies in lesbian porn, which is why they will do things to each other that actually feel good. I could give less than two shits about a “story” in my porn; I don’t want a story, let’s get to the fucking already. But I can tell when a man watches too much porn because I’m in some gymnastics position and he’s getting off, but I’m all “Why is this supposed to feel good again? There’s no clit friction, what’s in it for me?” You wanna turn me off? Avoid my clit because you either can’t find it or don’t know what to do with it and then spend all your funsexynekkid time doing things that do not stimulate me in the slightest. And then act all smug about it like you’re the best lay in the world. Psh. As if. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/111 "2012-10-23T17:43:03Z")
Well, this thread seems to reveal that more men than women like it. No surprise there: Buggers can’t be choosers. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2012, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/112 "2012-10-23T18:29:27Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > OK, now imagine that scene with penetration. No, not “imagine random porn stars trying to do that scene” but Maria Bello and Viggo Mortensen actually having sex, seeing Viggo’s penis entering Maria’s vagina. > > Are you saying that imagined scene would not interest you? Wouldn’t interest me. It’s quite enough for them to pretend to be whoever they’re pretending to be. To know that the actors were really have penetrative sex would distract me away from the plot. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/113 "2012-10-27T03:16:44Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > What I look for in porn: > > Women actually feeling pleasure. While it might fulfill some guy’s pathetic power/control fantasy to choke a bitch, for all but the most very fucked up, there is nothing that is a turn on about being choked. ROFL You have no idea about this. out of the 15 or so women I’ve had sex with, at least 5, and maybe more, DEFINITELY enjoyed being spanked/slapped/choked/etc. during sex. As in, they request it, orgasm much more with it, and are disappointed if their partner isn’t willing. At least 3 of those 5 exhibit no noticeable mental illnesses, major emotional problems, inability to function, drug habits, etc.. 1 of the 5 does have major problems functioning, but she just has social anxiety, ADHD, and depression. It has nothing to do with sexual abuse, or any such. The remaining 1 experiences depression, but was never sexually abused, and is able to at least hold a job and function. So no, not all women, or even most, who enjoy physical abuse during sex are drug addicts, victims of sexual abuse, etc.. I’m sure plenty of people here can corroborate my experiences. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/114 "2012-10-27T06:15:13Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Wouldn’t interest me. It’s quite enough for them to pretend to be whoever they’re pretending to be. To know that the actors were really have penetrative sex would distract me away from the plot. Sorry, but I doubt this. When most people watch a movie, they aren’t actively _thinking_ about watching actors act. If they are, the movie has failed. They are creating a character, and if the film is good, the viewer buys into it. But this is pretty far off topic from the original thread, and would make a decent Cafe Society thread on it’s own. ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/115 "2012-10-27T07:46:38Z")
I recently had anal sex for the first time, with a woman who was also unexperienced with it. Being kinda prepared for possible awkward moments, smells, sights, and a sudden stop due to pain, we were both pleasantly surprised how good it felt all the way through. Don’t know yet if it was just the novelty, but we feel like we’ve been missing out on a major source of pleasure for all this time. Tight is good, and trust and lube smooths the way. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Colossus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.colossus/32/9423_2.png) [@Dr.Colossus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Colossus)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/116 "2012-10-27T09:56:59Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > _sitting_ oh so well played. you win this round. ---
**Author:** ![Enlightening\_Meditation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecc23a/32.png) [@Enlightening\_Meditation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enlightening_Meditation)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/117 "2012-10-27T10:12:26Z")
As a straight lad, I don’t push myself through the backdoor unless the lady requests/demands it. Some women certainly enjoy this because of the physical stimulation aspects and/or because it ‘feels dirty’. The vajayjay is much better suited for pleasuring the male organ. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/118 "2012-10-27T14:31:07Z")
> [@Toxylon](#): > > trust and lube smooths the way. Killer username, right there. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2012, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/119 "2012-10-29T20:20:26Z")
Hetro male here, I’ve done it on request and loathed every second of it. Wouldn’t do it ever again, total turn off. ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195/120 "2012-10-30T00:07:28Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Sorry, but I doubt this. When most people watch a movie, they aren’t actively _thinking_ about watching actors act. If they are, the movie has failed. They are creating a character, and if the film is good, the viewer buys into it. > > But this is pretty far off topic from the original thread, and would make a decent Cafe Society thread on it’s own. I mostly agree with **PunditLisa**. There are examples of “real” fictional films with nonsimulated, graphic sex. In most of the examples I’ve seen, it’s been fairly un-hot. I don’t like watching people act like they’re enjoying sex. I don’t like knowing that actors are being paid to perform a sex act they would probably rather not. And if I really DO want some porn, I don’t really want to watch twenty minutes of exposition to get to it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-hetero-anal-sex-so-popular/638195.md?page=7)