# Why is it so damned hard to make a good frozen pizza? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 23, 2006, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869 "2006-04-23T17:30:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/41 "2006-04-24T17:47:13Z")
A good alternative to frozen pizza (most of which kinda suck): There’s a chain in the US (and possibly elsewhere–don’t really know) called “Papa Murphy’s”. It’s a “take-and-bake” operation–they put the pizza together in the store, then you take it home and bake it. It’s better than any frozen pizza and better than a lot of pizza chains. Regarding the previous post about Pizza Hut’s “oily” pan pizza–where I (and **Ukulele Ike** ) come from, good pizza is supposed to be somewhat oily. Pizza Hut may not be the best, but as far as chains go, it’s better than most. BTW, IMHO, “California Pizza” is an oxymoron! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/42 "2006-04-24T17:51:22Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Our Florida supermarkets are finally carrying frozen Pizzeria Uno’s pizzas, which are quite good. However, we in Orlando are lucky to have two actual Uno’s locations, for actual fresh Chicago pizza any time we want (a rarity in FL, where New York style rules). I’ve had Lou Malnati’s in Chicago, which I think is superior deep-dish, but Uno’s is still awesome (and so much better than any of the big chains). [hijack] Lou Malnati’s is very good. If you’re ever in the area again, do check out Pequod’s Pizza on Clybourn. It’s not exactly obscure, but it often gets overshadowed by the name recognition of places like Malnati’s, Uno, Due, and Giordano’s. Pequod’s is a little bit of a modern take on the classic deep-dish. Their signature is their caramelized (frankly, it looks burnt, but it’s not) crust. [Pictures here.](http://www.lthforum.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=6902&highlight=pequod) [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/43 "2006-04-24T17:58:01Z")
I don’t know how anyone can like a frozen pizza better than Domino’s. Give me a hand-tossed with pepperini and mushroom over any of the frozen ones. The only frozen pizza I can stand is the Stoffer’s French Bread ones, they’re not too bad. I remember trying the DiGiorno and they were ok, but for ~$5.99 might as well pay $8 or $9 and get a REAL pizza. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/44 "2006-04-24T18:05:16Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > I don’t know how anyone can like a frozen pizza better than Domino’s. Give me a hand-tossed with pepperini and mushroom over any of the frozen ones. > > The only frozen pizza I can stand is the Stoffer’s French Bread ones, they’re not too bad. > > I remember trying the DiGiorno and they were ok, but for ~$5.99 might as well pay $8 or $9 and get a REAL pizza. Only if you consider Dominoes to be “REAL” pizza (not in my house, buddy!) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/45 "2006-04-24T18:05:43Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > I don’t know how anyone can like a frozen pizza better than **Domino’s** …get a **REAL pizza**. Oxymoron. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/46 "2006-04-24T18:18:14Z")
> [@ISiddiqui](#): > > Only if you consider Dominoes to be “REAL” pizza (not in my house, buddy!) 😃 Ok, you’re right there. But Dominos is a lot more “real” than the frozen cardboard pizza. You can stand there and watch them toss the dough and put on the sauce, cheese, and toppings. Real enough! ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/47 "2006-04-24T18:27:20Z")
To be frank, I consider Digeorno’s to be more ‘real’ than Dominos :D. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/48 "2006-04-24T18:33:27Z")
> [@ISiddiqui](#): > > To be frank, I consider Digeorno’s to be more ‘real’ than Dominos :D. How so, with it’s preservative-laced crust? ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/49 "2006-04-24T18:46:25Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > How so, with it’s preservative-laced crust? It tastes better than the dreck called Domino’s :D. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/50 "2006-04-24T19:02:00Z")
> [@](#): > > But I don’t buy the microwaveable DiGiorno’s, only the kind that goes in the oven: frozen pizza might be a second-class citizen, but microwaved pizza is an abomination! I was going to say the same thing. I don’t _think_ anyone in this thread is making this mistake, but just in case, let it be known that it is absolutely impossible to get good pizza out of the microwave. There is, perhaps, something to be said for leftover pizza for breakfast after an all-nighter or killer party (which is in fact the proper niche for the over-greasy cheap American chains), but even then, it’s probably better to eat it cold than to nuke it. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/51 "2006-04-24T19:08:03Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > There is, perhaps, something to be said for leftover pizza for breakfast after an all-nighter or killer party (which is in fact the proper niche for the over-greasy cheap American chains), but even then, it’s probably better to eat it cold than to nuke it. Cold pizza is food fit for the gods. Nuking cold pizza is a delicate art with less than stellar results. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/52 "2006-04-24T19:15:46Z")
OK, here’s one of those poster cliches, where I come in with a tangentially related comment. I haven’t noticed frozen pizzas being discussed before. I thought I would just share this tidbit: I lost all desire to ever eat any frozen pizza after reading in Consumer’s Digest about the _allowable percentage of_ **bug parts** in all frozen pizzas. Just think about that for a minute. There is a certain amount of dead bug legs, antennae, feces, exoskeletons, eyeballs, spleens, you name it, that it is OK to have on a pizza and still sell it to people to eat unawares. Happy lunch hour, wherever you are. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/53 "2006-04-24T19:19:35Z")
> [@fishbicycle](#): > > OK, here’s one of those poster cliches, where I come in with a tangentially related comment. I haven’t noticed frozen pizzas being discussed before. I thought I would just share this tidbit: I lost all desire to ever eat any frozen pizza after reading in Consumer’s Digest about the _allowable percentage of_ **bug parts** in all frozen pizzas. > > Just think about that for a minute. There is a certain amount of dead bug legs, antennae, feces, exoskeletons, eyeballs, spleens, you name it, that it is OK to have on a pizza and still sell it to people to eat unawares. > > Happy lunch hour, wherever you are. And stuff like mouse droppings and mouse fur. That’s not just frozen pizzas, that’s standard food storage rules. Which includes about everything packackaged you’ll ever eat, and the stuff that restaurants use to prepare their food. Best not to think too much about it. We’re omnivores. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/54 "2006-04-24T19:32:00Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > And stuff like mouse droppings and mouse fur. That’s not just frozen pizzas, that’s standard food storage rules. Which includes about everything packackaged you’ll ever eat, and the stuff that restaurants use to prepare their food. Not to mention the stuff we eat while we’re sleeping. Mmmm … protein. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/55 "2006-04-24T19:54:00Z")
> [@fishbicycle](#): > > OK, here’s one of those poster cliches, where I come in with a tangentially related comment. I haven’t noticed frozen pizzas being discussed before. I thought I would just share this tidbit: I lost all desire to ever eat any frozen pizza after reading in Consumer’s Digest about the _allowable percentage of_ **bug parts** in all frozen pizzas. > > Just think about that for a minute. There is a certain amount of dead bug legs, antennae, feces, exoskeletons, eyeballs, spleens, you name it, that it is OK to have on a pizza and still sell it to people to eat unawares. > > Happy lunch hour, wherever you are. Then I hope you have also avoided ketchup, mustard, canned veggies, canned soups, all other frozen entrees because they have bug parts in them too. I just think of all the added protein as a free bonus. 😉 My partner and I will only buy Red Baron 4 cheese pizza (that is when we are not ordering out) it’s a thinner crust, we pre-heat a cookie sheet in the oven, top the pie with onion, fresh garlic, Italian spices, mozzarella, a little cheddar, sundried tomatoes and cook it a few minutes longer than suggested on the box so the crust is nice and crispy. Yum. Foodgasm. ---
**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/56 "2006-04-24T20:12:33Z")
Microwave resuscitation of cold pizza is heresy. Ovens and toaster ovens are the proper method. And a frozen pizza is just the beginnings of a pizza. It goes without saying that at a bare minimum, cheese must be added. I found the basic Whole Foods cheese pizzas to be surprisingly good platforms for frozen pizza making. The latest thing where I live is coal-fired pizza, which is outrageously good (Anthony’s…!). I’d love to find a Chicago deep dish place in South Florida though. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/57 "2006-04-24T20:13:27Z")
> [@fishbicycle](#): > > OK, here’s one of those poster cliches, where I come in with a tangentially related comment. I haven’t noticed frozen pizzas being discussed before. I thought I would just share this tidbit: I lost all desire to ever eat any frozen pizza after reading in Consumer’s Digest about the _allowable percentage of_ **bug parts** in all frozen pizzas. > > Just think about that for a minute. There is a certain amount of dead bug legs, antennae, feces, exoskeletons, eyeballs, spleens, you name it, that it is OK to have on a pizza and still sell it to people to eat unawares. > > Happy lunch hour, wherever you are. As said above, I hope you don’t think this is a phenomenon only related to frozen pizzas ;). The FDA has a minimum allowable bug parts for all foods. I mean it is quite literally impossible to prepare anything without some bug parts in it. Basically, those same rules apply to FRESH pizzas as well, and if you don’t think there are bug parts in your crust, sauce, cheese, and toppings then you are deluding yourself. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/58 "2006-04-24T20:27:57Z")
> [@Grossbottom](#): > > Microwave resuscitation of cold pizza is heresy. Ovens and toaster ovens are the proper method. And a frozen pizza is just the beginnings of a pizza. It goes without saying that at a bare minimum, cheese must be added. I found the basic Whole Foods cheese pizzas to be surprisingly good platforms for frozen pizza making. > > The latest thing where I live is coal-fired pizza, which is outrageously good (Anthony’s…!). I’d love to find a Chicago deep dish place in South Florida though. I go on the South Beach Diet and someone mentions coal fired pizza? The universe is laughing at me. Must…fight…urge…to eat…best pizza…ever. Auuuuuuuuuuughhhhhh! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/59 "2006-04-24T20:59:33Z")
**fishbicycle** , the only alternative would be to allow food manufacturers to include as much bug parts as they wanted. Is that really what you’d prefer? And yes, I do mean that that’s the _only_ alternative. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/60 "2006-04-24T21:19:52Z")
> [@Grossbottom](#): > > Microwave resuscitation of cold pizza is heresy. Ovens and toaster ovens are the proper method. Quite correct. A toaster oven is a key piece of pizza restoration if you’re not into firing up the real oven all the time. However, I’ve noticed that lower heat is the key in reheating, whereas higher heat is key for the first time around. Cold is good too though… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869.md?page=4)