# Why is my waitress squatting? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 7, 2006, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514 "2006-07-07T16:11:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/41 "2006-07-07T20:51:51Z")
[QUOTE=faithfool] If you really liked their food **Lynn** , couldn’t you just request “no squatting” when you arrived? I mean, that way you get to eat and be served as you wish, while still conveying a distinct message rather than being forgotten the moment after you’ve finished speaking (as I’ve seen many a manager do with a complaint). [/QUOTE] “Table for two, no smoking, no squatting.” ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/42 "2006-07-07T20:53:55Z")
No problems here. In fact, SWMBO and I were at a seafood restaurant one evening. We came in late and were the last table in our waitress’s section. She gave us excellent service and just as we were finishing up, she brought over the dessert menu and sat down in one of the other chairs. We wound up engaging her in conversation and found her to be an absolutely charming woman. We closed the place down, because we enjoyed talking with her so much. And needless to say, I tipped the hell out of the check. I will grant that was an exception rather than a rule, but the squatting/kneeling/sitting at the table never seems to bother either one of us. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/43 "2006-07-07T20:55:11Z")
In my short time as a waitress, I was never instructed to squat when speaking to patrons, nor would I have done it if asked. That being said, I can’t believe how uptight some people are about it. Is it really that much of an assault to your personal space? The sitting right down on the booth next to a person is a little strange, but it would barely get a reaction out of me. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it seems like there’s something deeper going on here. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/44 "2006-07-07T21:04:14Z")
Thank you **ZipperJJ**. I believe I do recall having seen that a time or two, but I’ve never worked anywhere that required me to do anything like that. Although, I must admit, I wouldn’t mind and instead see it as a challenge on whether or not I could do it legibly. As to the request for “non-squatting,” I just realized that might have sounded snarky and I didn’t mean for it to. I simply know that my experience with any kind of upper management type has usually been with them discounting what a disgruntled customer says the minute they are out of range, and that to have policy actually affected, it had to be something visual (like a regular asking for the above) and others understanding that this could be an option for them to enact as well. IE: It seems to me that many customers in this thread would opt for it if so allowed/presented/knew it was viable. And this would be a great thing if it offered permanent change. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/45 "2006-07-07T21:34:34Z")
[QUOTE=faithfool] Maybe I’m still too new to all this (after a life time as an office drone), but I genuinely have no clue what this means. Are you talking about signing your ticket in front of your guests, forcing you to do so upside down? I’m boggled, I tells ya. And if there’s a chance I’m missing an opportunity on doing something that would make my job more fun for me, well dang it, I wanna a chance to do it too!! Help me please. 😃 [/QUOTE] They do it at Macaroni Grill, too. They have the tables covered in white paper and have crayons at the tables. The servers will sign their name upside down and draw some quick cutsey little picture. A tree, a dog or just a happy face. It’s not nearly as bad as the squatting. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/46 "2006-07-08T05:24:14Z")
I hate the squatting. It feels incredibly patronizing somehow. I’m probably extra-sensitive to anything that strikes me as patronizing (being 4’2" will do that to you, I haaaaaate being talked down to!) but it irritates me nonetheless. There’s a restaurant that opened nearby recently that has pretty good food but absolutely insane customer service policies. I do not like fake perkiness, especially when it’s every single person that works there exhibiting it. I think they give them drugs to make them that way. And I wish they’d stop! Good service does not equal being So Damn Perky, really, it means you are reasonably friendly and bring me my food and keep an eye on the table and stuff. Like, the **doing the job** part of the job. ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/47 "2006-07-08T06:56:05Z")
maybe her pants were too big and she was too busy to pull them up. When you squat, your pants stop falling down. but more likely she was trying to be personable. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/48 "2006-07-08T07:27:10Z")
[QUOTE=NoClueBoy] Argh! I am **The Great and Mighty Flair**! Bow down and worship me, you lowly chain restaurant diners. Thank me that I don’t short you on the servings, ARGH! [/QUOTE] No, no. no. That’s not it at all. it’s more like: _“I’m a limosine ridin’, jet flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheel n’ dealin’ son of a gun! 16 time World Heavyweight Champion, I’m the Nature Boy Ric Flair. Wooooooooooo!”_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Carlyjay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Carlyjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carlyjay)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/49 "2006-07-08T13:37:58Z")
[QUOTE=faithfool] Maybe I’m still too new to all this (after a life time as an office drone), but I genuinely have no clue what this means. Are you talking about signing your ticket in front of your guests, forcing you to do so upside down? I’m boggled, I tells ya. And if there’s a chance I’m missing an opportunity on doing something that would make my job more fun for me, well dang it, I wanna a chance to do it too!! Help me please. 😃 [/QUOTE] As others have said, it has to do with restaurants that have paper tablecloths. My bosses at Jack Astor’s insisted that we write our names upside-down and do a doodle. It seems like it might be fun, but I guarantee you, that along with all the other “lookit how wacky I can be!” stuff reeeeaallly got to me after awhile. It was a relief when I went into a more classy restaurant and could just be a friendly, quiet, polite server. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/50 "2006-07-08T15:04:58Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] I would have asked that she take some time to give birth, then return for my order. [/QUOTE] _Someone_ likes the taste of spit in their food. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/51 "2006-07-08T15:30:13Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Clam] _Someone_ likes the taste of spit in their food. [/QUOTE] As a sufferer of xerostomia, I don’t necessarily _like_ the taste of saliva additives, but they are a necessity. > **[Xerostomia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xerostomia)** > > Xerostomia, also known as dry mouth, is a subjective complaint of dryness in the mouth, which may be associated with a change in the composition of saliva, reduced salivary flow, or have no identifiable cause. This symptom is very common and is often seen as a side effect of many types of medication. It is more common in older people (mostly because individuals in this group are more likely to take several medications) and in people who breathe through their mouths. Dehydration, radiotherapy invo... ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/52 "2006-07-08T21:08:18Z")
[QUOTE=BiblioCat] They do it at Macaroni Grill, too. They have the tables covered in white paper and have crayons at the tables. The servers will sign their name upside down and draw some quick cutsey little picture. A tree, a dog or just a happy face. It’s not nearly as bad as the squatting. [/QUOTE] My wife and I went to MG after she picked me up at the airport from a job-related trip where things had not gone well. The server did his cutesy upside down name thing and laid down the crayon. While we were waiting for dinner, I used the crayon to sketch out an algorithm to collect some data on the problem that had made the trip so bad. I used about 1/4 of their paper tablecloth to psuedo-code it. I got a weird look from the server when he brought out dinner and he didn’t try any more ‘relating’ during dinner. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/53 "2006-07-08T21:20:04Z")
[QUOTE=NoClueBoy] Argh! I am **The Great and Mighty Flair**! Bow down and worship me, you lowly chain restaurant diners. Thank me that I don’t short you on the servings, ARGH! [/QUOTE] It was pure coincidence that the Richard Strauss Zarathustra sunrise theme famous from the movie 2001 played on the radio as background to a commercial just as I read your post. Wasn’t it? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/54 "2006-07-09T01:13:16Z")
[QUOTE=CookingWithGas] My friend Lance has come up with an idea (just an idea so far) called the Tip-O-Meter[sup]TM[/sup]. [/QUOTE] This would, instead of inspiring great service, make me want to kick you in the face. I sincerely hope you’re joking. Servers, like any other job, should get paid well for doing their job well, not be treated like slobbering dogs who get a cookie each time they bark on command or lick your shoes. Sorry if your post was completely in jest, but I found it kind of disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514/55 "2006-07-09T12:34:38Z")
I await the doper that in lucky enough to hear these words from the squating waitress “So that’s one number one andone number two.” “I’ll have it for you in a minute.”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-my-waitress-squatting/363514.md?page=2)