To my ear, there’s a big difference between a Kiwi and an English accent.
He almost certainly was; quite possibly third generation Scots, but when you hear a strong and recognisable accent (his was Highland Scottish rather than Glaswegian, which would have a different stereotype), your brain makes assumptions. I suppose I expected to see a stereotypical Highland Scot - a pale-looking guy with ginger hair and a kilt.
I am sure we all do it: A Noo Yawk (Brooklyn) accent conjures up Woody Allen; a Texan is always John Wayne; East-enders are Tommy Steele.
Keep in mind that I hadn’t met her before she moved away, “very well spoken Kiwi” might be a better way of putting it. Presumably she subconsciously accentuated the “cute” bits of her original accent which made it sound more English than Kiwi to my Kiwi ears.
One of first things you do as a child is learn phonemes (basic sounds of language). You learn phonemes from your parents. When you come to constructing words from those phonemes, you’re using those same building blocks.
The set of phonemes you have learned becomes the basis for pronouncing everything going forward. Many people find it hard to use a completely different set. It’s like, if you’re used to building a house out of lego, but then suddenly get handed a lump clay, you might struggle unless you’re willing to learn how to use clay. When you learn a new language (in this analogy, building something other than a house, say a car) it will probably be easier for you to build it out of lego, even if the new language users tend to use clay. Silly analogy, but hope it makes sense 
It’s not impossible though - some people are more adept at playing with language than others. I think the main reason foreigners have an easier time with English is largely due to growing up bilingual/the vast majority of entertainment media being produced in the English language. So many teenagers in Europe learn English by watching TV. They often end up with an American accent when speaking English as a result.
Ayn Rand, whom I knew, had a very thick Russian accent. At times one had to strain to decipher what she was saying. The first time she ever heard her own recorded voice, she exclaimed “I have an accent! Why didn’t anyone tell me I have an accent?” It’s amazing that such an intelligent woman couldn’t hear her own accent live, but she did hear it in a recording.
Same reason you are surprised to hear your own voice recording…
Except John Wayne was an Iowan who moved to Southern California as a child.
I have a co-worker who emigrated with her family from Germany when she was a teenager. She has a strong Southern accent and nothing I can hear of a German accent.
Or disgusted.
Seriously, it’s a really rude awakening.
Do most people hear their own voices differently from a recording? Mine sounds like me to me.
Based on everything I’ve observed, experienced, and read, you are indeed unusual in this regard.
I know people from Germany, Russia and Colombia. They all have a normal American accent. The Russian only started speaking English at age 18.
Something to do with our inner ear - what we hear of our own voices is distorted compared to what others hear. I’m always amazed how high pitched I sound.
I am sonerous, erudite, commanding and self assured.
For some reason in recordings of some guy purpoted to be me, it comes out as muffled, dim witted, meek and confused.
I had a friend with a VCR with dubbing capability waaay back when and a bunch of us were playing around with it then hit play to hear ourselves. Everyone sounded just like themselves, including me, to me*. They all recognized each other, except me. I don’t remember what they thought I sounded like but they all agreed that was not anything like my voice. They all sat up and tried to figure out why I sounded so not like me. Later they played it to other friends, who recognized everyone but me. Until everyone else swore it was me they thought it was some random other person.
*My voice was, as I always suspected, high pitched and nasally. Just ugly. Which is maybe why I think it sounds just like me? Because I expected my voice to sound like that?
Not many other people commented on this, but I think there is a large element here.
People get better at things if:
a. They have others pointing out their flaws, and
b. They really want to get better.
For example, an athlete (with a race soon) and a coach will produce a faster runner than a random person running for fun.
For kids, they have people that will make fun of them if they sound funny, and they really want to fit in.
By the time most people are adults, as along as they can speak fluently, they are not “teased” about their accent. They also tend to have many responsibilities and less time to work out the small items in their accents. By and large, their life is working and people understand them, so they worry about other things.
I am not saying that every adult could be accent-free, but most adults could develop less of an accent if they had a coach and really wanted it.
There is no such thing as ‘accent free’.
What does it sound like to have no accent in the English language?
From a broader perspective yes, there is no thing as no accent. I thought it was clear what I meant was to be free from a discernible foreign accent compared to the local population.
The OP is talking about the “accent” one has when learning to speak a new language, so to “lose your accent” here means to sound like a native speaker. Some of the posters are introducing a different topic–namely, adopting a different regional accent of one’s own language–which is muddling the conversation.
There is a great scene in Die Hard 3 where Bruce Willis is getting into an elevator with a security guard who says, “It’s raining dogs and cats out there!” and then says he takes the “lift” instead of “elevator.” Then Willis starts to kick ass.
I wonder about the veracity of the compliments if you are pronouncing *magnifique *as manny-feek.
Your hear your own voice partly through bone conduction directly to your inner ear, which does not transmit frequencies in the same way that other people (and recording devices) hear you, which is through the air. Strangely, most people don’t like hearing their own voice, but nobody else thinks there is anything wrong with it.
I listen to a lot of audiobooks read by Brits, and I cringe whenever an American character shows up. They do indeed sound like John Wayne, with the R’s and everything non-british exaggerated. One time I was pained by one classic reader (Jonathan Cecil? Simon Prebble?) and his Texan drawl, and realized the character was from Boston! (where, like Fraiser, they can sound more like the Queen’s English than the Queen)
But the flip side of audiobooks is that most give you a delightful array of accents. Like hearing Alan Cummings read his autobiography.
I am so making the how-you-say joke, no?
Mercy buck-oops!