# Why is it so damned hard to make a good frozen pizza? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 23, 2006, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869 "2006-04-23T17:30:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/61 "2006-04-24T21:26:52Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > At any rate, I think Chicago-style pizzas are a category of their own, and should be considered separate from what most people call pizza. DiGiorno’s deep-dish is my choice when it comes to frozen pizza. Is Giordano’s the yummy place in Hyde Park?? drool… ---
**Author:** ![Lazlo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lazlo/32/9678_2.png) [@Lazlo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazlo)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/62 "2006-04-24T22:02:56Z")
Y’all couldn’t let **fishbicycle** be, could you. I hope he’s not huddled in some corner afraid to eat anything. It’s okay, you can come out now. They were… ummm… joking with you. That’s right. They were joking! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/63 "2006-04-24T22:08:33Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > DiGiorno’s deep-dish is my choice when it comes to frozen pizza. > > Is Giordano’s the yummy place in Hyde Park?? drool… Giordano’s is a local chain–there must be at least a dozen or two of them around the Chicagoland area. For all I know, they may very well be national. But they do make a decent stuffed pizza there. ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/64 "2006-04-25T03:41:03Z")
I’ve found DiGiorno and Essensia to be delicious. Not as good as fresh pizza, but hey, getting a fresh pizza delivered costs 3 times as much. Why all the hate for Pizza Hut and Papa John’s? I get it, you live in The City and you’re proud of your corner pizza parlor, and maybe old man Vito really can make a better pizza than a nationwide chain, but come on… they’re **good** , they’re consistent, and they’re in every town in America. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/65 "2006-04-25T04:10:06Z")
This thread prompted me to get an Essencia pizza tonight, square thin-crust with chicken, barbecue sauce, carmelized onions, and a blend of mozzarella and gouda cheeses. Not bad for only $5, but it never comes out of the oven quite as crispy as I would like. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/66 "2006-04-25T04:13:33Z")
> [@Mr2001](#): > > Why all the hate for Pizza Hut and Papa John’s? I get it, you live in The City and you’re proud of your corner pizza parlor, and maybe old man Vito really can make a better pizza than a nationwide chain, but come on… they’re **good** , they’re consistent, and they’re in every town in America. Eh, maybe I’ll agree with you on Papa John’s being decent (passable?), but never Pizza Hut! Ugh… but maybe that’s because I’m from Jersey and we got higher standards for our pizza ;). You better believe the first thing I go for when I go visit my parents in Jersey is a slice of real Jersey pizza. Mmmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/67 "2006-04-25T08:54:17Z")
I love frozen pizza. I’d eat it morning, noon, and night if I thought my health could stand it. The worst frozen pizza I’ve ever had was still mighty darn good - it was a Jack’s pizza, by Kraft, and it tasted like leftover mac&cheese powder might have been an ingredient. Totino’s pepperoni pizza rolls - Nirvana in a bag. Totino’s party pizzas - a delicious meal for 99 cents. Tony’s cheese, Red Baron 4 cheese, with extra cheese, and more cheese on top… :drool: Man, I’m hungry. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/68 "2006-04-25T13:20:23Z")
> [@Mr2001](#): > > Why all the hate for Pizza Hut and Papa John’s? I get it, you live in The City and you’re proud of your corner pizza parlor, and maybe old man Vito really can make a better pizza than a nationwide chain, but come on… they’re **good** , they’re consistent, and they’re in every town in America. It’s not that I’m proud of my particular corner pizza parlor, because there is a lot of Ma & Pa crap pizza around here, too. I simply do not think Pizza Hut or Papa John’s make what I consider a good pizza. They are not good by my standards at all. Crust isn’t thin & crispy enough, toppings are subpar, the whole thing is drowning in cheese and sauce… I simply do not think it’s good–and I’m not trying to be snobby or particularly proud of local parlos. I will only say Pizza Hut and Papa John’s are passable at best, and don’t even get me started on the soggy flavorless cardboard that is Domino’s. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/69 "2006-04-25T15:02:48Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Giordano’s is a local chain–there must be at least a dozen or two of them around the Chicagoland area. For all I know, they may very well be national. But they do make a decent stuffed pizza there. They are mainly a [Chicago chain, but have locations in Florida.](http://www.giordanos.com/locations.php) They are also expanding down there. You can also order their pizzas by mail. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/70 "2006-04-25T16:05:30Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > This thread prompted me to get an Essencia pizza tonight This thread prompted me to buy 1 box of Stouffer’s French bread pizza and 2 small DiGiorno pizzas at the grocery store last night. 😃 (Somewhat Unrelated Aside: While browsing the Stouffer’s, I noticed that their new Bistro line now includes panini sandwiches. I bought a couple, and tried the [Southwest-style Chicken Panini](http://www.stouffers.com/products/ProductDetails.aspx?ProductID=10623) for dinner … YUM! It came out of the microwave perfectly toasted, too. I’m looking forward to trying the [Philly-Style Steak and Cheese Panini](http://www.stouffers.com/products/ProductDetails.aspx?ProductID=10624) after class tonight. :)) > [@Marlitharn](#): > > Totino’s pepperoni pizza rolls - Nirvana in a bag. Oooh, I love pizza rolls! I hardly ever buy them, because they’re so bad for me, but when I do I get the plain cheese ones. Mmmm. ---
**Author:** ![bluetrust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@bluetrust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluetrust)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/71 "2006-04-25T20:28:52Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Cook them up in a very, very hot oven. My problem with most frozen pizzas are the instructions ask for a fairly cool oven (I like mine at 225-250 C (approx 450-500F). The cool oven makes the crust all soggy and soft. Yuck. I’m in market research, and a few years back, I worked on an unusual study testing cooking instructions for a “casserole bake.” We sent boxes of casserole ingredients to hundreds of people, had them try to cook it using different heating strategies in their home ovens, and had them fill out a home use diary then mail it back to us. From the results, the client chose the instructions that emphasized reliability over taste, texture and “mouth feel.” See, most people choose not to preheat, use an oven thermometer, or timer so results are all over the place. 450-500F sounds like it would make better pizza; however, like the casserole bakes, the cooking instructions were likely the ones that worked best for morons. ---
**Author:** ![bytheway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df705f/32.png) [@bytheway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bytheway)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2006, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869/72 "2006-04-26T01:24:12Z")
According to [this article in American Heritage magazine](http://www.americanheritage.com/articles/magazine/it/2005/3/2005_3_12.shtml) the problems are the formation of ice crystals and the interruption of biological and chemical processes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-damned-hard-to-make-a-good-frozen-pizza/353869.md?page=3)