# why is it so much harder for women to orgasm than men? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 11, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697 "2007-04-11T20:52:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Solairith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Solairith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Solairith)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/1 "2007-04-11T20:52:59Z")
i have read that the female orgasm is physiologically the same as the male. what i wonder is why women can’t just rub one out or peak during sex as easily and as often as men do. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/2 "2007-04-11T20:56:50Z")
If you perform activities that directly stimulate the clitoris then I find it does NOT take longer for women to have an orgasm. It’s just that intercourse usually isn’t one of those activitites. ---
**Author:** ![Solairith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Solairith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Solairith)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/3 "2007-04-11T21:00:19Z")
any women who have tried that direct stimulation and failed care to weigh in? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/4 "2007-04-11T21:10:26Z")
My own experience indicates that foreplay must involve a lady’s mind, and when she’s turned on between her ears, paying attention to her subtle indicators, along with digital/oral ministrations will prove satisfactory in short order. It’s not really accurate to say that women have a more difficult time, it’s just that many men are obtuse to the gestalt of female arousal. ---
**Author:** ![Operation\_Ripper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/34f0e0/32.png) [@Operation\_Ripper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Operation_Ripper)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/5 "2007-04-11T21:15:52Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] It’s not really accurate to say that women have a more difficult time, it’s just that many men are obtuse to the gestalt of female arousal. [/QUOTE] Meh, is that just a fancy way of saying many women are frigid? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/6 "2007-04-11T21:17:40Z")
Who cares? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/7 "2007-04-11T21:21:51Z")
Sorry bud, but you ‘aint doin’ it right. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/8 "2007-04-11T21:23:09Z")
[QUOTE=Operation Ripper] Meh, is that just a fancy way of saying many women are frigid? [/QUOTE] Very much the opposite, in fact. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/9 "2007-04-11T21:25:46Z")
Well, in my anecdotal experience its no more difficult for my female partners than it is for me to have an orgasm…and MUCH easier for them to have 2 or even 3 as opposed to my one! 😛 Does anyone have any kind of cite showing that in fact it IS harder for females than males? -XT ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/10 "2007-04-11T21:33:45Z")
Technical answer is that the point of sex from an evolutionary standpoint is to procreate, and pregnancy is far more dependent on the male orgasming then the woman. If woman needed to have an orgasm to become impregnated, I imgaine that they would’ve evolved to be able to make it happen without being dependent on so many psychological factors, like their male counterparts. A more interesting question is why females can orgasm at all since it doesn’t directly help them pass on thier genes (I think Cecil has a column on this, but I can’t find it now). One theory is that it helps with social bonding between mates. If thats the case, it makes sense to have a womans orgasm be dependent on a bunch of psychological factors, since the point of the orgasm for them is to help connect them to their mate, rather then simply to release semen and make it feel good so they’ll keep engaging in sex. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2007, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/11 "2007-04-11T21:40:34Z")
You might be thinking of [this](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_224.html) article from Cecil: > [@](#): > > I’ve got some good news and some bad news, Sean. But first one ground rule: we’re going to confine this discussion to the physiological experience of orgasm. The more subjective aspects of sex, important though they may be, are too difficult for us scientists to quantify. Now for the good news: your basic run-of-the-mill male and female orgasms are pretty similar. Kinsey (1953) in particular took pains to emphasize that “the anatomic structures which are most essential to sexual response and orgasm are nearly identical in the human female and male,” and that “orgasm in the female matches orgasm of the male in every physiologic detail except for the fact that it occurs without ejaculation.” I would venture to say this jibes with most folks’ everyday experience. > > OK, now the bad news (for men, I mean). Masters and Johnson (1966), while conceding that male and female orgasm were usually pretty comparable, noted two important differences. The first is well known: women can have multiple orgasms without having to rest in between, as men do. This occurs in 10 to 15 percent of women regardless of age. Young men can have multiple orgasms within ten minutes or so, but this ability drops off sharply after age 30. > > The second difference has been less publicized: women are capable of sustained orgasm, called status orgasmus. These orgasms may start with a 2-to-4-second “spastic contraction” and last 20 to 60 seconds all told–and if that isn’t nine times the pleasure, it’s definitely in the ballpark. Masters and Johnson published the chart for one woman who experienced a 43-second orgasm in which one can count at least 22 successive contractions. > > Depressed? Hey, it gets worse. Status orgasmus is usually the result of self-stimulation, but a woman can also experience it at the hands (or whatever) of a suitably skilled lover. Which means that not only can’t you have the ultimate O, if she doesn’t have one, it’s your damn fault. You want to give up and join the monastery, Cecil will understand. -XT ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/12 "2007-04-12T03:57:07Z")
**Desmond Morris** contends in one of his books (probably **The Naked Ape** ) that, evolutionarily speaking, the female orgasm is long and protracted as a way of insuring that the female remain prone and motionless to better insure conception. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/13 "2007-04-12T04:05:36Z")
True…but I don’t think anyone (even Morris himself 😛 ) takes that too seriously. 😉 -XT ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/14 "2007-04-12T04:21:27Z")
hmmm gf gets of 6 times and I get off once…that just doesnt add up to the op’s question but maybe my math is off. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/15 "2007-04-12T04:23:01Z")
[QUOTE=Hail Ants] **Desmond Morris** contends in one of his books (probably **The Naked Ape** ) that, evolutionarily speaking, the female orgasm is long and protracted as a way of insuring that the female remain prone and motionless to better insure conception. [/QUOTE] I had to read this book for a college class that I took once, but I don’t remember which one. Did anyone else have to read this? I liked the “Water Ape” theory it posed. Sorry for the hijack. I tend to think that the female orgasm is probably more to keep guys doing what they were doing… which is one of the things in this book. There are lots of things in this book along those lines, like boobs being in the front to simulate buttocks as sexual response type things… There is no reason the boob has to be big at all to serve the purpose that they serve. Anyways… ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/16 "2007-04-12T04:31:19Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] If you perform activities that directly stimulate the clitoris then I find it does NOT take longer for women to have an orgasm. It’s just that intercourse usually isn’t one of those activitites. [/QUOTE] Exactly. On another board, the consensus was that a shower massager can accomplish the goal in 10 seconds or less. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/17 "2007-04-12T05:01:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Technical answer is that the point of sex from an evolutionary standpoint is to procreate, and pregnancy is far more dependent on the male orgasming then the woman. If woman needed to have an orgasm to become impregnated, I imgaine that they would’ve evolved to be able to make it happen without being dependent on so many psychological factors, like their male counterparts. > > A more interesting question is why females can orgasm at all since it doesn’t directly help them pass on thier genes (I think Cecil has a column on this, but I can’t find it now). One theory is that it helps with social bonding between mates. If thats the case, it makes sense to have a womans orgasm be dependent on a bunch of psychological factors, since the point of the orgasm for them is to help connect them to their mate, rather then simply to release semen and make it feel good so they’ll keep engaging in sex. Except that men don’t need to orgasm to procreate, and women probably orgasm for exactly the same reason as men. Men _do_ need to ejaculate, but there’s no absolute law which says that ejaculation must be accompianied by a wave of euphoric feeling. The reason for the euphoric feeling known as orgasm is so people (of either gender) will want to have sex, since a person who wants to have sex will be more likely to do so, and thus pass on the genes. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-it-so-much-harder-for-women-to-orgasm-than-men/399697/18 "2007-04-12T11:25:37Z")
As I mentioned in another thread, women are more likely to orgasm while cheating, which increases their chance of conceiving, so one theory is that one of the major reasons for female orgasms is to make cheating more efficient.