I don’t think I’ve ever had bad German food. Sure, it’s kinda peasanty, but in a good, hearty way.
Indeed. In fact, I’ll see the worst of your Eastern European Jewish dishes and raise you lutefisk. That stuff is far nastier than any “dry and flavorless brisket,” "tasteless matzoh balls, " “pasty, cold chopped liver with inexplicable pieces of hard boiled egg”, and creamed herring (and I say that as someone who’s of 50% Norwegian descent).
To be fair, however, Scandinavian cuisine is pretty strong when it comes to desserts. Also, there’slefsewhich no doubt comes to us from the kitchen of Valhalla itself. (Just so long as it’s not desecrated with sugar.)
I have, and love that book, and cook from it frequently, but it’s pretty heavy on the Sephardic food.
Because given the choice, that’s what Jews prefer to eat.
Israelis are exposed to virtually every Jewish cuisine in the world. All Israelis eat burekas from Greece, shakshuka from Morocco, kubbeh from Iraq and malawach from Yemen. Only Israelis whose grandmothers come from Poland eat brisket, and they don’t particularly enjoy it.
I’m not familiar with Normandy’s traditions, but two of the places you name are countries - they’re large enough and varied enough to have different regional cuisines; as for Tuscany’s traditional cooking, it pulls from several other traditions thanks to its geographical location.
Spanish food is greatly diverse; paella and fabada have in common that they consist of “a base ingredient and a lot of other stuff”, but the only common ingredients between both dishes are water and salt - but paella and fabada are from places which are very distant to each other by Spanish scales; there are a ton of other regions with other typical dishes in between, and “traditional Spanish food” encompases all of them, not just one place. Traditional food from Las Hurdes is, in great-grandpa’s words, “potatoes for breakfast, potatoes for lunch and potatoes for dinner”: not anybody’s notions of “cuisine”. Any location that’s small enough, isolated enough and poor enough will have a very limited range of “cuisine”, and people who just left it will be no more able to cook a diverse menu than my great-great-grandmother of making paella.
Au contraire, my Aunt’s brisket was an awesome meal. Brisket can be prepared wonderfully.
“Foodie Jews:” quick, register this trademark.
You should be grateful just to have food on the table, with people starving all over the world–*I *didn’t have such nice food when I was a girl.
But never mind, just order out. I’ll just sit in the dark and eat cigarette butts like a dog.
My aunt’s was, too. And the family is afraid she’ll take the recipe to the grave with her; she’s quite elderly and hasn’t shared it, as far as anyone knows. And my low-fat, sugar-free lokshen has been compared favorably with Tanta Mary’s to the point where both my grandmother and aunt swear I channeled her when I prepared it. (I’ll post the recipe if anyone’s interested. It’s diet- and diabetic-friendly, so it’s perfect for family gatherings.)
Jewish food is like any other ethnic cuisine. You can get well-made, delicious traditional dishes, and you can find absolute crap. Some of the harder-core food is best left to those who grew up with it and thus acquired the taste fairly early on in life, but there are also plenty of dishes that are don’t have these ingredients. (I almost typed goyim. :D) Just like Italian, French, Mexican, Spanish, Japanese, and so forth foods.
You forgot to include “going blind” after sitting in the dark. I’m afraid that’s an automatic half-point deduction. Hopefully, you can make up ground during the freestyle kvetching round.
Yeah, that’s why I had a link…
But, your sable might be really good smoked, too!
It vile, however it is made. Eggs and matzoh? Yuck.
Gifelte fish, matzoh balls…there is a reason it is called “The Bread of Affliction”. 
Rubin’s is a great deli in Brookline, but it is the roast beef that is my favorite.
Eh, I love it all, including brisket. (And only one grandmother’s family came from now-Poland, but it was Austria at the time. The other grandmother grew up in an orphanage in Winnipeg, and was an absolutely terrible cook, but we cut her some slack under the circumstances.) And in my neck of the woods, I have opportunities to eat just about anything I want. I firmly believe that almost anything can taste good if properly prepared.
French toast is just eggs and bread… yuck!
I don’t know what sort of sad existence you’ve been leading but Matzoh brie is delicious. (Note that h any form made with sugar is an abomination… perhaps a tasty abomination… but still). You soak the matzoh so it’s soft. Then you squeeze it out and stir it into the beaten eggs with plenty of pepper and Hungarian paprika. Then you cook lots of onions in butter til soft and caramelized. Then you fry the matzoh-egg mixture in the butter and onions. Then you devour in embarassingly large quantities.
My husband, who isn’t Jewish, reminds me to buy extra matzoh for matzoh brie.
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Matzoh balls are also delicious, especially in a rich broth. And good natured shoving matches have been known to develop over my father’s matzoh kugel. It’s legendary.
I know, although perhaps I didn’t express it clearly enough: when I spoke of the “elite cuisines” of those places, I didn’t mean to suggest that they only had one cuisine apiece.
The way I make matzo brie is a little sweet and a little savory. For every whole sheet of matzo, use two eggs or 1/2 cup of Egg Beaters. (Not egg whites. Those are disgusting.) Add a splash of vanilla, some cinnamon, salt, and pepper. I will have to try Hello Again’s recipe, though. I’ve never had it that way and it sounds really good.
Say what now?! The more traditional the better. You can avoid organ meats and still be traditional if that’s what you’re talking about. Honestly, though, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You describe the world’s best cuisine …
simple, healthy, and delicious … as “off-putting”?
That would be married to the Evile Ex Mrs. Plant, who made matzoh brie for breakfast sometimes.
See also the “Bread of Affliction” reference.
Nitpick – it’s matzoh brei, not matzoh brie. Unless you’re French.
Though I suppose matzoh with brie might be good.