# Why is it important to be humble? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 30, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141 "2013-04-30T20:28:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/141 "2013-05-02T19:15:47Z")
> [@Mrs.Cake](#): > > I find it helpful to hire a poet to go before me singing my praises, so I can come in afterwards looking embarrassed and protesting the superlatives heaped upon me. Problem solved! _O, Mother Nature, how didst thou make A being as perfect as Mrs. Cake?_ ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/142 "2013-05-02T19:49:08Z")
If it means anything, I haven’t associated **rhubarbarin** with bragging. Perhaps that is because I haven’t see what she looks like. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/143 "2013-05-02T21:07:32Z")
> [@Mrs.Cake](#): > > I find it helpful to hire a poet to go before me singing my praises, so I can come in afterwards looking embarrassed and protesting the superlatives heaped upon me. Problem solved! Every so often a post comes along that reminds me why I joined this board in the first place. Thanks for the genuine laugh Mrs. Cake, I needed that! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/144 "2013-05-02T23:40:03Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > It seems to be clear - I just don’t understand why mentioning positive self-perceptions is so annoying to people. I don’t know why it is. It just is. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/145 "2013-05-02T23:51:04Z")
I’ve thought about why we as a species might have evolved to dislike bragging. Upon hearing self-flattery, my immediate impulse is to search for reasons why all this horn tooting is justified. Once in that critical mode, it is easy to find someone lacking. Braggarts attract detractors because they trigger within us our inner skeptic. For the same reason we distrust car salesmen and timeshare hawkers, we distrust anyone who is trying too hard to sell us something. Because experience has told us that when people do this, it usually means we’re about to get a crappy deal. Those without this visceral reaction are probably more gullible in other areas of their lives too, and possibly more likely to get killed. Thus, anti-braggarts are more fit evolutionarily speaking, which brings us here today. Humility and self-deprecation are socially desirable for the same reason we’re more likely to consider a long black dress elegant than one that is a mass of ostentatious colors, covered in designer labels. We trust what our own senses perceive as true more than the stuff we’re told is true. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt” applies to everyone, but those who have the tendency to talk themselves up don’t seem to realize this. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/146 "2013-05-03T00:07:55Z")
The way I see it, you’ve either earned the right to brag or you haven’t. If you have, it’s pretty annoying to rub in everyone’s face how rich, good looking, brilliant, or otherwise perfect you are. If you’re truly that great, other people have noticed. Trust me. Lacking humility about your accomplishments just makes you seem like a giant child who is both a jerk and desperately in need of approval. And if you haven’t earned the right to brag --which is startlingly near 100% of braggarts-- you just look like a totally clueless douchebag. Like the Turnip says, when someone with an inflated sense of worth lacks humility, it’s just cringe-worthy and painful to witness. So in general, humility makes you seem like less of a jerk, more grounded, and like you have a little bit of perspective about the universe (which, if you’re an adult, you should). You don’t wanna be the guy who passes a drowning man in a speedboat bragging about how dry he is. Most braggarts, even worse, are the guy who passes a yacht in his speedboat bragging about how awesome his boat is. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/147 "2013-05-03T03:42:13Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Well, there is that - **rhubarbarin** , you _did_ start this thread - as I have pointed out many times within it, you started it to ask about humility, but it is really about how your posts are perceived. > > What do you think? Can you see where your posts in weight/appearance threads might appear to not just be tone-deaf, but perhaps a bit more? > > I have to admit, when I got in this thread to see what it said about humility, then saw it was you and discussing a shot someone took at you about posting in a weight thread, I, too, thought “ah, our gal **rhubarbarin** is tone-deaf posting again” - it _does_ happen. That is why I first asked what this thread is really about in post #22. > > What do you think? I thought about this all a lot today, and my ultimate conclusion is that the reason these remarks are a pattern for me is that that my inner troll is showing. I know certain things I say piss certain people here off (because they call me on it at the time or make snarky mentions of it other times), repeatedly, but I continue posting in the same vein when the spirit takes me because I can justify it with ‘heh heh [roll voice], they’re annoyed again, how dumb to be annoyed by something like this’. But it isn’t dumb. It (by which I mean comments which are, or can easily be interpreted as, bragging) may not be something I notice so much personaly, but that doesn’t mean being annoyed by it isn’t justified. And on another level, it can be an outright thread shit, or provoke negative emotions beyond irritation, neither of which is something I want to be doing. I’m certainly going to be much more aware of it from now on, as if nothing else, it makes me a less interesting contributor to this board. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/148 "2013-05-03T03:49:06Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > And let me say, as someone who has commented on more than one occasion on **rhubarbarian** ’s gratuitous self-indulgent posts, I’ve never been offended or pissed off by what she’s had to say. Not in the least. Just mildly annoyed. I mean, when I hear (or see) the name of the OP, the only things I think of are that she doesn’t eat carbs and she thinks she’s quite the looker. That’s it. She seems to feel the need to insert these factoids into discussions that hold no (or very little) relevancy to her remarks. That’s not to say she’s never said them in appropriate threads, I’m very sure she has, just that she says it everywhere else too. Fair enough Jamie, as my main associations with you are a]obsessed with handicapped parking spots, b]like to post pics of yourself oiled up at body building competitions, and c]on at least one occasion you posted a thread with pictures of your face in it and asked to SDMB to rate you as Hot or Not. Every time you respond with irritation to one of my shallow posts, I think of that thread and LOL. I think we are at least equal in cringeworthy status on here. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/149 "2013-05-03T04:03:22Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > I think we are at least equal in cringeworthy status on here. LOL. Fine by me. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/150 "2013-05-03T04:22:25Z")
C’mon, you two, get a room already! ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/151 "2013-05-03T04:25:26Z")
He’s not that cute. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/152 "2013-05-03T04:46:38Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > He’s not that cute. ☹ It’s the _wheelchair_ isn’t it!!! I knew it!! Just say it! ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/153 "2013-05-03T04:51:19Z")
And now the thread becomes a one-trick-pony-off. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/154 "2013-05-03T04:53:29Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > And now the thread becomes a one-trick-pony-off. 😕 It was just a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/155 "2013-05-03T06:31:35Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > This is absolutely true. > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11813881&postcount=46](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11813881&postcount=46) > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13097612&postcount=10](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13097612&postcount=10) > > I have to wonder why you started this thread; everyone knows that this is your thing and you know this is your thing. Pretending not to know what everyone is talking about is (or should be) embarrassing. I could seriously post links just like the above two all day long until the hamsters cry, “Okay, we get it, she thinks she’s hot!” > [@SenorBeef](#): > > Wait, how is my post inappropriate in any way? The whole point of this thread is her saying “I don’t get why people say I’m bragging when I keep mentioning how beautiful I am” and I’m very much answering it. I’m not the only one, several other posters seem to share my reaction. BOTH of you need to cut it out because it’s getting out of line for this forum. If you have a problem with another poster, you know where to take it by now. **SenorBeef** , you have made your opinion in this thread clear enough now, let’s back off turning this into a debate against the OP. **Erdosain,** cut out with dragging past topics into this one. If you want to call the OP out on past postings, the Pit is the place to do it. This is both your first and last notes about this in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/156 "2013-05-03T10:31:51Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > 😕 > > It was just a joke. I thought that was rather clear. I found it funny and a way to reduce some of the tension. I forgot, the Internet is serious business. Plus if rhubarbarin is to be believed, you have at least three tricks. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/157 "2013-05-03T10:44:36Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > BOTH of you need to cut it out because it’s getting out of line for this forum. > > If you have a problem with another poster, you know where to take it by now. > > **SenorBeef** , you have made your opinion in this thread clear enough now, let’s back off turning this into a debate against the OP. > > **Erdosain,** cut out with dragging past topics into this one. If you want to call the OP out on past postings, the Pit is the place to do it. > > This is both your first and last notes about this in this thread. As hilarious as it is that you’re warning people for actually citing posts where she engages in the exact behavior she made this thread to talk about, is there a reason you totally ignore her admission of trolling the board when it is expressly against the rules? She readily admits it in post #147: > [@rhubarbarin](#): > > I thought about this all a lot today, and my ultimate conclusion is that the reason these remarks are a pattern for me is that that my inner troll is showing. I know certain things I say piss certain people here off (because they call me on it at the time or make snarky mentions of it other times), repeatedly, but I continue posting in the same vein when the spirit takes me because I can justify it with ‘heh heh [roll voice], they’re annoyed again, how dumb to be annoyed by something like this’. So bonus point for pretending all along in this thread that she has no idea why anyone would possibly see her posts the way they do. She even said in the OP that she was bewildered by it all. Too bad \*\*WordMan \*\*is such a nice guy he wasted his time by treating her as if she were posting honestly. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/158 "2013-05-03T11:15:26Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > I thought about this all a lot today, and my ultimate conclusion is that the reason these remarks are a pattern for me is that that my inner troll is showing. I know certain things I say piss certain people here off (because they call me on it at the time or make snarky mentions of it other times), repeatedly, but I continue posting in the same vein when the spirit takes me because I can justify it with ‘heh heh [roll voice], they’re annoyed again, how dumb to be annoyed by something like this’. > > But it isn’t dumb. It (by which I mean comments which are, or can easily be interpreted as, bragging) may not be something I notice so much personaly, but that doesn’t mean being annoyed by it isn’t justified. > > And on another level, it can be an outright thread shit, or provoke negative emotions beyond irritation, neither of which is something I want to be doing. > > I’m certainly going to be much more aware of it from now on, as if nothing else, it makes me a less interesting contributor to this board. This all seems good. Cool. [QUOTE=Sleeps with Butterflies] So bonus point for pretending all along in this thread that she has no idea why anyone would possibly see her posts the way they do. She even said in the OP that she was bewildered by it all. Too bad WordMan is such a nice guy he wasted his time by treating her as if she were posting honestly. [/QUOTE] Thanks for the compliment - I think ;). If I am just being a sucker, well, yuck. I thought there was a sufficient attempt at an actual discussion that I ended up participating - more than I would’ve anticipated. And where **rhubarbarin** and this topic has ended up seems good. Let’s see how it goes, shall we? ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/159 "2013-05-03T12:02:09Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > This all seems good. Cool. > > Thanks for the compliment - I think ;). If I am just being a sucker, well, yuck. I thought there was a sufficient attempt at an actual discussion that I ended up participating - more than I would’ve anticipated. And where **rhubarbarin** and this topic has ended up seems good. Let’s see how it goes, shall we? Eh, you’ll survive a bit of troll fur being rubbed off on you, I think. I also took her at face value. And at least you did pull an admission of trolling out of her, so that may be of some value to those who were truly bothered by her posts. Good thread, I say. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2013, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141/160 "2013-05-03T12:09:29Z")
I have just read this entire thread with my mod tiara on (so will refrain from posting my take on the discussion itself or **rhubarbarin** ’s attractiveness). But the question has been raised as to why this has not been moderated: > [@rhubarbarin](#): > > I thought about this all a lot today, and my ultimate conclusion is that the reason these remarks are a pattern for me is that that my inner troll is showing. I know certain things I say piss certain people here off (because they call me on it at the time or make snarky mentions of it other times), repeatedly, but I continue posting in the same vein when the spirit takes me because I can justify it with ‘heh heh [roll voice], they’re annoyed again, how dumb to be annoyed by something like this’. I’m reading that as her not having been entirely conscious of her troll tendencies, whereas now she’s more aware of that as a pattern of behavior. Thus I’m not taking it as an admission of trolling. That said, **rhubarbarin** , I encourage you, now that you’re aware of your inner troll, to control that impulse. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-important-to-be-humble/657141.md?page=9)