# Why is my thingie crooked?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [November 25, 2005, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670 "2005-11-25T09:52:42Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@max\_yasgur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/max_yasgur)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2005, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/1 "2005-11-25T09:52:42Z")
A bit embarrasing really but why is my penis crooked? Is it still possible to fix this? I read somewhere a week ago about penile fracture. So did i fracture it? Works fine though. Thanks.
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### Author:  [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2005, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/2 "2005-11-25T10:17:29Z")
Some information from [this thread](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/001020.html):
> [@Cecil](#):
>
> Moving on to your other complaint, slight curvature of the penis is fairly common and not something to be concerned about–it didn’t seem to bother Bill Clinton, anyway. Extreme curvature is called Peyronie’s disease, a condition involving a stricture of the sheathing tissue that causes the penis to pull to one side (or up or down), as with tape on a balloon. It’s uncertain what causes Peyronie’s disease, although a popular theory at the moment is damage to the penis during sex. Treatment can include vitamin E, drugs, and, as a last resort, surgery. One surgical technique, I note with a shudder, is “partial penile disassembly,” although this seems to have fallen out of favor now, presumably for obvious reasons. (“Doctor, we seem to have a part left over.”) In extreme cases of Peyronie’s disease, the victims are incapable of sexual intercourse–some of their penises look like those animal shapes you make with balloons. In such cases the knife is the only recourse.
He also has a full article on penile fractures and giving it a skim my guess would be that if you had a fractured penis you would currently be screaming like a girl in an ambulance on your way to the ER.
If your penis has always been crooked my guess would be that it’s just around the same thing as that most people’s legs are different lengths and such. If it’s something recent, ask your doctor. Either way if you want real medical advice and are truly worried about this, ask your doctor not us.
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### Author:  [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/3 "2005-11-25T14:17:07Z")
One of my oldest friends is a urologist. He does corrective surgery for this all the time. It’s easy to say that it’s very simple surgery, just a couple of slits on either side and then sew it up. Then again, there is nothing simple about someone taking a knife to your wang.
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### Author:  [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/4 "2005-11-25T14:40:00Z")
There is no more appropriate situation in which the advice “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” applies. If it works just fine, then it ain’t broke. Think about it: what’s the worst that can happen if you just leave it be, compared to the worst that can happen if you take corrective measures?
In my own _ahem_ experience, I have found curvature to be either unnoticable, or to actually contribute an extra dimension to the experience in certain positions.
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### Author:  [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2005, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/5 "2005-11-25T14:44:34Z")
It’s not your ‘thing’, it’s your eyes. Get to the eye DR ASAP!
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/6 "2005-11-25T20:38:51Z")
Surgery in this case is also one of those cases where the cure can be worse than the disease: if it is Peyronie’s, this means that there’s scar tissue on the inside of the curve which is less elastic (i.e.: inflatable) than the other side. If you excise the scar tissue with a knife, you can straighten it out, unless the operation causes the creation of scar tissue, in which case…
Kind of a vicious circle if things go wrong. So, unless it hurts badly enough that you can’t use it, or it’s not straight enough to use, you should probably steer clear of surgery.
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### Author:  [@bizzwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizzwire)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/7 "2005-11-25T21:12:57Z")
Couldn’t you just find someone with a curved hoo-ha?
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2005, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/8 "2005-11-25T21:33:45Z")
Talk about your awkward first date questions…
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### Author:  [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)
#### Post date: [November 25, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/9 "2005-11-25T22:29:30Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#):
>
> Surgery in this case is also one of those cases where the cure can be worse than the disease: if it is Peyronie’s, this means that there’s scar tissue on the inside of the curve which is less elastic (i.e.: inflatable) than the other side. If you excise the scar tissue with a knife, you can straighten it out, unless the operation causes the creation of scar tissue, in which case…
In other words, don’t mess with it unless you’re prepared for it to end up looking like Michael Jackson’s nose. :eek: Also, if frequent masturbation is causing the assymmetry, perhaps you could attempt to employ your other hand…
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### Author:  [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)
#### Post date: [November 26, 2005, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/10 "2005-11-26T04:08:43Z")
> [@max yasgur](#):
>
> A bit embarrasing really but why is my penis crooked? Is it still possible to fix this? I read somewhere a week ago about penile fracture. So did i fracture it? Works fine though. Thanks.
It is a condition having a special medical name. 🙂
You should be proud to have the same condition of our most promiscous potus. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@apostrohpe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apostrohpe)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/11 "2011-04-12T21:21:17Z")
> [@max\_yasgur](#):
>
> A bit embarrasing really but why is my penis crooked? Is it still possible to fix this? I read somewhere a week ago about penile fracture. So did i fracture it? Works fine though. Thanks.
To answer your question on whether it is possible to fix: **yes**.
My background story. Diagnosed with Peyronies as of last week, although the curve has been around for several years and starting getting really bad just recently. I have been frantically googling peyronies info all week because I’m really scared for my penis. Many different sources have all said that PD is treatable with various methods. I have scheduled an appointment with my Urologist in a few days, that should clear some things up. From what I have read my treatment options range from surgery to a [penis stretcher](http://www.x4labs.com/penis-stretchers.php) to topical vitamin E. I’m not sure which one to do, that’s why I’m meeting with a doctor. I suggest that everyone else do the same, no pointing in risking your penis!!
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### Author:  [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/12 "2011-04-12T22:07:57Z")
There once was a man from Kent…
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### Author:  [@Snnipe\_70E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snnipe_70E)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2011, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/13 "2011-04-13T02:21:20Z")
I had a classmate whose nick name was the HOOK.
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### Author:  [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/14 "2011-04-13T02:36:03Z")
> [@Ca3799](#):
>
> It’s not your ‘thing’, it’s your eyes. Get to the eye DR ASAP!
So he’s cockeyed?
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### Author:  [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/15 "2011-04-13T02:41:14Z")
I hear the flesh can be unevenly rotted in the grave.
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### Author:  [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2011, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/16 "2011-04-13T03:27:20Z")
> [@apostrohpe](#):
>
> From what I have read my treatment options range from surgery to a [penis stretcher](http://www.x4labs.com/penis-stretchers.php) to topical vitamin E. I’m not sure which one to do…
Of those three? Yes, you’re sure. Vitamin E cream it is.
(Although I guess it might depend on whether the penis stretcher is a man or a woman).
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### Author:  [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2011, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/17 "2011-04-13T12:00:09Z")
AAAAHHHHH!H!!! It’s the Attack Of The Zombie Hooked Penis!!! :eek:
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### Author:  [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2011, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/18 "2011-04-13T12:59:34Z")
Hope the hooked zombie penis doesn’t get caught in the door handle when the hero speeds to safety.
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### Author:  [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2011, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/19 "2011-04-13T13:56:01Z")
It is a curse?
There once was a man named Moby D—
Who was cursed from birth with a spiral P—
He spent his life in a fruitless hunt
Looking for a mate with a spiral C—
When he found her he near dropped dead
The dirty old C— had a left hand thread! 😃
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-thingie-crooked/332670/20 "2011-04-13T14:18:52Z")
There was a young man from Kent,
Whose penis was crooked and bent.
He was having some trouble,
So stuck it in double,
And instead of coming: he went.
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